On chivalry
I was reading Fernwithy's excellent Hunger Games fanfiction, The End of the World, which tells the story of Haymitch's Games, and as she so often does, Fernwithy prompted thinky in the comments.
Whither chivalry - if anywhere?
When the Titanic sank in 1912, these people survived:
As you can see, third class women had better odds than first class men. Whatever the hypocrisies of the Edwardian era, they were not fucking around about chivalry.
I'm pretty well convinced 1912's "Women and children first" policy is incompatible with strict gender equality. To declare women's physical safety more important than men's is obviously discriminatory. To class women with children is to invite all kinds of other paternalism (and I hate paternalism like I hate strep throat.)
But am I the only one with an irrational and crazy-strong emotional attachment to chivalry? Men who protect women are just sexy, and that's reflected in my favorite characters. Peeta Mellark is adorably awesome, and he's got courtly love going on. Malcolm Reynolds fights a duel to defend a woman's honor. Dean Winchester tries to die for everybody, but there's that extra protectiveness for, say, rookie Jo Harvelle, doe-eyed Nancy Fitzgerald, or sweet Anna Milton.
This is reflected in the men in my life, too. My cousin has punched his friends in defense of my honor. My brother kills the creepy-crawlies in our apartment. On sidewalks my male friends habitually keep themselves between me and the street.
On the road, if my boyfriend slams on the brakes, he splays a hand across my ribs as if he's going to do a better job than the seat belt. I once told him about a friend who was the victim of a crime, and while I was crying for her, his response was, "I'll never let that happen to you." Quixotic or not, he feels responsible for my safety.
Even in a gender equal society, Fernwithy said over on her journal, "there are some men [chivalry] simply would never be bred out of (all the social change in the world doesn't change the biological imperative of "women can have men's babies after men are dead, but not vice-versa" after all)." But I think the persistence of men's protective instincts really complicates gender equality. "Women and children first" neatly encapsulates why.
I can't really enjoy my equal rights cake and first dibs on lifeboats for dessert.
Can this circle be squared?
Whither chivalry - if anywhere?
When the Titanic sank in 1912, these people survived:
As you can see, third class women had better odds than first class men. Whatever the hypocrisies of the Edwardian era, they were not fucking around about chivalry.
I'm pretty well convinced 1912's "Women and children first" policy is incompatible with strict gender equality. To declare women's physical safety more important than men's is obviously discriminatory. To class women with children is to invite all kinds of other paternalism (and I hate paternalism like I hate strep throat.)
But am I the only one with an irrational and crazy-strong emotional attachment to chivalry? Men who protect women are just sexy, and that's reflected in my favorite characters. Peeta Mellark is adorably awesome, and he's got courtly love going on. Malcolm Reynolds fights a duel to defend a woman's honor. Dean Winchester tries to die for everybody, but there's that extra protectiveness for, say, rookie Jo Harvelle, doe-eyed Nancy Fitzgerald, or sweet Anna Milton.
This is reflected in the men in my life, too. My cousin has punched his friends in defense of my honor. My brother kills the creepy-crawlies in our apartment. On sidewalks my male friends habitually keep themselves between me and the street.
On the road, if my boyfriend slams on the brakes, he splays a hand across my ribs as if he's going to do a better job than the seat belt. I once told him about a friend who was the victim of a crime, and while I was crying for her, his response was, "I'll never let that happen to you." Quixotic or not, he feels responsible for my safety.
Even in a gender equal society, Fernwithy said over on her journal, "there are some men [chivalry] simply would never be bred out of (all the social change in the world doesn't change the biological imperative of "women can have men's babies after men are dead, but not vice-versa" after all)." But I think the persistence of men's protective instincts really complicates gender equality. "Women and children first" neatly encapsulates why.
I can't really enjoy my equal rights cake and first dibs on lifeboats for dessert.
Can this circle be squared?