Dream of Red Mansions
I’ve been reading Wai-Yee Li’s opinions of “The Dream of Red Mansions” and am exposed to yet another opinion of the main character, Jia Bao-Yu. I’ve heard of Jia referred to, by Chinese writers, as a great romantic lover, a wimpy milksop, and a sexual Peter Pan. The situation is complicated by the author dying before he finished the book, including deciding just how old Jia is, a factor that varies throughout the book (from six to sixteen). Wai-Yee’s take on the issue is that Jia represents “lust of the mind” (an unfortunate way of translating the concept, I fear) instead of “lust of the body.” “Lust of the body” is self-explanatory, while “lust of the mind” means a man appreciates the qualities, including the beauty, of many women, without necessarily intending to have sex with them (I suppose the concept could be applied to a variety of sexual orientations). Jia symbolizes a strange way station between romantic love and enlightened, universal love.
Unfortunately, his position as a lover (platonic or erotic) of all the women he knows (he refers to men being like mud and women like water), is only possible within the walled garden world of his family’s mansion. He is freed by wealth from earning a living or even going to school, and raised by women relatives and servants, with men, even his father, being only occasional intruders from the corrupt outer world. His life is one of sensitivity and poetry, not money and politics. That the women around him have other ideas for him besides attaining enlightenment through love (seeing him as the future heir to the family wealth) complicates his life and leads to many misunderstandings. The women around him are good people, but in a normal way instead of Jia’s metaphorical way.
I have swung back and forth on whether or not to adopt Bao-yu as my Chinese name, depending upon with of these theories I have most recently read. This one swings me back towards the idea, since living in China it is easy for me to appreciate the qualities of the women I meet. For me, friendship and love exist on a sliding scale, not across a divide. I’ve often been attracted to friends and remained friendly with ex-girlfriends. My ESL job is a little like the walled garden of Bao-Yu that makes it possible, relieving me of dealing with the often nonsensical, corrupt real world. My bosses generally leave me be, and I have plenty of spare time for the life of the mind.
I know some people find that strange, but the only difference between what I want in a friend and a girlfriend is the sexual attraction, so it makes perfectly good sense to me, and people who agree with me seem to have better romantic relationships than those who don’t. I would also say fewer relationships, which is in this case a compliment since the reason they have fewer relationships is because they lasted longer.
Unfortunately, his position as a lover (platonic or erotic) of all the women he knows (he refers to men being like mud and women like water), is only possible within the walled garden world of his family’s mansion. He is freed by wealth from earning a living or even going to school, and raised by women relatives and servants, with men, even his father, being only occasional intruders from the corrupt outer world. His life is one of sensitivity and poetry, not money and politics. That the women around him have other ideas for him besides attaining enlightenment through love (seeing him as the future heir to the family wealth) complicates his life and leads to many misunderstandings. The women around him are good people, but in a normal way instead of Jia’s metaphorical way.
I have swung back and forth on whether or not to adopt Bao-yu as my Chinese name, depending upon with of these theories I have most recently read. This one swings me back towards the idea, since living in China it is easy for me to appreciate the qualities of the women I meet. For me, friendship and love exist on a sliding scale, not across a divide. I’ve often been attracted to friends and remained friendly with ex-girlfriends. My ESL job is a little like the walled garden of Bao-Yu that makes it possible, relieving me of dealing with the often nonsensical, corrupt real world. My bosses generally leave me be, and I have plenty of spare time for the life of the mind.
I know some people find that strange, but the only difference between what I want in a friend and a girlfriend is the sexual attraction, so it makes perfectly good sense to me, and people who agree with me seem to have better romantic relationships than those who don’t. I would also say fewer relationships, which is in this case a compliment since the reason they have fewer relationships is because they lasted longer.