(no subject)
Ugh.
I hate when i don't fall asleep fast.
I'm too busy during the day to think about much, but when im laying in bed and there is nothing to do my mind wanders and is plagued.
I started crying again.
Over my dad.
I fee like the biggest douchewad ever for not having visited him in galveston yet. My stepmom goes there every weekend I think...and i have not even found it in my heart to go see him once.
I work all the time though.
But I really miss daddy.
Alot more than I ever thought I was capable.
I really, really love him.
So fucking much.
I really hope he knows that.
And I want to call him so bad right now, but I know if i call him in tears he will get upset and I don't wanna upset him at all.
I just want to give him a hug and and tell him how much I appreciate him being such a great dad to me.
I really do. I just want to hug him like I used to.
I remember when I was younger, how i would run and give him these huge hugs.
Then, when we get older, our hugs become more refined and robotic.
So soft and passionless; void of feeling.
Right now, I want to give him one of the old hugs. The running kind.
I just want him to know how much I care. That's all I want.
I love you daddy.
Thank you for everything. You make my world spin.
I hate when i don't fall asleep fast.
I'm too busy during the day to think about much, but when im laying in bed and there is nothing to do my mind wanders and is plagued.
I started crying again.
Over my dad.
I fee like the biggest douchewad ever for not having visited him in galveston yet. My stepmom goes there every weekend I think...and i have not even found it in my heart to go see him once.
I work all the time though.
But I really miss daddy.
Alot more than I ever thought I was capable.
I really, really love him.
So fucking much.
I really hope he knows that.
And I want to call him so bad right now, but I know if i call him in tears he will get upset and I don't wanna upset him at all.
I just want to give him a hug and and tell him how much I appreciate him being such a great dad to me.
I really do. I just want to hug him like I used to.
I remember when I was younger, how i would run and give him these huge hugs.
Then, when we get older, our hugs become more refined and robotic.
So soft and passionless; void of feeling.
Right now, I want to give him one of the old hugs. The running kind.
I just want him to know how much I care. That's all I want.
I love you daddy.
Thank you for everything. You make my world spin.