The Mechanical Contrivium: Hetman

[pb_hetman]

"And for the sake of my LJ, I'll try to:
- upload a couple more display pictures
- update my journal once in a while
- comment on other journals as well as my own
- make more e-friends with LJs
- bitch more with intense verbal motherfucking action"

Okay, I lied. '=.=

The past few months have been quite a blur so I'll take a while to sift them out. Meantime, you can read this crap:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Hetman!

1. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Hetman.
2. There are 336 dimples on Hetman.
3. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than Hetman, and 400 times smaller.
4. Hetman can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
5. It's bad luck to put Hetman on a bed!
6. Hetman can't drink - he absorbs water from his surroundings by osmosis.
7. The horns of Hetman are made entirely from hair!
8. In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become Hetman on New Year's Day.
9. Hetman has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
10. Hetman can squeeze his entire body through a hole the size of his beak.

Yeah, WTF. So, I tried my christian name. I got this instead:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about William!

1. William can turn his stomach inside out!
2. In a pinch, the skin from a shark can be used as William!
3. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn into William.
4. To check whether William is safe to eat, drop him in a bowl of water; rotten William will sink, and fresh William will float.
5. Czar Paul I banished William to Siberia for marching out of step.
6. William is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
7. US gold coins used to say 'In William we trust'.
8. William can sleep for three and a half years.
9. While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as William!
10. William is worth his weight in gold - literally!

Now, with "Will":

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Will!

1. Neil Armstrong first stepped on Will with his left foot.
2. There are 336 dimples on Will.
3. Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and Will are all berries.
4. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Will is two minutes.
5. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Will.
6. The Will-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Will-fights take place there every day!
7. Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on Will!
8. All swans in England belong to Will.
9. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Will every year.
10. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Will'.

Ugghh....