friends...
I went to church today and I got to see caroline!!! I was afraid she couldn’t come but she kept calling my cell than I got in the church n’ we talked on the phone… her dad wasn’t home he was supposed to be home n’ it turns out he wasn’t… so I was like omg! Shes’ gotta come!! So I ask jenn n’ matt n’ there like yeah matt said I’ll pick her up so im like YEAH!!!!! Thanks matt, because matt was able to get her and that she could come to church… we went bout halfway out to linebaugh and than jenn gotta call on her cell that said turn around… her dads home… jenn accidently hung up on her and was like crap! So she was like I gotta call her back… she called her and confirmed that she was coming to church… caroline got a ride w/ her dad… and I was waiting back at the church in the powerhouse for her… than jenn’s cellphone rings and caroline is there and she says where are you… and caroline says in powerhouse… so they hang up.. .im thinking to myself any moment the girl that means the world to me is gonna bust through theese doors… LOL aka the front door lol… I see a girl walking up and im like YEAH!!! Shes’ here n’ I get all excited but than they open the door n’ its another girl… im like umm… what just happened I thought that was supposed to be caroline walkin thru the doors…. But turns out like a minute later I see someone walking up to the door and its caroline im like YEAHHHHH!!! She comes in n’ she gives me a hug n’ says hey to everyone… than in her hand she has pictures from costa rica… she puts em in the room and scatters em on the table n’ says look… im like This girl is like woah!!!! LoL cuz I seen the pictures.. n’ some of em like shes hangin thru the forrest on a zipline… I got to look thru em… n’ I was tempted to take one… lol but I didn’t… she made a pile that I could look at and a pile that I couldn’t look at… so I checked out the pictures she handed me and I saw this kid that she was with in a whole bunch of pictures I was like awww.. she’s like all over this kid… I bet he feels loved n’ all… I LOVE CAROLINE!!! No matter what happens… I don’t care if someone puts a gun to my head and says u cant have feelings for this girl or else your gonna die right now n’ if u do later on your gonna die… I’d be like u kno what than just shoot me now… because im never gonna lose feelings for this girl its physically, mentally, thinkably, thuoghtfully impossible… I got to a point where its like… this girl shes’ my “superhero girl”… she rescues me from everything… she’ll save me from the worst n’ put me in the best… when im with her… that’s how it is… whenever im w/ her im just like happy I could have the worst day of my life… n’ think that theres no way that my day could get any worse… n’ if I had caroline just show up for 2 seconds it wouldn’t even be close to the worstest day of my life cuz I had those moments w/ someone I love… she came n’ freed me from everything…. But anyway after were checking out the pictures were like youth is starting up so we went in and sat down… n’ chek this out… CAROLINE WALKS IN WITH A FULL GALLON OR FULL BOTTLE that’s humongous of JUICE!!! Like brand new… she says im’ gonna drink this whole thing by the end of the night im thinking…. RiGHT!!! LoL I had no idea she would really lol… by the end of youth she has like half left in there n’ she starts chuggin n’ im like no way!! Lol she’s not gonna get it all down lol im like anymoment now she’ll stop it turns out nope she doesn’t quit n’ she chugs the rest im like !!!!!??? its all gone???? Lol shes’ like yep! I love her! I love her!! I love her!!!!! LoL but were in youth n’ she sick kinda n’ I was feeling so bad… you kno… I hate to see her be sick… I want her to be healthy and feel good… not sick n’ feeling bad… cuz she don’t need to feel bad if anyone needs to feel bad its me… I deserve it…. I don’t care if I catch a cold from her tho cuz if u think about it its like a rememberance thing everytime u cough u can be like COUGH n’ have that thought it bak of your head CAROLINE!! I love u u kno…. Its not so bad if u look at it like that… even tho I might get sick it’s a good sick… lol but after youth we walked outside… n’ caroline had to break up w/ her friends n’ I couldn’t be in the picture n’ it happened like 2-3 times that night where I couldn’t be there n’ I can kinda tell somehthing was coming…so I took a walk around the parking lot… so I would get it out of me… cuz I kinda could figure out what it was kind of… n’ I didn’t wanna be like down in front of her I tried to make it still fun kinda.. when