the world is constantly in motion and i am but a small particle in the grand scheme of things
why is it that whenever i try to stick up for myself, be stubborn and get mad i always end up being the most angry with myself... this is some twisted world we live in... god i'm such a failed feminist, i never stick to my guns, but i guess love will do that to you. i just hate being stuck in an argument or disagreement/misunderstanding. i'm always the first to cave, go apologize and make sure everything is properly mended, i can't help but feel bad knowing that maybe i made him feel bad :( but then again perhaps that isn't such a bad trait to have. it's not good to stay mad... and i can never stay mad for very long...but this time i don't think i was really mad per say to begin with, just worried and feeling a general sense of insecurity which can lead to a slight attack of the meanies if you know what i mean. it's so not a cool feeling to be unsure of stuff, whatever it may be, especially for me the perfectionist, OCD person who likes everything planned and under control...even though i have enough rationality to know that plans are not ingraved in stone and you can't control everything! ahhh but at least i can laugh at myself and say oh well good one dorea!