Bank of America's Lucky Booger
I just got a lucky penny in the mail from Bank of America. I didn't bother reading anything because I saw the penny, and as everyone knows, Jews love free money. After that, I saw that you were supposed to scratch something off with it, which appealed to me greatly since - sigh - I'm a scratchoholic.
I love the sensation of scratching something off paper. I used to regularly pick up discarded lottery tickets and scratch off the rest of the play area. I treasured the ones where a person would scratch off just enough to realize that they wasted another $5 worth of child support and wouldn't be able to make rent that month, and would angrily fling them towards the ground. I'd scrape off the rest of the film and hope that I wasn't concentrating herpes under my fingernails, or something.
It even extends to other, weird things. I love picking things out of tiny crevaces with a toothpick. Every once in awhile, after I'd walked through mud, I'd clean out my shoes with a toothpick and knife, until the bottoms were absolutely clean. I guess it's some weird OCD thing I have, but apparently I'm not alone - the letter plainly stated that there was an mp3 player under the golden square, and there wasn't really any need to cover it up with the little sheet of whatever that must be scratched off. There must be thousands, if not millions of us. Who knows, the entire Scratch-Off lottery franchise may have been founded after extensive market research showing that people love to scratch.
The prize itself was a 256 meg mp3 player, and the cost of membership in whatever they were offering was $12.99 a month. I didn't really feel like paying $150 for a shitty mp3 player that could hold maybe four CD's, so I threw the letter in the trash, and the penny into my coin jar.
A penny saved is a penny earned, and I bet the booger on it makes it lucky.
I love the sensation of scratching something off paper. I used to regularly pick up discarded lottery tickets and scratch off the rest of the play area. I treasured the ones where a person would scratch off just enough to realize that they wasted another $5 worth of child support and wouldn't be able to make rent that month, and would angrily fling them towards the ground. I'd scrape off the rest of the film and hope that I wasn't concentrating herpes under my fingernails, or something.
It even extends to other, weird things. I love picking things out of tiny crevaces with a toothpick. Every once in awhile, after I'd walked through mud, I'd clean out my shoes with a toothpick and knife, until the bottoms were absolutely clean. I guess it's some weird OCD thing I have, but apparently I'm not alone - the letter plainly stated that there was an mp3 player under the golden square, and there wasn't really any need to cover it up with the little sheet of whatever that must be scratched off. There must be thousands, if not millions of us. Who knows, the entire Scratch-Off lottery franchise may have been founded after extensive market research showing that people love to scratch.
The prize itself was a 256 meg mp3 player, and the cost of membership in whatever they were offering was $12.99 a month. I didn't really feel like paying $150 for a shitty mp3 player that could hold maybe four CD's, so I threw the letter in the trash, and the penny into my coin jar.
A penny saved is a penny earned, and I bet the booger on it makes it lucky.