Far from pitying you, I think you have a lot of courage. You looked at your situation, and chose to do something about it. it was never an easy choice and you met a lot of resistance, but you did what you needed to do, even so.
Reaching out is challenging, and yes, it can feel awkward. So stack the deck in your favor by doing more of it at cons and other places where you are welcomed. Right here on LJ is a place where you are welcomed too.
As to betting everything - you like the city and your job. You love your mate. That's three good solid wins there, amiga. Feeling like it's losing everything is the blues talking, and it's not giving you the big picture. Do you have a full spectrum lamp? If no, get one and literally sit in its light - it can really make a difference in how you feel.
Give gentle nurturance to yourself, until you feel ready to try reaching out a bit more. Then start with someone you know already likes you and spend more time with them. Stack the deck in favor of success for a while - it's OK to do that. Help yourself gain confidence a step at a time.
May you find the light and walk comfortably in it, Peg
Reaching out is challenging, and yes, it can feel awkward. So stack the deck in your favor by doing more of it at cons and other places where you are welcomed. Right here on LJ is a place where you are welcomed too.
As to betting everything - you like the city and your job. You love your mate. That's three good solid wins there, amiga. Feeling like it's losing everything is the blues talking, and it's not giving you the big picture. Do you have a full spectrum lamp? If no, get one and literally sit in its light - it can really make a difference in how you feel.
Give gentle nurturance to yourself, until you feel ready to try reaching out a bit more. Then start
with someone you know already likes you and spend more time with them. Stack the deck in favor of success for a while - it's OK to do that. Help yourself gain confidence a step at a time.
May you find the light and walk comfortably in it, Peg
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