Thank you so much for your kind words! I have kind of been dragged into the evil world of fb. I really don't like fb, and I loved LJ, but it's to the point where I maybe only see maybe half a dozen new posts in a day. Are you on fb? I really don't want to lose you because I really enjoy your responses and posts!
The last couple of weeks have been difficult. My mother in law had a very bad stroke Thursday before last. Her retirement cottage is about an hour and a half from here, so it took us a while to get there. They seemed to think there was some hope for about three days, but then she had another. Basically the last 24 hours of her life she was finally sedated and not struggling. But Saturday afternoon and night was so horrible, Rachel. Her breathing was very gurgly, and it was obvious she was struggling.
Even though her speech had been affected by the stroke (her entire left side was paralzyed), I was able to understand almost everything she said. Saturday afternoon she started the gurgling, and I couldn't really understand but a small handful of words the enitre time we were there. It was Tommy's turn to stay with her overnight, so of course I was there with him. His mom kept trying and trying to tell us something, but we couldn't understand her at all. She kept trying to pull out the tube from her nose to stomach, and the cathaet. She also kept trying to pull her hospital gown off, exposing her genitals and breasts. She was a very modest woman, and I knew that the last thing she would have wanted would be to expose herself like that. The struggling for breath, the inability to communicate, the loss of dignity, her obvious pain and confusion- it was all so horrible. Honestly, Rachel, nobody should ever have to experience or witness such a thing. I especially wish I could take the memory away from my husband, because I could see what it was doing to him.
Sorry about the long story. I hope you don't mind. I think I was really needing someone to listen.
There's a song called "Whereever I lay my hat". Paul Young recorded it in the eighties, but I don't think it was original to him. I really like his version, though, and was just thinking about it yesterday! Funny coincidence! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_a2-Pve4g
The last couple of weeks have been difficult. My mother in law had a very bad stroke Thursday before last. Her retirement cottage is about an hour and a half from here, so it took us a while to get there. They seemed to think there was some hope for about three days, but then she had another. Basically the last 24 hours of her life she was finally sedated and not struggling. But Saturday afternoon and night was so horrible, Rachel. Her breathing was very gurgly, and it was obvious she was struggling.
Even though her speech had been affected by the stroke (her entire left side was paralzyed), I was able to understand almost everything she said. Saturday afternoon she started the gurgling, and I couldn't really understand but a small handful of words the enitre time we were there. It was Tommy's turn to stay with her overnight, so of course I was there with him. His mom kept trying and trying to tell us something, but we couldn't understand her at all. She kept trying to pull out the tube from her nose to stomach, and the cathaet. She also kept trying to pull her hospital gown off, exposing her genitals and breasts. She was a very modest woman, and I knew that the last thing she would have wanted would be to expose herself like that. The struggling for breath, the inability to communicate, the loss of dignity, her obvious pain and confusion- it was all so horrible. Honestly, Rachel, nobody should ever have to experience or witness such a thing. I especially wish I could take the memory away from my husband, because I could see what it was doing to him.
Sorry about the long story. I hope you don't mind. I think I was really needing someone to listen.
There's a song called "Whereever I lay my hat". Paul Young recorded it in the eighties, but I don't think it was original to him. I really like his version, though, and was just thinking about it yesterday! Funny coincidence! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_a2-Pve4g
Anyway, please do let me know if you're on fb!
Reply
Leave a comment