Dating in China
A friend of mine back in Portland told me about the "third date rule." Apparently, a woman has to have sex on the third day, because if she has sex before then she's a slut and if she waits longer than the man will get bored and move on. I'm not sure if this "rule" is more demeaning of men or women, but it hardly matters. The point I'm getting to is that in China the "third date rule" is usually about holding hands.
My students asked me if I dated anyone in China, so I asked them how to define a date. "Holding hands." "The possibility of holding hands." "Being alone with a boy in a theater." They were just so cute. And these were college students. The look of shock on their faces when I told them about the "hook up" culture in America was priceless.
If you are a Western guy out with a Chinese woman, and you pay, it's looking like a date. If she pays, she is hosting the foreign guest. If you go dutch, you're friends. Roughly.
If you are a Western woman who wants to date Chinese men, buyer beware. Yes, these Chinese college boys are much more likely to have wash board abs than their American counterparts, but the adult Chinese men are much more likely to smoke and drink too much. And these Chinese college boys have about as much sexual experience as you'd expect from an American junior high kid. They are nice kids, but shy and inexperienced.
One western woman friend of mine dated three Chinese guys. One passively aggressively dumped her, another was in his mid-twenties and still respected the curfew his mother gave him, but the third turned out to be a keeper: handsome, a nice guy with a nice job, and not living with his mother.
And so yes, I have enjoyed many women's company in the last four and a half years. They are nice to me, I am nice to them, and a nice time is had by all. I probably feel better about women as women than any other time in my life. But if you just want to sleep around, I suggest you hit the bars. The women there are looking for sugar daddies.
My students asked me if I dated anyone in China, so I asked them how to define a date. "Holding hands." "The possibility of holding hands." "Being alone with a boy in a theater." They were just so cute. And these were college students. The look of shock on their faces when I told them about the "hook up" culture in America was priceless.
If you are a Western guy out with a Chinese woman, and you pay, it's looking like a date. If she pays, she is hosting the foreign guest. If you go dutch, you're friends. Roughly.
If you are a Western woman who wants to date Chinese men, buyer beware. Yes, these Chinese college boys are much more likely to have wash board abs than their American counterparts, but the adult Chinese men are much more likely to smoke and drink too much. And these Chinese college boys have about as much sexual experience as you'd expect from an American junior high kid. They are nice kids, but shy and inexperienced.
One western woman friend of mine dated three Chinese guys. One passively aggressively dumped her, another was in his mid-twenties and still respected the curfew his mother gave him, but the third turned out to be a keeper: handsome, a nice guy with a nice job, and not living with his mother.
And so yes, I have enjoyed many women's company in the last four and a half years. They are nice to me, I am nice to them, and a nice time is had by all. I probably feel better about women as women than any other time in my life. But if you just want to sleep around, I suggest you hit the bars. The women there are looking for sugar daddies.