stuff
well, on tuesday night (i think) Joelle and i almost broke up. i wanted to have the same relationship we had before, and i want to feel the say way that i did then. but i dont. and latey it seemed like the majority of the time we were fighting or something stupid was going on. it just didnt seem like a good relationship. and i have felt like this since december. infact, i talked with Joelle about it all in late december and i was surprised that we didnt break up that night just becasue she told me she was feeling the same way. it was weird that it happened this time, casue we were actaully have a good night and we were about to go to sleep and she asked me if i still wanted to be in this relationship, and i couldnt lie and tell her yes, and we just talked about it for like an hour. i just couldnt break it off. i dicided to give the relationship one more chance. i really dont know what that means though... i mean things have gotten a little better. we havent gotten in an arguement which is surprising for us. but how long will this last? i mean how can i be sure that after a while its not just going to go back to the way it was in december? i mean sometimes it just seems like we would make such better friends. sometimes this relationship seems like we arent going out, but just great friends(when we dont fight) i dont know. i dont want to hurt her at all because she is such a great girl and i still care a lot about her. i still love her, but its just not the same and its not as strong...