Valentine's day
Valentine's day alone again.. the last time was in 2002 and this is kinda sad, it's been 5 years and I'm back again to this freakin, hellish mental state that I hate so much..
Where have you gone, pure love, happy moments? I should have known the equilibrium was meant to melt away and I should have been happy of what happened to me.. I miss it now.
I miss you.
Why are you drifitng away? Why can't I bring you back? I tried everything. You said "Accept them changes"..
I can't. I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want to.
Valentine's Day alone again, and I have no one to say "I love you" to. No more virginity to lose. No more gifts to give, or miles to walk under the snow to bring stupid letters.
I could still catch a bus and go see you somehow. You'd hate me for it. I should suicide instead.
Just joking, really.
I know it's pointless, it's finished, the end has come. I FUCKING KNOW FUCKING IT FUCK! So you people should just STOP telling me "it's over, you know" and "get over it"... I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT, OKAY?!
I hate everyone, I hate being torn between assholes that like me and intelligent people that think I'm an asshole, I hate being.. me, I hate this life..
I hate not being able to sing, I hate my overloaded schedule, my lack of capacity, my shy-ness, my ... everything. I hate me. And I hate him for leaving me alone. I bet he won't be online tonight, at all.. And I'll be alone.. Crying if I can get the tears out.. this hasn't happened in so long.
I should be doing schoolwork right now. But I don't feel like it. I still have a few hours to do so, so..
Eh.
I think my fucking infection is back. I think I need to go back to CLSC again and this makes me cringe. But oh well what can a girl do. Next tuesday. Next tuesday I will.
Oh, and I finally got to see Danny.
Where have you gone, pure love, happy moments? I should have known the equilibrium was meant to melt away and I should have been happy of what happened to me.. I miss it now.
I miss you.
Why are you drifitng away? Why can't I bring you back? I tried everything. You said "Accept them changes"..
I can't. I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want to.
Valentine's Day alone again, and I have no one to say "I love you" to. No more virginity to lose. No more gifts to give, or miles to walk under the snow to bring stupid letters.
I could still catch a bus and go see you somehow. You'd hate me for it. I should suicide instead.
Just joking, really.
I know it's pointless, it's finished, the end has come. I FUCKING KNOW FUCKING IT FUCK! So you people should just STOP telling me "it's over, you know" and "get over it"... I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT, OKAY?!
I hate everyone, I hate being torn between assholes that like me and intelligent people that think I'm an asshole, I hate being.. me, I hate this life..
I hate not being able to sing, I hate my overloaded schedule, my lack of capacity, my shy-ness, my ... everything. I hate me. And I hate him for leaving me alone. I bet he won't be online tonight, at all.. And I'll be alone.. Crying if I can get the tears out.. this hasn't happened in so long.
I should be doing schoolwork right now. But I don't feel like it. I still have a few hours to do so, so..
Eh.
I think my fucking infection is back. I think I need to go back to CLSC again and this makes me cringe. But oh well what can a girl do. Next tuesday. Next tuesday I will.
Oh, and I finally got to see Danny.