(no subject)

[pathseeker]

Last night, it almost all came to a head. Something is wrong and I'm going against my destiny again. I know I am, because of all of this building angst in me. I tried to dance it off, but it was still there and I couldn't sleep. So, I slipped on my shoes and ran. I kept running even when my calves began to threaten to cramp. Eventually, I stopped running and walked through the night. Why, I remember the moon so clearly and I remember its crescent shape, hanging in the sky, almost like it was mocking me. I cried up to the stars asking what it wanted of me, but there was no answer. Seeking an answer through the world and not through others can be so elusive. I know I'm doing something wrong, but I'm not sure what. This is something I don't ask of others but something I ask of the world, of nature, or myself and especially of God. What do I do now? I hope that if I keep looking, I'll find the path I had that sometimes seems like a shade I'm chasing. But, I know that once I become established in this path, it will be so worth it.

I was listening to some songs and I wonder if my one mistake is that I'm running away. This elusive path isn't running away. It can't be running away. I'm running toward something, I know I am.