Catching Fire 1
Fandom : Glee
Pairing: Klaine minor :Everett & Kurt, Seblaine
Rating: M- later on, but right now ...hmm T?
Warning: Self-harm
Summary: Blaine and his twin Everett are both in love with Kurt. He isn´t even aware of that. While Blaine tries to avoid his feelings for his brothers sake, Everett isn´t one to reveal his feelings very often. But when Everett is on the brink of dead, he only wants one thing: Kurt.
A/N: Not even sure if this how you are supposed to write ff´s on here, but I hope it is. On ff I´m: Enchantedtoreadyou- if maybe some of you know me...well uhm. Yeah :D
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Age: 10
“Catch me if you can dwarf!” Kurt yelled, already taking off. Blaine watched as the red coat fluttered behind the running boy, whose laughter echoed through the field behind his yard. He couldn´t believe this younger boy, calling him dwarf when they were the exact same height. His mind didn´t dwell on that thought though as he darted after Kurt. The corn had turned dry during the summer and was now a little higher than the boys playing catch in it. Now and then Blaine paused to search for a glimmer of red through the corn that shone golden, illuminated by the setting autumn sun. Just as he spotted Kurt, his feet dragged him in his direction.
“You are never going to catch me Blaine!” He heard a voice behind him. He turned around, running aimlessly through the field, corn scratching every spot of bare skin, but he simply didn´t care.
“If I find you, I will so beat you up Kurt.”
When he saw flickers of red again, he tried to run even faster, his feet sinking into the dry soil now and then, but he caught himself whenever he slipped. The nearer he git, the more of the coat he could see as the denseness of the corn grew less. White puffs of air left his open mouth. Blaine reached out his hand when he finally was near enough to grab Kurt. His small fingers curled around the red fabric of the coat and he pulled.
“Gottcha!” He screamed.
“No, I got you!”
Before he could brace himself, something launched itself on his back, tangling around his neck until he felt the weird feeling of his throat being pushed in too hard and then he fell. Booth of them screamed, Blaine almost inaudible because of Kurt’s arms successfully suffocating him and Kurt high pitched as he was crushed under the other boys weight. Lying on the ground he could see the light blue sky that was only disturbed by some corn. It almost seemed peaceful, if it weren´t for the yelps piercing the evening and the struggling creature under his body.
“Blaine, get up you pig!” Blaine chuckled trying to make himself even heavier by leaning back. Warm breath tingled the skin on his neck and moved the strands that had escaped his basecap.
“No-uh. You deceived me and called me names. What would your mother say if she knew her little girl used nasty words?” He replied. Kurt struggled even more, frail hands shoving on the boy laying on top of him. Meanwhile Blaine eyed the coat in his hands that he realized had been used as bait. Damn, Kurt was smarter than he had assumed, he thought with a sour expression.
“I´ll tell your Mom you called me a girl again!”
“Only girls tattle!” replied Blaine.
As Kurt pinched him through the thick jacket and the pain seeped in, he got up. But right before Kurt could sit up, Blaine pinned him down into the soil again, grabbing his wrists before he could be hurt. He straddled the boy, settling on the slim hips.
“What is it now? Want to beat me up like you promised. I really tell Mummy if you do that you ugly pig!” Kurt yelled, tears shining in his eyes. The loud voice and the words startled Blaine. He had threatened more than once to beat him up, but never gone through with it. Yes, he liked teasing the smaller boy but that was it.
“Maybe I will, crybaby.”
Just when he let loose of the wrist to scare the boy with a raised fist, Kurt’s free hand grabbed for his hair and pulled. A hiss escaped his lips and he used his other hand to try to pry the other away from his hair.
Both struggled for a while, Kurt digging his nails into Blaine´s skin and pulling harshly on the curls now uncovered from the protecting basecap. The irritation grew in both bodies, filling them and making them want to hurt the other even more.
“Break it up! That´s the girliest fight I´ve ever seen.” A voice said and Blaine didn´t need to look to know who it was. It was written all over Kurt’s blushed cheeks. At the same time Kurt pulled his hands away as if he had been burnt by Blaine’s hair and lowered his eyes.
