HELLO EVERYONE! HELLO WORLD!
Wow! It has been such a very long time since I've been on livejournal.
I quickly read through my last posts before I went MIA and I am kind of (I really shouldn't though, knowing me) surprised at how very ME these posts were. That may sound strange, but I usually tend to forget how awesome I am. Okay that also sounds strange and maybe a little egotistical but it's true! I often forget the good things and focus on the bad things and that tends to get me down.
Okay let's backtrack a little bit. I know I've made friends here on LJ before, I think you're still around, if you are say hi! I checked Brigits_Flame and am really glad to see the community still going strong. I think in that part of my life, it was a big help to me.
For those who are interested (mainly probably only future me), hello! I'm Joy. Nice to meet you (again?).
I graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Electrical Engineering in 2014. I've been working full-time since then at a small local engineering company and have been living the life (woo! money!) since then. Things have been going pretty great and moving along. I'm really glad that I was offered this job right after I graduated, since I didn't really have any solid plans after I've graduated. I'm pretty sure my only plan was: keep working at my same old job until I've found a good job. Well, I am certainly very lucky. I also had applied for a Master's degree that same year but was rejected after telling them that I accepted the job offer.
You know, that last paragraph made it seem like the last 1 1/2 years of my life has been pretty awesome. It definitely has but there also has been some downns. Now, I am only saying that because I think looking back at the last ~2 years and then even going back further, I think I have always been Me.
I've recently been struggling a lot with self-identity and where I belong and all that crap. I've also been struggling with making big decisions, trying to become my own person, becoming an Adult, and just life in general. I have been going through the motions (aka going to work, going home, seeing pets, seeing my boyfriend (yes I have a boyfriend! maybe I will blog post about him at some point later), hanging with family, and hanging with friends) but I have always had this nagging feeling that I'm not doing the best that I can. It's still there, really, that feeling that I'm not pushing myself hard enough at work, for family, and I'm missing out on the things I really want to do because I'm always doing something else.
I have to say that since graduating, there has been a significant amount of change in my life and in myself. And at the same time, not enough. Does anybody else get this feeling? I have this tendency to overthink things and because of that I think I also stressed myself out and have developed some anxiety. Generally, I try to stay positive but there are days when I am just sad. It sucks.
So far, this post has proven to be quite a stress reliever. I don't think I've had the chance to really release my personal feelings this way since a very, very long time. I think I will end it here for now. Hopefully, I'll come back and write a little bit more soon.
I went back and read my last BF entry and I seriously got the chills reading it again. I wrote that? Wow. I don't write anymore, I'm focusing on other things now, but deep down I think I'm definitely a creative person at heart. I love art, I love writing, and I love music. All of these things make me really happy. I'm not completely there yet, but I am coming to love the engineering side of me too.
Hello again to everyone! I'm glad to be back.
-Joy
I quickly read through my last posts before I went MIA and I am kind of (I really shouldn't though, knowing me) surprised at how very ME these posts were. That may sound strange, but I usually tend to forget how awesome I am. Okay that also sounds strange and maybe a little egotistical but it's true! I often forget the good things and focus on the bad things and that tends to get me down.
Okay let's backtrack a little bit. I know I've made friends here on LJ before, I think you're still around, if you are say hi! I checked Brigits_Flame and am really glad to see the community still going strong. I think in that part of my life, it was a big help to me.
For those who are interested (mainly probably only future me), hello! I'm Joy. Nice to meet you (again?).
I graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Electrical Engineering in 2014. I've been working full-time since then at a small local engineering company and have been living the life (woo! money!) since then. Things have been going pretty great and moving along. I'm really glad that I was offered this job right after I graduated, since I didn't really have any solid plans after I've graduated. I'm pretty sure my only plan was: keep working at my same old job until I've found a good job. Well, I am certainly very lucky. I also had applied for a Master's degree that same year but was rejected after telling them that I accepted the job offer.
You know, that last paragraph made it seem like the last 1 1/2 years of my life has been pretty awesome. It definitely has but there also has been some downns. Now, I am only saying that because I think looking back at the last ~2 years and then even going back further, I think I have always been Me.
I've recently been struggling a lot with self-identity and where I belong and all that crap. I've also been struggling with making big decisions, trying to become my own person, becoming an Adult, and just life in general. I have been going through the motions (aka going to work, going home, seeing pets, seeing my boyfriend (yes I have a boyfriend! maybe I will blog post about him at some point later), hanging with family, and hanging with friends) but I have always had this nagging feeling that I'm not doing the best that I can. It's still there, really, that feeling that I'm not pushing myself hard enough at work, for family, and I'm missing out on the things I really want to do because I'm always doing something else.
I have to say that since graduating, there has been a significant amount of change in my life and in myself. And at the same time, not enough. Does anybody else get this feeling? I have this tendency to overthink things and because of that I think I also stressed myself out and have developed some anxiety. Generally, I try to stay positive but there are days when I am just sad. It sucks.
So far, this post has proven to be quite a stress reliever. I don't think I've had the chance to really release my personal feelings this way since a very, very long time. I think I will end it here for now. Hopefully, I'll come back and write a little bit more soon.
I went back and read my last BF entry and I seriously got the chills reading it again. I wrote that? Wow. I don't write anymore, I'm focusing on other things now, but deep down I think I'm definitely a creative person at heart. I love art, I love writing, and I love music. All of these things make me really happy. I'm not completely there yet, but I am coming to love the engineering side of me too.
Hello again to everyone! I'm glad to be back.
-Joy