make it stop!

[payattention2me]

ugh i hate how no one understands what i have to go through. its not like im faking it. in fact, im glorifying it with all the smiles when i really just want to cry and disappear. yeah so at work today the curse of TOM threw itself upon me and i had no means of self defense. my mom had to try to fix me by stuffing me with medicine (well over the dosage amount) while i tried to choke it down and not throw up all over the place. of course along with the normal symptons of not breathing normal, immense tortorous pain, and streams of uncontrolable tears, came violent shakes due to an abundance of medicine suddenly forced into my body and a dislike for the mass quantity it was being fed. so again i tried to clear my mind and continue on but no, that would just be too lucky. my mom stayed for about a half hour while i just cried and tried to calm down. so in other words she was making sure i wouldnt die, pass out, or throw up. you know...cuz she cares? well apparently others dont because the second i was able to regain enough strength to clock back in and try to work my lovely manager says "go clean dining room." yeah, thats right. not a "how are you?" or "are you feeling better?" but a "go fucking clean you burger bitch" (ok slight exaggeration but still.) well thats just fucking awesome. and then when i can no longer stand the pain and have lasted for as long as i can i ask to go home. thinking, hey you saw how my mom had to stay by my side just to make sure i wouldnt keel over and die that very second so logically i figured he would understand that i gerenally couldnt be at work any longer. apparently i was wrong. so, i was told to wait for dora. reasonable request i suppose. so she gets there and i ask if i can go and the yes he gave me was the sorriest excuse i've ever seen for an affirmative response. it was beyond beleif pathetic. he said i always seem to do it while im working with him (YES!!! CUZ I CAN FUCKING CHOSE WHEN I GET MY DAMN PERIOD??!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!) anyways i went home and i feel absolutely unwanted and deathly ill yet agian. why cant it just leave me alone?! i meane every fucking month, thats a bit excessive, dont you think?

on another note: gangsta party rocked it hardcore!