(no subject)
Haven't updated for a while because schools intense this year. There's def. highs and lows of it.Midterms are soon which is a low cuz I need to study still.Economics is ending- I'll miss it- good times with kate. My english term papers over- I think we all got 100.Term paper # 2 is due Jan 24th for economics- I should start that.Scholarship stuff is also due that day-- still have to do that too. Syracuse's application is in and villanova. that's it. but thats cuz i know im going to villanova. im mailing uconns out as a back up sometime next week.
a plus is that i finally got myself unanxious about taking calc tests this year. when materials that hard i don't believe in myself enough or something so i take the test in the classroom next door to my class so that i don't get anxious. i think i did really well on the intergrals test today but i earned it cuz i studyed my butt offff.
my schedules crazy lately- no time to breathe. for example, tomorrow morning im leaving for myrtle beach bc my moms parents live there n she misses them. ill be there til monday night. then my economics final is next week in class. then next weekend i will have to do my term paper and scholarship stuff. then midterms are that week so ill have to study for them sometime too. then the weekend that midterms end i have all county orchestra until 9 on friday and early in the morning until like 8 pm on sat. and i have to prepare for that. then mellander wants me to do 2 nyssma songs. idk if i am yet. somethings gotta give. ive been giving up lunch time at school to prepare for all county. which is good but that means the only thing i eat every 24 hours is dinner. but thats good cuz i need to lose weight anyway. not that im turning anorexic. its just that i dont have TIME to eat. after a while i just dont get hungry anyway cuz im used to not having time for food anymore. food and sleep are not my prioites. i guess thats why i get sick a lot. but i enjoy all the activities i do and im too stubborn to quit.
my sleeps been soo off because of school work mixed with dance, tutoring, etc. its okay though- its worth it because this all needs to get done. i cant wait for things to slow down and to start enjoying senior year. one more annoying thing is ap physics. i got a 38 out of 100 on the latest test and i havent passed a single one all year. my teacher claims that i should still try study science in college though as planned and that my "brain will develop " more. he says right now my brain isnt developed enough to comprehend it but that maybe itll be better in college. blunt, but i guess its true if he said it. my dad and i had a long talk about priorities today. mixed in with all the things i have to do lately ive been tryna balance time for friends. i cram all week and then strictly hang out w ppl on weekends. well that isnt working. ...so as of now i cant hang out with ppl for a couple weeks much if at all. but no one can i guess cuz of midterms so w.e. in feb i prob can start having time to hang again. ill miss the good times with jenn amanda and maggie but right now im not allowed to have em. ill attempt to see eric each weekend but he doesnt seem to wanna anyway. he deserves better, i cant give him whatever it is that he needs.i need to hang out w him to figure out where we are. cuz im not sure anymore. i keep seeing him as just a friend because he barely talks to me. but i told him that today and things were back to how i like them. i hope he talks to me now because he wants to and not cuz he feels obligated to. hopefully thingsll work out.
thats all i really have time to say for now. everythings such a rush.
cya tuesday
love you ALL <3