This journal is now "One"
It's now the birthday of this journal. It came sooner than I expected.
I would spend some time meditating on its role in my life and the effect its had on the past year. It's been profound, I think.
But to be honest, I'm too distracted by the rest of life. The -ive-ournal is a hard thing to focus on, I think, because it's become a natural avenue of expression, and to some extent action. Like how my hands move when I type--I don't have awareness of them. Similarly, this journal isn't the object of attention--it's just a trained habit that has become coextensive with the act of thinking. I have always thought in dialogue--even when inside my head externalizing my thoughts by simulating a conversation in which I'm expressing them. Now, often I think in a way framed by the expectation of saying things here.
Terry asked me last night why I do this thing, and I gave several answers, all of them true. But the one he liked the most, and which I'm partial to, is that I feel like there's something valuable in living in a way that I'm accountable and unashamed towards the world, or the people who might read this. Sometimes I fail, and I take some heat, but generally it forces me to stay honest with myself and others.
There's another reason why I keep doing this. It's transformed some of my relationships with people--the friends who read this. Unfortunately, it creates a lot of information assymetry--there are people who I hear from primarily when they comment on my life, but I know much less about theirs. But on the other hand, I feel like I, at least, am being understood, and have been able to talk with many of you about your thoughts on issues that are mutually interesting. So as far as a means of communication with you, I think it's been a success. I wish there were more of it--communication. When I was talking/thinking about politics more, there was a lot of argument that I had a lot of fun with. The Critical Review message board is back up and running--maybe there will be more of that in the future?
There are selfish reasons for this as well. I find that I'm often very flattered by the attention. Who are you all, anonymous readers? How many of you are there? I'm I curious boy.
There is a pattern on this journal: I say that I won't go into something ("But to be honest, I'm too distracted by the rest of life"), and then ramble about it anyway. What does that say about me? Sometime I'm going to look back on this and try to pick out the recurring patterns of this journal. For example, last year around this time I wrote a lot of posts about different theories of truth. Now I'm back--in my head there is this swelling rejection of correspondence theories of truth and an attraction to a broadly "pragmatist" v---
oh shit. Katie just IMed. A car just exploded. I have to go.
I would spend some time meditating on its role in my life and the effect its had on the past year. It's been profound, I think.
But to be honest, I'm too distracted by the rest of life. The -ive-ournal is a hard thing to focus on, I think, because it's become a natural avenue of expression, and to some extent action. Like how my hands move when I type--I don't have awareness of them. Similarly, this journal isn't the object of attention--it's just a trained habit that has become coextensive with the act of thinking. I have always thought in dialogue--even when inside my head externalizing my thoughts by simulating a conversation in which I'm expressing them. Now, often I think in a way framed by the expectation of saying things here.
Terry asked me last night why I do this thing, and I gave several answers, all of them true. But the one he liked the most, and which I'm partial to, is that I feel like there's something valuable in living in a way that I'm accountable and unashamed towards the world, or the people who might read this. Sometimes I fail, and I take some heat, but generally it forces me to stay honest with myself and others.
There's another reason why I keep doing this. It's transformed some of my relationships with people--the friends who read this. Unfortunately, it creates a lot of information assymetry--there are people who I hear from primarily when they comment on my life, but I know much less about theirs. But on the other hand, I feel like I, at least, am being understood, and have been able to talk with many of you about your thoughts on issues that are mutually interesting. So as far as a means of communication with you, I think it's been a success. I wish there were more of it--communication. When I was talking/thinking about politics more, there was a lot of argument that I had a lot of fun with. The Critical Review message board is back up and running--maybe there will be more of that in the future?
There are selfish reasons for this as well. I find that I'm often very flattered by the attention. Who are you all, anonymous readers? How many of you are there? I'm I curious boy.
There is a pattern on this journal: I say that I won't go into something ("But to be honest, I'm too distracted by the rest of life"), and then ramble about it anyway. What does that say about me? Sometime I'm going to look back on this and try to pick out the recurring patterns of this journal. For example, last year around this time I wrote a lot of posts about different theories of truth. Now I'm back--in my head there is this swelling rejection of correspondence theories of truth and an attraction to a broadly "pragmatist" v---
oh shit. Katie just IMed. A car just exploded. I have to go.