Things on my Mind
Ok...been awhile...
Latest things on my mind
why I entertained an Ex with Girl Problems...only to have him ignore me when I needed help
Why my boyfriend thinks things are moving too fast...when im the one just living day to day
Why I cant seem to get up for school on time
What is going to happen to my dog..shes old and we are facing the choice of putting her down or not
Why everytime my mother speaks I get a spitting head ache
What is it about females that makes me either love or hate them
I still have Xmas shopping to do, no money to do it with
Credit card payments
Loan payments
Saving up for a Blackberry
I just cant seem to win lately. Everything just is a little off. I think I am going to go into one of those modes where I am invisble again and just move like a breeze that keeps everything cool on a hot day. Nice to have around but not nessecary, becasue you can always go inside where the AC does it for you.
The fact that no one seesm to need me right now is un-nerving. But also very freeing. I can do what I want when I want to. But there's no real reason. Bc I only do "things" to get things done. and to just do things to, do them is a waste of my resources.
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Giving up Jon's ghost wasnt as hard as I thought it would be. I remember back in may when I thought I'd never be rid of the pain but it seems to just evaporated. Not that I wanted him back, bc I had my closure it was done. but if you can try to understand that I was over him...but not what he did until recently. Now I kinda just dont care. I try to remember my last year and Cant seem to recall details. I forget waht sex with him was like or what his voice sounds like. Kinda weird to have all these faded memories and I just dont know where to place him. Makes me think that it was wrong all to begin with.
However without the hurtful and nail biting experiences I had with Jon I wouldnt be here now. I wouldnt have Cris I wouldnt have school I wouldnt have a job. He did push me but in a way that hurt and made me unsure. I was so convince that I was the adult and looking back now I really had no clue. Jsut as I am sure a year from now I will have no clue.
Just wish I had a place for the memories so that it didnt sting when I pushed them out like splinters in the bottom of your foot taht you got while walking around a pool deck without sandals. They sting and irritate then eventually work themselves out and leave a scar. But after they are gone they simply lay there and disentgrate.
i really wish that all made sense but it doesnt. O well
Happy Pisces Moon to all...ride the wave
Latest things on my mind
why I entertained an Ex with Girl Problems...only to have him ignore me when I needed help
Why my boyfriend thinks things are moving too fast...when im the one just living day to day
Why I cant seem to get up for school on time
What is going to happen to my dog..shes old and we are facing the choice of putting her down or not
Why everytime my mother speaks I get a spitting head ache
What is it about females that makes me either love or hate them
I still have Xmas shopping to do, no money to do it with
Credit card payments
Loan payments
Saving up for a Blackberry
I just cant seem to win lately. Everything just is a little off. I think I am going to go into one of those modes where I am invisble again and just move like a breeze that keeps everything cool on a hot day. Nice to have around but not nessecary, becasue you can always go inside where the AC does it for you.
The fact that no one seesm to need me right now is un-nerving. But also very freeing. I can do what I want when I want to. But there's no real reason. Bc I only do "things" to get things done. and to just do things to, do them is a waste of my resources.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Giving up Jon's ghost wasnt as hard as I thought it would be. I remember back in may when I thought I'd never be rid of the pain but it seems to just evaporated. Not that I wanted him back, bc I had my closure it was done. but if you can try to understand that I was over him...but not what he did until recently. Now I kinda just dont care. I try to remember my last year and Cant seem to recall details. I forget waht sex with him was like or what his voice sounds like. Kinda weird to have all these faded memories and I just dont know where to place him. Makes me think that it was wrong all to begin with.
However without the hurtful and nail biting experiences I had with Jon I wouldnt be here now. I wouldnt have Cris I wouldnt have school I wouldnt have a job. He did push me but in a way that hurt and made me unsure. I was so convince that I was the adult and looking back now I really had no clue. Jsut as I am sure a year from now I will have no clue.
Just wish I had a place for the memories so that it didnt sting when I pushed them out like splinters in the bottom of your foot taht you got while walking around a pool deck without sandals. They sting and irritate then eventually work themselves out and leave a scar. But after they are gone they simply lay there and disentgrate.
i really wish that all made sense but it doesnt. O well
Happy Pisces Moon to all...ride the wave