Comments | pax_morgana: Eye of God: Dive ONE.

pax_morgana

Eye of God: Dive ONE.

Jul 25, 2010 18:03

Title: Eye of God
Chapter: One
Author: pax_morgana
Rating: PG-13 - R
Notes: Coma is a PMSing bitch. Justsayin'. Also, I abuse italics. Like it or lump it.
Chapter Links: ZERO | ONE (you are here)

( Dive ONE )

original:eye of god, pov:3rd limited

Comments 2

angel_gospel July 25 2010, 23:28:15 UTC

Oh, I'm liking this. Coma sounds like just the sort of character that usually wins me over - I don't know why, but I like 'em tetchy. xD It also feels like, although this is just the first part, you've got a great handling on this world you're building. I'm intrigued by this Eye of God business, and curious about what the link ports do, as well as about the identity of the dead teammate - Coma's boyfriend, maybe a brother, or was he/she a girl? This is also really well-written, so the neurotic grammar freak in me is totally loving you. :D You should consider posting a summary, though, since I don't usually jump in blind when reading. Not for just my benefit, of course, since a lot of people prowl the back cover of a book before buying it. And, yeah, I'm one of those precarious people. xD

Great job! You've left me eager for more. :D

pax_morgana July 26 2010, 03:58:06 UTC

Haha, I'm glad that you like it -- particularly Coma, 'cause even though I think he's oodles of fun to write, he's the type of guy who could definitely step on toes. (Part of me did that on purpose, but part of me wants to be careful. Hopefully, I can find a good middle ground as I continue to write.) As to the world, I've actually got the basic outline of the story planned already, and I've had it kind of sitting in the back of my brain for, like, a year or so now.

Two of your three curiosities will be answered in the next chapter, and one of them is a big spoiler. So I'll keep my mouth shut on all of them and let you find out for yourself. ;D

As for the summary business, I chose not to post one mainly because this particular project is mostly for me. It's a big indulgence on my part (read: Matrix ripoff), and not a piece I would repost outside of my personal journal. Nevertheless, EoG is going to be my main focus for now, so I'm glad you like it~