i don't think i care anymore.

[pathetic_gurl]

so i'm getting my jeep. i am excited and nervous at the same time. its more money. but hey its only money.
i am now going to need to save money. thats a joke. but its something that i have to do.
i am nervous about not having enough money when/if i go to school in florida.
i am clueless about a lot of things right now.
i am worried about the rest of my life.
it feels like everything is based around me choosing something.
i feel like something is missing.
its not my beige bra, because that was found.
something that i just can't put my finger on.
i feel like what i'm looking for might involve me getting away from here.
but i'm not a believer in running away from your problems.
and i am usually perfectly content for settling with what i have.
i tend to believe that if your somewhat happy, you should just settle.
if you give up the happiness that you do have, in search of something better, or something that will make you more happy,
what do you do when what you had is gone, and you're left with a feeling of not being happy.
i think that if you keep searching for something better, you're never going to be happy with what you have, or had for that matter.
so if i go away, and i'm still not happy. what do i do?
and why is it that i am wanted, but i feel so unwanted. is that possible?
maybe i feel unwanted because i enjoy being alone sometimes.
or because i give you the choice, and other things get chosen.

so i have to be to work in an hour or so.
i'm pretty much over it.
but i highly doubt it.