Whispering Hearts (JB One-Shot)
Title: Whispering Hearts
Pairing: Kevin/Joe
Author: paulsdoll
Rating: PG 13
Summary: “We shared everything without fights, but now it wasn’t funny. Now we were sharing our hearts. They’re siamese, and if I tried to separate them, at least one of them was going to die. I couldn’t kill Joe. I couldn’t kill myself. I couldn’t wait any much longer for this to happen.”
Warnings: Incest, (duh)
Disclaimers: Sadly, very sadly, I don’t own my future husbands Joey and Kevvy. (At least for now) And this is all a wonderful story I created in my beautiful jonas-loving mind.
Additional notes: Second fic I’ve done. Feel free to comment and tell me what’s wrong. Like I said, English it’s not my first language, and I like constructive criticism.
“I don’t want to do this”
“Kev, baby, I know you want to. You just don’t know if...”
“If this is right”
The conversation that we had 2 days ago still was alive in my mind, bubbling still, and it seamed that it was fighting to stay there. All I could think about Joe, and the things he said. Right now, my mind and my body, this piece of hurting pale skin, both were a dessert. The only things that kept me alive were my brothers. Not even the sweet notes I used to play months ago were a resting place for my suffering heart anymore. Joe was my savior in times like this, when this horrible depression hit me. When all I could feel was my empty stomach and my empty soul. This wasn’t normal on a rock star, but sometimes it happened. Hey, I was sensitive, a true romantic. So from time to time I just stayed in my bed, securing the door that connected my room to Joe and Nick’s room. I knew I didn’t need to wait a lot until Joe opened my door, knowing something was wrong, and bringing me to life again.
Joe was a common name, but this Joe, my Joseph was uncommonly beautiful. The person inside him always danced with new life. One can see it trough his dark eyes, the daylight moons. He always showed me how stupid it was to stay in my corner. He always stayed there, until I stopped crunching my mind about whatever problem I had. He rescued me from my own hell, from my own devils, from the fire I had created around myself. He was my personal angel, and I would give him anything he wanted, but this...this was...difficult to me. He was asking me to dive too deep.
I wanted it, you don’t know how much. But, something in the back of my head told me it was wrong. There were this drums, that from time to time placed puzzles in my head. That told me that even God didn’t know who I’ve become for wanting this...for wanting him. For wanting Joe...
“I’m sorry” Joe said, eyes gleaming dark, piercing my skin with the pain I also felt.
“Joe...” I started to say, trying to be as brave as him, and talk about the situation, but I could not end the phrase.
Joe looked at the floor, and then at me. He was trying to hide his tears. Even his tears looked beautiful, like crystals illuminated from the sun.
“I know this is a little crazy, Paul. But... I love you” He told me, tears washing his perfect cheekbones, setting in fire the center of my chest.
“More than a brother. And I desire you. So much I can’t hide it anymore” He smiled a little bit, then, he abandoned the room, leaving me alone, and with a decision to take.
He was my brother. We lived together since he was born. Our parents loved us the same. Nick loved us as the only thing we should be: Brothers. We shared everything without fights, but now it wasn’t funny. Now we were sharing our hearts. They’re siamese, and if I tried to separate them, at least one of them was going to die. I couldn’t kill Joe. I couldn’t kill myself. I couldn’t wait any much longer for this to happen.
He wasn’t going to talk to me. I knew, this time, I had to tell him I wanted him too. Of course I desired him! I wanted to feel him more close to me. I needed him, his skin against mine. I needed and I wanted him now, like when my lungs pressed my chest when air failed me. I had dreams where he was inside me, sealing my thirst with his sweat, making me more hungry of him with his moans. Making real my utopian dreams. Giving me faith in life and in love. Making bend and break my spine, making me feel like a toy, like his favorite person. Making my feet fly, like doves. Loving more and more the pain he inflicted to me. But not this type of pain. I lost this battle, and I will lose him if I didn’t tell him the truth about my love, abut my desire, abut how much I needed and wanted him. I needed to tell him I felt the same, that I wanted to taste like him, that I wanted to be his lover, his companion, that I wanted to make the puzzle come to place with his hands in my body.
I woke myself out of that mental state, and stood up. I looked at the mirror in my room. I could just see a man, nothing special about him. Just brown curls all over the place, big hazel eyes, greener than ever, and a smile. A smile that represented the feeling of happiness that grew inside me. That feeling surrounded my entire atmosphere, like my own personal sun above me.
That second I knew I could do anything. That second, looking at my black pupils I knew that the crazy thing I felt for Joe was real, and I wanted something...no...Everything to happen.
So I lost my shirt, and opened the door that connected my room with Joe’s. He was there, with little white cables coming out of his ears, and his head thrown back. His hair was falling back on his pillow like little black shiny snakes. His bed, like always, wasn’t made. He had sheets all over the place. That I didn’t like. It looked like hell with an angel.
I stood there until he was aware of my presence. He looked at me, a little shocked, but with a clue of relief in his face.
Before he could stand up I was already on top of him, kissing his mouth. I could listen to what he was listening to. Shipbuilding from Elvis Costello...
I put my hand on his back, and slowly I started to lift off his shirt. His mouth and his perfect lips tasted like coffee, and he smelled like it too, so I was almost in heaven. Almost. I stood up, leaving him with a almost scared face went to the door that connected his room with Nick’s, and put the lock on. He smiled.
“You changed your mind” He said, smiling. That smile made me melt into a puddle of nothingness, and that nothingness was made of love.
“I was fighting against my true self. Joseph Adam Jonas, I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before, and I don’t care that we’re brothers. Because if we are it’s because God wanted us to end in this same place. And this desire I feel for you...”
He stood up, looked at my eyes, and kissed me. Nothing in a million years could taste as sweet and as true as that.
“I was waiting for a person like you, but I never thought that it was You what I was waiting for” He told me.
“Joe, I need to grow old with you. I need to stay with you...forever. I need your heart next to mine...”
I felt a tear running down my cheek, refreshing. He smiled, pushed me into his bed, and hugged me tight, never stopping the kisses.
I felt that we were the same person, that we needed the same thing. That we lived for each other. That we could live the rest of the eternity on love and kisses. On his skin. I felt like I could do this. I could love Joe...And at least for now, I was doing it great, or that I felt.
He stopped kissing me, revealing his body pulling out his shirt. He funded into my bare chest, trying to make our bodies into one.
“Make my heart melt with your heat,baby.” He said in whispers, over and over again, until the words stopped.
Our bodies, our faces, our hair, one only person. Our hearts were so close, that we didn’t need to talk. No need to whisper. Just need to stay there.