Slow Time
I absolutely hate my day job. I work at a real estate company, as I've stated in previous posts, where I basically do boring office work all day. If I wanted to be a real estate broker, I'd be in heaven. Unfortunately, being a real estate broker is equivalent to me considering suicide. "If this was my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." - Jim Halpert, The Office. It's funny how much more resonance quotes like that and movies like Fight Club have with me now. Each morning is no longer an optimistic start, it's a pessimistic battle to get my ass out the door. I seriously don' t know how I get up every day, knowing that this place, this job is waiting for me. I want to act, or at least in the mean time have a job where I can be creatively satisfied and work with people my age.
This is the toughest time I've ever had in my life. The problems: no money, no girl, no acting. I make $15 an hour, which sounds decent, but really isn't. I think about every purchase I make, worry about the number of drinks I get at the bar and rarely go out because I don't have the money. Most of the money I spend is to solve problem number 3, going to workshops or copying headshots, etc. It's been two years since I've been on any sort of stage or had a meaningful role in a film - and not for lack of trying!
"Faith without working is useless. I prayed for 20 years & didnt get an answer until I prayed with my legs." - Fredrick Douglas. Escaped slave
That's what kills me about all of these problems: I'm actively trying to fix them! I apply to job postings daily; I go to workshops with casting directors, agents and managers and submit myself for independent projects online; And I head to bars and events to try and meet new girls. Does any of this work? NO! OF COURSE NOT! I pray and I pray and I work and I work. I know I'm not a bad actor. I know I could kill it if I got an opportunity.
Opportunity - that's why I get up every day. The night Katarina gave me her number, I couldn't sleep I was so excited. Last Monday after I got done with a workshop session, same thing. And in the two weeks since then I realize that it was nothing but false hope. Nothing.
This is the toughest time I've ever had in my life. The problems: no money, no girl, no acting. I make $15 an hour, which sounds decent, but really isn't. I think about every purchase I make, worry about the number of drinks I get at the bar and rarely go out because I don't have the money. Most of the money I spend is to solve problem number 3, going to workshops or copying headshots, etc. It's been two years since I've been on any sort of stage or had a meaningful role in a film - and not for lack of trying!
"Faith without working is useless. I prayed for 20 years & didnt get an answer until I prayed with my legs." - Fredrick Douglas. Escaped slave
That's what kills me about all of these problems: I'm actively trying to fix them! I apply to job postings daily; I go to workshops with casting directors, agents and managers and submit myself for independent projects online; And I head to bars and events to try and meet new girls. Does any of this work? NO! OF COURSE NOT! I pray and I pray and I work and I work. I know I'm not a bad actor. I know I could kill it if I got an opportunity.
Opportunity - that's why I get up every day. The night Katarina gave me her number, I couldn't sleep I was so excited. Last Monday after I got done with a workshop session, same thing. And in the two weeks since then I realize that it was nothing but false hope. Nothing.