“So you like to pick on smaller boys now Blaine? How manly. Come on get your heavy body up from him!” Everett commented.
From the corner of his eyes Blaine watched as his brothers hands picked up his basecap and put it on. He looked at the boy now wearing his basecap and wondered if they really did look alike. People often told them that. But standing in front of him, Blaine didn´t feel like he was looking in the mirror. No, they weren´t really alike, not when it came to the inside. However Everett acted now, Blaine knew his nasty sides. The boy now trying to help Kurt with damage control for his clothes wasn´t what he was used to.
“Hey, wanna see the haunted house I found back in the woods?” Blaine asked, trying to get any attention from the boys now engaged in a whispered conversation. He watched as Everett’s hands, that were known to play with lighters and start fistfights, lingered on the red coat he carefully had draped around Kurt’s shoulders.
“Haunted house?” Blue eyes looked at him in shock and he regretted asking that question. Of course Kurt would be afraid. His Mom had once told him that boys like Kurt were rare and that he shouldn´t make fun of him. Still he just wanted to have his attention and if teasing and fights would provide him with that, he would continue calling Kurt names.
“Dad said I should come and get you for dinner. Kurt´s parents are there as well and wait for his return. But you could go on alone.” He heard his twin say, his face hidden by the shadow the basecap cast.
“Weren´t you the one who wanted to go to the haunted house right when you heard about it? Your jerk-friend Dave said something about easily burning wood. Just what you like, right?”
Kurt gasped, at what he didn´t know. Without seeing it, he knew Everett would glare at him. It was an open secret that his brother liked to play with fire since he had be caught causing the fire in a garbage can. Practically just going outside to get them was very gracious of their parents, as he was grounded for three weeks.
“I don´t know what you´re talking about. Come on Kurt, let’s leave the loser alone.”
With those words Everett grabbed Kurt and they left the field holding hands. Blaine watched as Kurt turned around just for a fraction of a second and their eyes met. Without anyone else the field felt cold and the corn wasn´t beautiful anymore.
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From downstairs, the loud voice of his father reached Blaine’s ears. Someday you two are going to marry, followed by laughter. He knew that Kurt’s face would put a tomato to shame by now. It always did whenever their fathers joked about that. Blaine had excused himself from the dining table when the conversation had drifted over to the miraculous friendship that had bloomed between Everett and Hummel. Well, unlike the parents he hadn´t been surprised by that.
Everett had been furious when Blaine had brought home Kurt one day, had spat at him. Girl Kurt Hummel? Are you insane? Blaine had defended him, had never revealed he just had to do their assignment together. But like the basecap he probably still wore, Everett had a habit of taking a liking to the things his brother liked first. As if it would change anything of that matter, Blaine stormed over to his brothers bed, grabbed the red power ranger he had been robbed off, and returned to his own bed.
Kurt had been his friend. Or at least as close a friend as he could consider him. Yes, they fought and called each other names, but underneath that layer, they still had fun together. Why did Everett ruin that by acting as the nice boy and making Blaine seem like the villain? Was he the one who had beat up Vanessa Rendals when she spit her bubblegum in the long hair his brother had once loved? No. He wasn´t the one hiding lighters underneath his mattress to play with fire whenever he got bored. Still, Kurt seemed to like Everett more now and he couldn´t wrap his mind around why that bothered Blaine so much.
He sighed in relief as he heard the endless goodbye´s the adults exchanged and imagined Kurt and Everett hugging like the best friends they claimed to be and waited for his brother to enter the room. He did shortly after, sparing one glance at Blaine, before grabbing one of his lighters from under his mattress. Everett sat down on Blaine’s bed then, his finger pressing down until the lighter clicked and a tiny flame was produced. Blaine remembered a time when he had been afraid of the fire his twin seemed to be so infatuated with, but over the years he had learned to trust him. Everett may be violent and endlessly stupid, but he would never hurt Blaine on purpose.
“Sorry I called you loser. I was angry I guess.” Everett said. The flame flickered on and was put out several times before Blaine replied.
“Hmm.”
“Why did you fight with Kurt?”Click-Click-Click.
“We were just playing catch and suddenly we ended up being serious.”
