(no subject)
This past week has been one of the most awful, tiring, depressing, humiliating, and desolate weeks of my life. It is the culmination of my inability to come to terms with some issues that have risen within my family, my faith, my relationships, and my incredible hubris over the concept of Paula as "wonder woman" who can do anything and breezes though pages and pages of scheduling.
I read today in Isaiah that,
" But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40: 31)
and realized that in my blessed life, when I stumble across something that troubles me or saddens me, I turn to everything but God, or not solely God as it should be, but to despair, depression, laziness, partying, physical intimacy, anger, food...and most of all I turn to myself and my pride to the point where I smile even at myself in the mirror as tears stream down my cheeks. I then crack, and apparently that's what it takes for me to be honest with myself and my Lord.
Good lesson, but a hard one.
I'm trying to piece myself together again, and thanks to my beautiful friends and sisters I will get there... but I need some serious time management so don't tempt me with parties or movies or whatever too much! : )
Much love,
Paula
I read today in Isaiah that,
" But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40: 31)
and realized that in my blessed life, when I stumble across something that troubles me or saddens me, I turn to everything but God, or not solely God as it should be, but to despair, depression, laziness, partying, physical intimacy, anger, food...and most of all I turn to myself and my pride to the point where I smile even at myself in the mirror as tears stream down my cheeks. I then crack, and apparently that's what it takes for me to be honest with myself and my Lord.
Good lesson, but a hard one.
I'm trying to piece myself together again, and thanks to my beautiful friends and sisters I will get there... but I need some serious time management so don't tempt me with parties or movies or whatever too much! : )
Much love,
Paula