my own personal super objective

[patrlot]

working in theatre is like constantly being your own shrink. I've come to the conclusion lately that I am a hopeless romantic with dreams of grandeur and hope in people. Unfortunately, when it comes to hope and dreams of grandeur, people always abuse your trust. I love to trust and i love to love. Only, I feel a majority of those who surround me, abuse it. Now, if you're a friend of mine, don't take offense. I might not even be talking about you. If you do take offense, ask yourself why. And majority of the people who take advantage of me are not even friends, but I can name a few "friends" that do. I don't know. I've discovered recently that my Super Objective in life is to please everybody. It always has been, it always will. I bend over backwards for a lot of people and I feel like a lot of times it's reciprocated by a spit in the face. And it's not like these people don't want me to bend over backwards for them, they do. They want me to aid them in their time of need and then when they're recovery is complete, they throw it in my face. That's one case. Another would be the friend that only wants me around when it's convenient for them. Not that I'm coming over friends houses uncalled on or anything. I will do whatever's in my power to help my friends and when they won't do the same...Ahh, fuck it. You know what I mean. I'm tired of being made a fool of. I'm tired of being hurt when my trust is broken and it means nothing to you. I'm tired of being the means by which you grow and not the means in which we grow. I'm tired of being your stepping stone. I'm just tired.

i love.