my mind 3 AM at Nadia and Lacey's
Yo. Im doin this on NADia’s awesome Gateway computer, that is not Ashelii’s dan!!! This is the version before Ash’s. Anywho, windows vista is interesting; I like it, but I still need to get used to it.
I cant wait to get my new laptop from Harry. But I cant get it until I get my refund check, which I have a funny feeling I wont be getting until December? Any bets? Fucking res-life, I swear to god. Financial aid and what not. Shit, I still need to go back in there and finish up the loan shit. Arg! Ok. So, I guess once that is done. Omg, that means its my fault. Does it? Its both our faults, shit, were such lazy fucks. Ugh. Anywho. What else do we gots to say.
Oooooh. Im currently copying all of lacey’s music from her computer to my hard drive. Once that is done, I move on to capture all of Nadia’s, and then Ali’s hopefully tomorrow morning? Hmm. This is so cool, being here with everyone. I seriously am so content just being here, sitting here, chillin here, and just like that. I know life cant always remain like this, but honestly I don’t want this to end. I want to work, come home to a place full of my friends and chill. All I want to worry about is payin part of the rent, and what I am going to be doin later that day. I would seriously enjoy life. I could get so much done, and at the same time be lovin it all. What could I do??? Hmmm
***as I look to the ceiling, and clouds come out of nowhere***
I could come back to an apartment, go online… do w/e on there. I was just thinking to myself, why not run a website. Nadia’s seems to be so much better at the design portion of that, which I really hope to learn someday. What do I want to do again?? Idk. Im so lost with my goals in life. I guess I really don’t need to be sure of what I want in life. I seriously would be content with a job like… idk, a job anywhere that can pay the rent with a good amount left over. Possibly one that I don’t have to travel that far to, and with good people there too. Seriously, a job where u don’t get along with the people there, just isn’t worth it. I would get mad bored mad quick yo. But anyway.
A job, a good life with some hobbies, and friends. What more do u want??? Seriously now. Ok, eventually a family, but I don’t want to start a life like that yet. that’s so ridiculous, I want to live first! Why does everyone immediately get a big job as soon as they get out of college??? Why!! Then, they r tied down to wherever u r! granted, I wouldn’t mind that, but I want to travel when I want with whom I want, where I want. And yea, it will be expensive, so I would need that big job to pay for it all I guess. But screw living on your own, paying a full fucking rent like that, I don’t want that shit. that’s lonely and just isn’t thinking right. Haha. Move in with roomies
Ok, im done. Umm, back to what I was dreaming about. Aw yes, what could I do here. Chill with friends, watch movies, read, do a number of activities with friends, and a number of hobbies. Fucking school. I hate school. But I guess I answered part of my problems right then and there. What would I like to do with life. Learn computers? Web design?? Photography? Criminal Justice? Arg. Theres no way I can do double major. Idk how im going to pull off finishing this semester anywho with that criminal law class. Im so going to fail the midterm. If I can even take it. If I cant, withdraw right away. I wonder if I can withdraw multiple classes knocking my credits down below the residence thing rule. Ok, so im gunna withdraw from Calc most def. That knocks me down to 13 credits. I am going to withdraw possibly from Criminal Law or technical -communications. Either one. If both, then -6 credits from that, so 7. If its impossible for me to catch up in physics lab 1, then why not just withdraw from that too, so im down to CORE and Comp C++. I will be able to replace two classes I withdrew from previously with semi good grades. I am pretty sure I can pull off some good grades with these classes. Hopefully I wont get kicked out for that shit. You think I would? I hope not. That would really suck if I ended up being kicked out.
Idk if I would like to move back to cali for a semester. I seriously would love to live here, find a place to be for awhile, get a job, and just live that life I said would be great. I would love to live with Lacey and Nadia. It is so chill here, but of course, no room of my own. I wouldn’t mind crashin on the couch! Haha, that would be funny. No, but living with friends would be pretty fun. I want to get an apartment. Either the next year, or the year following next. Especially next to these two if they are still here or elsewhere. Living on my own, with some pals, payin for our rent, goin to school part time. It would be awesome. I could definitely live that life.
But what if I end up havin to go back to Cali??? Ok, time for a list.
Possibilities if I end up getting kicked out of school at the end of this semester:
1. GO back to Cali
A. Live with mom for a semester, come back here asap
B. Live with mom, until she moves VA, and then move back up to NJ.
C. Live with Brian in San Francisco, or Steven in LA for a time.
2. Stay here,
A. Dorm hop/ crash at friend’s places
B. Find own apartment, after getting job to pay for that place.
Ok, option number 2. That would be pretty kick ass. But it would be stressful, and option a for that would feel like an intruder 24/7. Even tho it would make life a hell of a lot more difficult, this is an option, but not a likely one.
Option number 1, is a more likely smarter choice. But of course I would have to continue school right away. But I would be able to get a car according to my mom, if I move back to cali. Damn straight I better get a car. Fuckin live in sacramento without a car, is insane! I would try to live with my friends in SF or LA, get a job and go to community college where ever there. It wouldn’t cost that much, in fact it would prolly be free for me. If not that, then my mom, which is prolly pretty crazy to think about but the way I am thinking of it would be me living there, having a job I would go to, classes, and coming home late, so my mom would be sleepin. That would be dream life. Haha then I can just go online, do w/e I want, until the next day. Of course, I wouldn’t have everyday be like that, but it would def be worth it.
Omg, I actually am thinking about that and longing for that life. Idk about it tho. I think I would miss my friends here way way too much. I already cant stand being alone, not to mention most of my closest friends live off campus. How ironic is that? So I already cant stand it half the time. I get down every week when classes come. B/c I know its gunna be a few days before I am out of class stress, and then I can see my friends again, yay! Haha. I know that’s bad, but my other friends at campus, besides just a few, have become basically, coworkers. Like in RHA, Joan, Jazzy, Ken, Kibby, nirohda, and jamil. All of them have become like that, but I don’t see or speak to ken much anymore except b.c RHA. Joan is only when she is mad at me; Jazzy is cool with me either way. I love that girl. She will hug me no matter what! Haha. Besides them, everybody else is cool. Klo, I see every now and then. Connie I don’t see at all as much as I would like. She is def. a good friend and a fun person to be with. …
Ok. Sleep time. Im fallin asleep here and cant stand it anymore.
The computer is still transferring music. I can see it across the room. From here, about 7 bars done. I would say an eigth of the way done. =) brilliant. Such a slow computer lacey. So slow. Ill finish and post this blog later when I wake up. Gnight people…