From the "Oh-crap-did-she-just-say-that?!" files...
So a man and wife walk into the store today and begin to shop. Tony (a guy I work with) was helped them select 2 new pairs of shoes but then the apparel caught the guy's eye. He went over and selected a pair of black shorts and hustled into the dressing room to try them on. He came back out, and one thing was utterly apparent- they were 2 sizes too small. By that, I mean they were so short and tight I wouldn't even wear them, and I've been known to sport some shorts of questionable length. You would think the guy wouldn't have even bothered to step outside and showcase them, but he did. It reminded me of those vaccum sealed bags of coffee at the store. I was going to offer some vaseline or something to help him slide them off, but before I could his wife chimed in, "Honey, are those squishing your package? 'Cause I don't want your package squished." I was standing behind the counter, my eyes must have been huge in disbelief, but nonetheless, she turned and gave me a "His package is my main concern" glance. Unbelievable.