Meaningless
Meaningless - A song drabble
Meaningless?
You mean it's all been meaningless?
Every whisper and caress?
Yes, yes, yes, it was totally meaningless
You’ve seen this scene before, only closer by. You’ve told yourself you don’t miss it. You’ve told yourself a lot of things, but most of all you’ve told yourself not to think of it. Because when you do, you think of the touches you know you would have received, and the smile you would have got, the mischievous eyes that would look at you and the hands that would reach out, the warmth, the want, his ice-cold nose against yours…
Meaningless
like when two fireflies fluoresce
Just like everything I guess
Less less yes, it was utterly meaningless
You’ve told yourself you don’t miss it, but you do. You miss it a great deal. It hurts and you don’t like the feeling. You would never do it any other way, you don’t regret what you have done. But what you wouldn’t give for one more moment there, with him, instead of here, watching him from the shadows, like a racy old man, like a sad spy.
Even less
a little glimpse of nothingness
sucking meaning from the
rest of this mess
Yes yes yes it was thoroughly meaningless
He’s beautiful, and you recall the day he wore the three-piece English suit. No man ever wore it better. He knew it. He knew it that day and he knew it the few other times he wore it - more private times - a present waiting to be unwrapped.
The scene you were contemplating is disrupted and your smile (yes, you were smiling) vanishes. The Idiot arrived.
In all honesty he probably doesn’t deserve the title, but you never cared for honesty and are content enough to call him the Idiot.
And if some dim bulb should say
we were in love in some way
kick all his teeth in for me
and if you feel like keeping on kicking,
feel free
He smiles to the Idiot. It’s that very same smile you saw in Pittsburgh. You’d smile at it, but the corners of your mouth are set to a low point and refuse to co-operate. It should be alright to see him happy. This is what you did it for. This is what’s best. This is what you lost him for. This. This Idiot. You knew beforehand. This was the plan from the start. So now that he is happy, so are you.
Meaningless
Who dare say it wasn't meaningless?
Shout from the rooftops
and address the press
Ha ha ha, it was totally meaningless
That what shouldn’t be, shouldn’t be. No use dwelling.
Meaningless
Meaning less than a game of chess
Just like your mother said
and mother knows best
I knew it all the time but now I confess
Yes yes yes how deliciously meaningless
Yes yes yes effervescently meaningless
Yes yes yes it was beautifully meaningless
Yes yes yes it was profoundly meaningless
Yes yes yes definatively meaningless
Yes yes yes comprehensively meaningless
Yes yes yes magnificently meaningless
Yes yes yes how incredibly meaningless
Yes yes yes unprecedentedly meaningless
Yes yes yes how mind-blowingly meaningless
Yes yes yes how unbelievably meaningless
Yes yes yes how infinitely meaningless
But you are dwelling and you know it. Not a day goes by that you wake up far too cold, turning in your bed to no one and feeling only the breath of the wind against your skin. Not a day goes by that you want to rush over and say ‘look, all in good fun, let’s forget about what happened and continue the way we were’. It may have been ridiculous, it may have been silly, it may not have been very happy, but it felt nice.
Of course, it’s not on. And so you light the fourth cigarette since you’ve taken this position and simply watch Michael having fun in the snow. With the Idiot. But as you continue watching, the Idiot disappears to the background. Quite soon you are left with the view of a very happy Michael and the smile returns to your face.
You love him; you can’t touch him anymore.
(Lyrics by the Magnetic Fields)