Juice
The nutrionist/naturopath we saw the other day suggested it could be a real good idea to spend some money on a juicer.
I do a little research online and understand that of the myriad juicers on the market, there are two prevailing technologies: centrifugal and non-centrifugal, and that all the research pointed to non-centrifugal juicers extracting up to three times the amount of nutrients. Sounds good to me because that's exactly the point of what I'm doing. I'm also expecting to pay a little more for that too, but at this stage, in my mind, they're just a bunch of machines on a shelf in a store and I can't tell the difference between centrifugal and non-centrifugal.
So we pop into a local Harvey Norman's department store servicing the inner Western Suburbs, as you do, when you're on the hunt for a juicer so you can pump as much nutrients into your body as possible while on a chemo regime.We stare folornly at a couple of brands of juicers with me thinking these are all cheap models and my wife thinking she wants to get out of there as soon as possible.
Enter friendly shop assistant. "Can I help?"
"Sure, we're looking for juicers. Can you tell me which ones are centrifugal or non-centrifugal?"
He looks at me and laughs in disbelief, says something I don't catch. He laughs again and I realise he's tried to say "centrifugal" but can't.
"Centrifugal or non-centrifugal. Different types of juicers."
He shakes his head and tries to say "centrifugal" again, then tells me he'll go get the person who knows this part of the store.
He comes back with another friendly shop assistant, both deep in technical conversation.
"Yeah," the new guy explains to his bewildered colleague, "it uses less power to get the same amount."
"No it doesn't," I say, "it gets more nutrients out of the ingredients."
"Yeah," the new guy says, "it uses less power to get more nutrients."
"Which one does?" says Jules.
"Ah, the centrifugal one?" the new guy asks hopefully.
We shake our heads sadly.
"We just have Sunbeam and Breville," he says dejectedly. He tried.
We drive past the Clive Peters and Good Guys and every other fucking department store full of bored people wanting to sell you shit they know nothing about. Not that they openly lie about it. Well, the Clive Peters guys did a few years ago.
It's a good thing it's only my life hanging in the balance here. You think that's being melodramatic? Nup. That's exactly what is at stake here. And a juicer may well help swing that balance. A fucking juicer.
Time to call the juicer specialists.