she told me about it… cuz I don’t wanna be like the person whos like draggin cuz of it you kno… I can do that on my own time.. but not in front of ppl… especially caroline… she told me that she really really really loves me and that she always will no matter what happens in this world.. like that I mean so much to her n’ that she wants to grow old w/ me and get wrinkles together n’ get married n’ be together forever but she said… u kno… we need to separate tho… just until her birthday… JUNE 11th 2004…. It feels like forever now but I don’t know it may feel forever now but the next thing u know we’d prob be together n’ growing old lol… time will fly but it will go slow… day by day would come n’ every new day would bring me closer to caroline… I TRULY LOVE HER!!! She says that were gonna be friends… but the bestest of friends you know like she’d be there whenever n’ we can still do stuff together n’ kiss n’ hug but its not gonna be the same because were not gonna be labeled boyfriend // girlfriend… and were not gonna be the same way we were before… less communicaton n’ it has to be that way.. because her dad found out… about us… and he had a phone bill that was nearly 300.00 that in the future, it’ll be paid back… lol he doesn’t know it but he’s prob gonna be like my father in law sometime… lol mayb… I really do like caroline n’ I do wanna build a relationship w/ her father n’ her family because I don’t feel like I should be hiding stuff from them… I never thought we should, but it had to be done… because if not than we would of never probably ever started goin out.. n’ the time that we were goin out were so special to me lol our first date lol at citrus park mall lol…. The horses we rode on together… lol pacsun dancin in the store… goin in the picture booth… that was out of order.. lol…the movies…. Jumpin like movie to move lol…. The back of the truck in the middle of the mall, the part where u pull the hatch down n’ u just sit on it and we just were sittin on it when everybodies lookin at us… walkin by carolines uncle as we hold hands… lol FYE the music store where we saw popeye.. and george busch n’ all those famous ppl cardboard cutouts…just the day… it was great… than we came out late n’ were like crap!! LoL were 30 mins late….!!! But it was worth it…. After she told me that we couldn’t be together I was like ? u kno I had so many thoughts running thru my mind… she took me in the church by the bathrooms… n’ she put her chain on me and it had her promise ring on it and a cross.. she told me that she will be faithful to me… and I believe she will...I just have to pray that we will stay together...….SHE REaLLY DOES" mean alot to ME... she gave me this promise ring and this necklace with this cross on it that means a lot to her… shes’ always talkin bout what it means… the ring represents waiting on sex until marriage... because marriage should be clean and pure... and when you marry somebody you should give them your 100% not 80% or 50% u give the person your with your all... n' u cant do that if ur sleeping around before marriage... so it is a big thing for us... n' its important... because that is gods' plan for all of us...if it is gods plan for us to stay together n' get married than the waiting will be worth it because it'll be 10x better than...so the ring is a reminder of a commitment to god... but anyway I had to say good bye because we had to leave… n;’ caroline walks me to matts truck I get in… n’ we leave… I kinda tell matt how I feel.. because matts my bro I thnk I can tell him about anything… well were half down the road and matt says….. joe it could be a april fools joke n’ Im like….OMG!! tru!!!but if it is than shes’’ getting me pretty good…loli still don’t know if it is or if it isnt… well I texted caroline… shes spendin the night at jenns’ tonight… so I texted jenns phone.. a bunch and thought it over and realized that I was getting upset about stuff I shouldn’t be getting down about… so I texted her back again… and we talked some more…on the phone I LOVE CaROLiNE we had a good conversation for like 90 mins which isnt bad lol for friends…I woke up this morning and got ready for school and caroline called me again on jenns phone and I talked to her b4 she had to go… well im in school now im finishing up this journal I saved it to a disk and am finishing it up right now in first period… but today now Is APRIL 1st 2004 well I have to get ready for another class… 2nd period Spanish coming up…im done for now… I’ll write later…… I LOVE MY SUPERHERO GiRL! A.K.A caroline…