(no subject)
[Notes from last night]
There is an aspect of youthful naivete which I have no choice but to shake off now, which is this: some people don't make it. Whatever "it" is. Sometimes its their fault, sometimes its not their fault. But the possibilities of any particular life are limited, and some people run up against those limitations, despite hopes and dreams to the contrary. Some--most--greatly most--wind up in despair or resignation.
Or there are others--and these are a mystery to me--who have been realistic all along. Who never once imagined the impossible for themselves. I think that's far worse, somehow.
I know that all this has sociopolitical implications, or, rather, is implied by a certain sociopolitical situation. For the moment, I just don't care about that. I'm sick of living life burning under a magnifying glass of critical self-consciousness. I was a better man when I was starry-eyed, mathematical, unaware and sober.
There is an aspect of youthful naivete which I have no choice but to shake off now, which is this: some people don't make it. Whatever "it" is. Sometimes its their fault, sometimes its not their fault. But the possibilities of any particular life are limited, and some people run up against those limitations, despite hopes and dreams to the contrary. Some--most--greatly most--wind up in despair or resignation.
Or there are others--and these are a mystery to me--who have been realistic all along. Who never once imagined the impossible for themselves. I think that's far worse, somehow.
I know that all this has sociopolitical implications, or, rather, is implied by a certain sociopolitical situation. For the moment, I just don't care about that. I'm sick of living life burning under a magnifying glass of critical self-consciousness. I was a better man when I was starry-eyed, mathematical, unaware and sober.