THIS BLOG RATED MILK TOAST WITH CINNAMON
I picked up the Cuss-o-Meter above from James Ishmael Ford’s usually quite heady blog Monekey Mind. He registered a nearly pure-as-the-driven snow .5% of pages on his journal containing cuss words. But wait, Miss Kitty’s Saloon and Road Show , one of my favorite sites, got a rating of .2%. Another Unitarian Universalist bloger, Celestial Lands split the difference with .4%
You will note that I got a 4.3%, which, I guess, makes me a virtual potty-mouth among identified U.U. web scribes. I was feeling pretty low about this until I noted that the sponsors of the Cuss-o-Meter reported that my site contains fewer curse words than 98% of all blogs rated.
Wait a minute! That can’t be me. My family and loved ones will note that I have an active vocabulary that, while not as eloquent as Mark Twain or Norman Mailer, is none the less prodigious. No spilt milk, stubbed toe, or minor inconvenience escapes certain specific, tangy invocations. No Christmas would be complete at my house without the famous “Festival of Dad Cussing on the Front Porch” as I try to put a fresh cut on the bottom of the Christmas tree and jam it into the tree stand in a more or less vertical position.
Is it possible my blog is untrue to my inner vulgarian? Should I be ashamed or proud?
It is unclear what constitutes a cuss word. I suppose it includeS any or all of George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television . How about hell and damn-words that once carried a great religious taboo, but are now usually considered mild? Or the sniggering body function and mild sexual innuendo terms that have become common on the air and even in “family newspapers” like “suck,” “blow,” “fart.?” I don’t suppose the old fashioned euphemisms are included-“darn,” “dagnapit,” “egad,” “S.O.B.” are included. But who the fuck knows?