(no subject)
Well, Friday, November 3rd my mother was released from the hospital. She had to have surgery and I wasn't able to post all of that stuff mainly because I was just so worried about her. My overactive imagination mused at what would become of me if she passed. Right now, it feels like she's one of the few people I can really count on to be there for me. I mean, most of anyone else close to me; I'd be there for them in a minute, but they aren't or can't be as much there for me. Perhaps this is just how I feel at times and perhaps it's just an irrational emotion. But, often, I guess I feel pretty much alone in the world and I think I'd feel utterly alone without my mother. But she's okay now and I'm doing everything I can to make her recovery time a good one. Friday evening I made some fettucini alfredo with shrimp and Normandy mixed vegetables for her. She didn't eat much, but what she did eat, she said she liked. I really enjoy cooking for her. It's strange how even though I seem to be under alot of stress caring for my mother; I feel more fulfilled. I suppose I'm learning that once you take the focus from yourself and onto others, things feel much better for you. Life becomes more livable when you're not focused on the pain of your personal existence and work toward alleviating the pain of someone close to you. I guess that's what it's really about. Maybe that's how the most selfish of individuals can learn to be selfless is that through the act of giving you receive so much.