There's a present under the tree?
Much has been weighing in heart since the beginning of Yumemiru Musical Paradise project. Despite the good success, it was full of tears of sadness.
I was passed along this video tonight: http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=G4Ntf-BpwL4While there are still much heaviness in my heart, my tears tonight are not of sadness ( Read more... )
I was passed along this video tonight: http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=G4Ntf-BpwL4While there are still much heaviness in my heart, my tears tonight are not of sadness ( Read more... )
Lynda, I am extremely ashamed to read this. So much -- that I am actually taking my precious free time to respond. Usually, I would turn a blind eye, but sometimes I wonder if you are purposely giving people the wrong idea about your so-called Oneesan 'team.' If anything, I don't think we should be the ones to sit quietly while you continue to make 'hints' on your journal and through other means that we somehow screwed up and you are the victim of it all.
How dare you infer that the very people -- Oneesan -- who helped you put together the event are treacherous.
Simply because we (and this may not include every single one of us, but I can safely say a GOOD NUMBER) do not want to participate in a next event, it does not make us 'treacherous,' nor infer something about our own character traits.
For one, Lynda... have you ever thought about the whole situation from someone's perspective other than your own?
I worked my ass off for this event. I worked on it nearly every day for the 2 months preceding it whenever I had an ounce of free time. I KNOW I was the only member of Oneesan with these time committments. While everyone else did a majority of their contribution on the few days of the event, I seriously put in my (nearly invisible, right?) time hours and hours before it. Everyone just showed up and it was somehow 'magically' put together and ready. Almost.
And let's see... for me, why would I be partially disappointed? No, it wasn't about the event that fans see. That seemingly went well. However, I was a bit disappointed in our leader. Rather than being the 'leader' figure that you are supposed to, there were various times that I was disappointed in your actions or wondered to myself, "How come Lynda isn't helping me with X?" and I knew you had more free time than I did.
"Why is Lynda not talking to Liz? Why is she simply not being civil for the rest of our group's sake?"
"Why did Lynda come early to the event when she had told everyone she was coming a day later? Is she trying to control what Angelic Pretty does? Who cares! Let them spend time with Liz; it's their choice! Just CHILL!"
"Oh, why is Lynda calling me at 2 am? Oh? AP wants candy? You say you will get it done yourself? Good. Then why do I find out Alvin is dealing with it and I have to play phone tag to give him driving directions + instructions?"
"You couldn't get basic information across to Sumire? Why didn't you just give Koni a chance to try? Better than being so unprepared when they arrived."
"You broke AP's contract with them in that you didn't provide them meals or rooms or whatever the heck you had agreed to? Not our problem. But another reason why AP wasn't in the best mood there, either."
"Asuka is breaking a part your fight? Gee, I wonder why. Maybe not because she's 'being nice,' but because you need to act professionally, even if that means sweeping your own problems under a rug and making sure the show goes on. That was something for you to deal with on your own. Why did you bring it into the spotlight of AP?"
"Yes, life sucks. We all knew about your employment situation. But why do you keep trying to rub it in our faces? It's not like we could do something to solve it at the event. If anyone, that's something only YOU have the means to influence."
"Why is Lynda not acting like our leader and making the necessary decisions and letting us flounder around? Our leader should be concerned with leading, whether that means being your best friend or not."
Some of Oneesan have trust issues with you, as well. It didn't help introducing a bunch of new people in as staff without formally introducing them to the rest of the old team and then expecting us to get along. And then you expect each and every one of us to provide you information transparently to you?
So all in all, you expect us to simply believe you are the victim of this year's event? And then expect us to WANT to return for next year's?
Give me a break.
We all volunteered expecting nothing in return. And literally, from our leader... I guess that's what we got.
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How dare you infer that the very people -- Oneesan -- who helped you put together the event are treacherous.
This was not a statement regarding to the entire group, if you have interpreted as such. I am sorry. But this is the nature of "the job". From the ousting of SPJA CEO in 2002, Jen Pon regime from 03~06, the birth of AOD in 05 due to the T.M.Revvolution situation in 04, to our separation from PMX in 2008. The point is, I am sure most everyone had rolled up their sleeves, and really push hard to made everything came together. However we are not immune from having our own problems as other volunteered based organizations have had throughout history.