Silence interrupted them. Not even the lighter made that annoying clicking sound, as they watched the shadow of someone passing by at the crack of their door. Both shared this moment of silence to look at each other. Without talking both knew that they shared the fear of Everett being caught with a lighter again. Even in the spare light of the early twilight, Blaine could see the greenish-brown of his brothers eyes, that were the biggest difference between them.
Furthermore the shape of their faces differed if you paid attention to it, as well as the shape of their eyebrows. While Blaine´s were the shape of triangles, or little clouds, as his grandmother would put, Everett were like dark-brown rainbows. For years they had always been the same heights, but the older they got, the more Blaine grew while Everett seemed smaller and smaller in comparison. The clicking noise started again, as soon as they noticed their parents were out of the range of hearing.
“You still wear my basecap, you swore you hated just yesterday.” Blaine said. Seconds later his twin brother flipped him his cap and proceeded with staring at the flame.
“I still think it´s stupid. We live in Ohio, why would you be a fan of the Chicago Bulls?”
“Dad is a fan too, why wouldn´t I be?”
Another click sounded through the room they shared, but this time Blaine didn´t expect the lighter to be right in front of his eyes. He gasped and it took him several seconds to realize that there was no flame on that he could be afraid of. Everett grinned, his face split in an expression Blaine had come to despise. This was an Everett he didn´t know. An Everett he wasn´t sure he could trust to not burn him down this instant.
“You are such a Daddyboy. Whatever he likes, you have to like too. It´s just like with religion. There is no evidence there is such a thing as god, and still you pray every night to someone who wouldn´t even care about people like us if he exists. Still, our parents drag us to church so you have to like it.” This Everett said, still holding the lighter in front of his face.
It wouldn´t take much force to press his thumb down harder and let the flame lick at Blaine’s skin. He pushed himself farther away from his brother, until his back hit the wall. The distance he had put between them made him feel braver and resulted in growing anger.
“And how are you any better?”, he defended himself, “Whatever I like you always claim is childish or stupid, but in the end you end up stealing it.”
“It is stupid! You think I care for a stupid basecap?”
Meanwhile the lighter was turned off and on again, but now the clicking only annoyed Blaine further.
“It´s not about the basecap. It´s about Kurt. He was my friend and you were the one insulting him. And now you act like a good person around him. You are leading him to believe you are friendly and caring when you are not!”
Many people would have been in fear of being hit for saying that to Everett’s face, but Blaine didn´t feel anything but remorse at this moment. He hadn´t intended to say that. It was jealousy talking. Just a childish comment, because he was angry about being robbed of something. His brother was awfully quiet for a while, staring at the flame he didn´t put out. Blaine knew his twin found calm in fire, he had told him so himself. A hushed “sorry” left Blaine’s lips, but he wasn´t sure it had been loud enough to reach the recipient.
“With Kurt it´s…different. I really like him. Yes, I am pretending to be someone else when I´m around him, but only because I hope to become this person.”
This night that was all they said to each other, both of them caught in their own mind.
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When Blaine turned 16, that´s when he truly thought he was in love. This night he had the second date with Jeremiah. But he wasn´t the one he was in love with. Kurt was. Blaine was in love with his best friend. He and Jeremiah had had coffee twice and the way in which the blue eyes trapped his, making him feel like a deer in the headlights, send warm shivers through his body.
Jeremiah was older than him and surely more experienced. Shamelessly he had told him about his exes, four to be exact and some of their kinks. At his side him, Blaine felt small and insufficient. Part of him liked the attention he was receiving, while the other part hated the condescending way in which the elder treated him. Though he thought of it as a way of punishment for using him. At first he had only seen Jeremiah as a way to try to make Kurt jealous, but later on he wanted the boy to help him get over his feelings for him.
After their second date he went home, the smile he had since meeting him never leaving his face. Right when he got out of his car, he dialed Kurt´s number. He had to tell his best friend. Last time he had tried to tell his twin brother, but Everett had ignored him completely. While he heard the dial tone, he thought about the reason he called. Was it because his best friend should know about his dates, or to try to make him jealous? It was probably the later one, but he wouldn´t admit that out loud.
“Hey Blaine, ready to discuss the outrageously insane Lady Gaga outfit at the red carpet?” Kurt interrupted him, before he could say anything at all.
