"They'll Never Understand What Made This Hatred Inside Me Breathe"
Wow this is going to be my second update in a row. I must really be bored. Got a ton of books yesterday and a few I didn't mention in my last post. I'm kinda getting pulled away from "Lies My Teacher Told Me" because of one book I picked up last night called "The South Was Right." I'm sure all my little fellow Yankees would love that book. Other books I picked up: "A Browsers Book Of Texas Quotations", "Texas Bad Boys: Gamblers, Gun Fighters, And Grifters", "Spirits Of The Alamo", "The Complete Civil War", "The Commanders Of The Civil War", "The Battlefields Of The Civil War" and "IBM And The Holocaust: The Strategic Alliance Between Nazi Germany And America's Most Powerful Corporation". I have a ton of reading to do and now with all the free time I have, I'll be sure to have my head in the books instead of wasting my free time away on the computer.
I've honestly felt myself slipping back into my old habits of not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. I've had a series of bad panic attacks this past week that have driven me up the fuckin' wall. I don't want to start resorting to my medication when I can handle this myself. I've considered therapy again, but having to get to know a new therapist and going through my whole life with them...no thanks. It's another bill I don't want. If I don't snap out of it soon, I'll do what I need to do no matter what.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I'm hoping it isn't too bad. I don't want to be in a shitty mood because of yet another crummy b-day. I figured this year it would be full of friends, but it doesn't seem to be that way. You wouldn't believe how pissed off I am about that. Nett and me talked about going to some place with like go-carts, put put, and all that fun stuff. Hopefully the forecast changes for my sake. Nothing is really going on tomorrow except for this show in Tulsa. I really don't feel like wasting a day in Tulsa with a bunch of punks I don't necessarily know or care to know. My brother is going out of town with his GF as well, so I'm a tad upset about that. Something better go fuckin' right or I'll raise some fuckin' hell.
I think that's enough of an update. I feel like I've typed too much.
I've honestly felt myself slipping back into my old habits of not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. I've had a series of bad panic attacks this past week that have driven me up the fuckin' wall. I don't want to start resorting to my medication when I can handle this myself. I've considered therapy again, but having to get to know a new therapist and going through my whole life with them...no thanks. It's another bill I don't want. If I don't snap out of it soon, I'll do what I need to do no matter what.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I'm hoping it isn't too bad. I don't want to be in a shitty mood because of yet another crummy b-day. I figured this year it would be full of friends, but it doesn't seem to be that way. You wouldn't believe how pissed off I am about that. Nett and me talked about going to some place with like go-carts, put put, and all that fun stuff. Hopefully the forecast changes for my sake. Nothing is really going on tomorrow except for this show in Tulsa. I really don't feel like wasting a day in Tulsa with a bunch of punks I don't necessarily know or care to know. My brother is going out of town with his GF as well, so I'm a tad upset about that. Something better go fuckin' right or I'll raise some fuckin' hell.
I think that's enough of an update. I feel like I've typed too much.