Simply because we (and this may not include every single one of us, but I can safely say a GOOD NUMBER) do not want to participate in a next event, it does not make us 'treacherous,' nor infer something about our own character traits.
What each person do with their time is their own business. Especially when it's clearly stated. I have no issue with that what so ever, and there shouldn't be. What made you think "Not working next year" had anything to do with anything?
For one, Lynda... have you ever thought about the whole situation from someone's perspective other than your own?
And have you taken the same advice? Believe me I have, and I have not spoke up much because I am aware of perspectives. I also made a point to encourage open dialogs, which not everyone where wiling to fully participated in.
I worked my ass off for this event. I worked on it nearly every day for the 2 months preceding it whenever I had an ounce of free time. I KNOW I was the only member of Oneesan with these time committments. While everyone else did a majority of their contribution on the few days of the event, I seriously put in my (nearly invisible, right?) time hours and hours before it. Everyone just showed up and it was somehow 'magically' put together and ready. Almost.
I acknowledge that, and your efforts were tremendous, and there is no doubt about that. I have personally thanked you numerous times on your invaluable contributions.
And let's see... for me, why would I be partially disappointed? No, it wasn't about the event that fans see. That seemingly went well. However, I was a bit disappointed in our leader. Rather than being the 'leader' figure that you are supposed to, there were various times that I was disappointed in your actions or wondered to myself, "How come Lynda isn't helping me with X?" and I knew you had more free time than I did.
That goes back to not letting me know what things are deficient. How did you figured I have "more free time"? Regardless, one should not assume things. As the old saying goes, the word assume makes an Ass out of U and Me. Just to give you an idea how my days were. It starts at 6:30am, and ends typically around 2am everyday sometimes later.
"Why is Lynda not talking to Liz? Why is she simply not being civil for the rest of our group's sake?"
Liz disassociated, and quit on Aug 20th with her broadcast email to the group. No communication were made until she showed up with AP during that day, and I was completely unaware of any sort of arrangement. This did not get resolved until around 3am on Nov 8th. How have I not been civil? I took it all, the yelling and smears. I have not once retaliated or even rebutted. I always taken it, just let it slide.
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In my 6 years of large scale event planning starting from AX02, it has always been traditional for management to arrive at least a day or two ahead of schedule to oversee any loose ends, and to receive the guests. Last minute changes do happens, and it is always a fact of life when it comes down to something this large in scale. Liz's involvement was not something that was coordinated at all, and I have nothing to do with that. Do not blame me for something that I am completely unaware of. Even with my arriving early, we BARELY had enough time to get all the equipment together, and had to make trips at all hours. For example the audio system and engineers did not just materialize out of thin air like that, and it was not something that was so easily obtained from one source, and we testing of the equipment were not possible until all the components arrived.
"Oh, why is Lynda calling me at 2 am? Oh? AP wants candy? You say you will get it done yourself? Good. Then why do I find out Alvin is dealing with it and I have to play phone tag to give him driving directions + instructions?"
Haven't I already made it very clear? I was informed of the situation, so naturally the first person to contact is you because you were in charged of the catering and logistic. It was for your benefit in case you have some input in the matter. I believe it would be wrong for me to arbitrary change things without informing you exactly what's going on. How do you feel to wake up next morning and the entire thing has been re-arranged without your notice? Communication like this is vital, for the group to be effective. Because we choose not to communicate, all this had unfolded.
Would I have gotten it done myself? I would have if I had my own vehicle, and know my way around LA. There were other concurrent things that were happening at that hour. At the time, Alvin was the only person who had a readied vehicle, and was willing to do go. However he too is not from LA, and have no idea where he's going. How else would you have handled it? I supposed you were also not aware that I was also out on foot all hours, and taking taxies across town to take care of a number of other unrelated crisis throughout the entire week.
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Because Koni has not been reliable, and communication with KS was already taken care of. So Im not sure what you mean by this statement of not being able to get basic information crossed to KS.
