Just another weekend.. Just another misreable day..
:: sigh ::
Lately..
been down in the dumps my friends. (though there aren't to many friends that i have)I'm normally, a sane guy, maybe i could be described as caring, compassionate, you know, like such.. but theres one thing that i can't do. Which is explain how i feel, or talk about my feelings to anyone. Well..i can talk about them... but only to Lisa. I feel like i burden here with them sometimes.. and then sometimes i expect her to know what to say. In most cases she does. but certain cases..i dunno.. thers nothing TO say.. but she says what she can..
It suck though. not knowing what to do.. finding comfort in all the wrong places..I swore i wouldn't drink so its nothing like that.. just talking to some not so bright people and listening to some not so bright music.. I guess i can say what i do feel..
I feel empty. and like.. im being drained.. slowly... like everythings so lifeless.. im really starting to depend on happiness from others and.. i dunno..
Im afraid, since most of them don't know, they'll think im trying to use them.. which in a sesne i am.. but only to make myself smile.. Lisa makes me smile.. and im afraid soon enough i'll feel like shes my own and that no one can have her.. I'll be possesive of everything that makes me happy and want to keep it to myself...
Sucks being sad and vulnerable.. and i'd never want to hold Lisa back like that.. or go venture out trying to find someone to give me happiness..i.e. gideon...its just that easy to loose my will.. i'm really vulnerable right now.. i think im going to go sleep..
Lately..
been down in the dumps my friends. (though there aren't to many friends that i have)I'm normally, a sane guy, maybe i could be described as caring, compassionate, you know, like such.. but theres one thing that i can't do. Which is explain how i feel, or talk about my feelings to anyone. Well..i can talk about them... but only to Lisa. I feel like i burden here with them sometimes.. and then sometimes i expect her to know what to say. In most cases she does. but certain cases..i dunno.. thers nothing TO say.. but she says what she can..
It suck though. not knowing what to do.. finding comfort in all the wrong places..I swore i wouldn't drink so its nothing like that.. just talking to some not so bright people and listening to some not so bright music.. I guess i can say what i do feel..
I feel empty. and like.. im being drained.. slowly... like everythings so lifeless.. im really starting to depend on happiness from others and.. i dunno..
Im afraid, since most of them don't know, they'll think im trying to use them.. which in a sesne i am.. but only to make myself smile.. Lisa makes me smile.. and im afraid soon enough i'll feel like shes my own and that no one can have her.. I'll be possesive of everything that makes me happy and want to keep it to myself...
Sucks being sad and vulnerable.. and i'd never want to hold Lisa back like that.. or go venture out trying to find someone to give me happiness..i.e. gideon...its just that easy to loose my will.. i'm really vulnerable right now.. i think im going to go sleep..