I have also asked Koni countless times publicly, and privately to establish a simple conduit of communication between AP and us. However, most calls, text messages, and emails simply went unanswered. I ended up having to call upon other's help to deal with critical time sensitive matters. At one point I have gotten desperate enough to make phone calls to AP on my own without any interpreters. All because pressing issues were not taken care of, and allowing it to sit will have a cascading, that will effect other components of the project. Why is it so hard to have an allocated amount of time every week to go over bullet points outstanding issues, and communicate status? Majority of the time I have been left in the dark with pretty much anything that were planned on the AP side. Further more, I too have school and trying to juggle two jobs, that requires to be on call 24x7, the reason of being completely overwhelmed by school related activities seem a little worn after a while, especially during vacation periods. It doesn't make any sense at all to be both be too busy to deal with what was assigned, and still be upset about not being given new responsibilities.
Further more, the partnership KS has a completely different dynamic than that of AP. As it was all very stern business. The event itself has been derailed so many times due to the conflicts of AP and KS business approaches. Without being able to take care of what was already appointed, and the volatility of the AP + KS relationship. How can I in good consonance believe that Koni can handle more responsibility especially in a professional manner?
"You broke AP's contract with them in that you didn't provide them meals or rooms or whatever the heck you had agreed to? Not our problem. But another reason why AP wasn't in the best mood there, either."
Where on earth did you get that from!? Have you even read the contract? Or are you basing all of that out of hearsay? I don't think you should be making such serious accusations without verifying the facts.
"Asuka is breaking a part your fight? Gee, I wonder why. Maybe not because she's 'being nice,' but because you need to act professionally, even if that means sweeping your own problems under a rug and making sure the show goes on. That was something for you to deal with on your own. Why did you bring it into the spotlight of AP?"
If you're referring to the talk I had with Liz. I've already explained it. She had quit, and made it very clear of so. The nature of how she shoehorned herself made it impossible to separate. How did I end up "bringing" anything when I had nothing to do with any of it at all?
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Since when have I posted anything on my journal regarding such? Sure It was made public at the end of the event, and I might have grumbled about it initial over IM. I do think about it day and night, for the simple reason for worrying about a roof over my head, and a warm meal next day, but I don't discuss about it. But making such an statement about someone's livelihood is not very tactful, and it is not a subject I want to talk about.
"Why is Lynda not acting like our leader and making the necessary decisions and letting us flounder around? Our leader should be concerned with leading, whether that means being your best friend or not."
Do tell me exactly what your definition of "leading" is. Perhaps you can lend a better example? Decisions were always made in timely and swift manner, but "floundering" happens when a decision gets made, and the execution is not follow through for whatever reason. Compound that with a constant "if I don't get XYZ, then I'm going to quit." ramifications threats. I sincerely hope you do not think "leading" is as simple, and conflict free as the Smurfs.
Some of Oneesan have trust issues with you, as well. It didn't help introducing a bunch of new people in as staff without formally introducing them to the rest of the old team and then expecting us to get along. And then you expect each and every one of us to provide you information transparently to you?
The matter of trust goes both ways, especially when promises were broken. The responsibility of recruitment was one of the major issues. That was Liz's originally responsibility. However it was terminated due to complications, and triage was rendered to fulfilled that requirement. Introductions of new members were made, and they were important to ensure the smoking craters in our ranks were filled. But I feel it is unreasonable to expect me micromanage every little proceeding. We are all supposed to be adults, should we have not have grown pass the stage of not having to be handheld past the initial introduction? Regarding to information provisioning, how am I supposed to "lead" when there are nothing for me to work from? You want me to make decisions but without dispense of anything for me digest? How does that work?
So all in all, you expect us to simply believe you are the victim of this year's event? And then expect us to WANT to return for next year's?
How you feel about it is, your own assessments. However, I have asked myself similar questions over and over again.
Give me a break.
We all volunteered expecting nothing in return. And literally, from our leader... I guess that's what we got.
You might have forgotten, that I too am a volunteer, and my only goal was to incubate the community. If you believe I am ungrateful of what was achieved, you are wrong.
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