He could hear the TV in the background, slightly too loud, just like Kurt liked it. Blaine imagined his friend lying on his stomach on the bed, reading vogue while watching something simultaneously. His skin would be moist with all the beauty products he had used before going to bed and his hair would cling to his skin. Only close friends were allowed to be near this Kurt Hummel, his hair a mess and his clothes rumpled by the bed. Oh, how he wanted to be beside him this instant.
“No, I´ve called to share my insanely good evening with you.”
“So? You got another solo? Come on Blaine, it doesn´t surprise me anymore!”
Blaine chuckled at Kurt’s assumption. Yeah, he had indeed earned himself another solo at the Warblers. He would be the lead voice at the Regionals and he would hopefully beat the New Directions with it. Though he kinda wanted Kurt to win too, because making him happy, made himself happy.
“Well, yeah I have and that will lessen your chances to win this time Hummel. But that´s not why I called. Blaine Anderson finally had a date with the gorgeous Gap-guy I told you about. You know the one with the curly long hair and the cute face?” Blaine said and fumbled with his keys until he finally was able to unlock the front door.
The background sounds of Kurt’s TV were suddenly quieter and he was even able to hear the rustling of fabrics running on each other.
“That´s great. Tell me about it Warbler.” Kurt said, his voice sounding bored instead of interested. Blaine frowned, even though no one could see it, as his parents were still at work and the fall was dark. First Everett, now Kurt. Was really nobody interested in his love life?
“You sound bored.” He accused him.
“I do not. Maybe I was distracted by the hot ass of Channing Tatum now parading on the red carpet. Seriously, turn on your TV.”
Blaine walked up to the kitchen, filled a glass with water and took small sips. The water didn´t help drowning the disappointed feelings he had now after coming down from the high.
“Hey, pay attention! I had my second date, and he was awesome. He paid my first coffee, he complimented my wardrobe and he flirted with me.” While reliving the evening, the happiness and guilt returned and a soft laugh left his throat when he remembered Jeremiah saying his ass looked hot in that jeans.
“Just your first? I know you Blaine; you drink five at least when you are excited and nervous. And specify “flirted.” Kurt said, sounding not remotely impressed by Blaine’s day. He even sounded vary and somber. So much for a best friend. And so much for rousing envy.
“Well, he said my eyes were like beautiful mud and that he liked boxers.”
“First of all, how is mud a good thing? Your eyes are more like…forget it. And liking boxers? He seems like a poet.”
Blaine didn´t miss the mocking sound of his voice, but knowing Kurt he guessed that was intended. Part of him still wondered how Kurt would have described his eyes. He knew it would have been better than beautiful mud and that made his heart beat faster.
“Shut it. He is cute and really educated. He wants to be a dog trainer later on.” He said, emptying his glass and putting it into the sink. Pulling out his jacket, switching the ear he had the phone on while doing so, to not miss anything Kurt said, he went upstairs to his room.
“Well the Gap seems like the perfect place to prepare for the job of a dog trainer.”
“Kurt…” He warned him and the chuckle on the other side of the line told him Kurt understood.
“Okay, I´m only kidding. I´m happy for you. When is your next date, maybe I could accidentely bump into you two and tell him what a great guy you are.” He was offered and he felt happy on the one hand and sober on the other.
Just when he was about to reply, he noticed the loud music coming from Everett’s room. Under normal circumstances he would have ignored it, went into his room and talked to Kurt for several hours. Either way, Everett had never been “normal circumstances”.
“Hold on a second. I just have to check what my brother is up to now.” Blaine said, before slipping the phone into his pocket.
Carefully he reached the door with the yellow “Danger zone: Do not enter” band he could only guess what been stolen once. Whatever his brother listened too, the screaming voices mashed up the voices into a mash he couldn´t understand.
Opening the door he narrowed his eyes as he was engulfed in complete darkness. At least he was for a while, before he caught the warm light of a flame across the room. It didn´t illuminate much and the terribly loud music did nothing to understand the situation he had just entered. Concentrating on the tiny light, he watched it shake and quiver as it started to illuminate a pale surface, turning it a soft orange shade.
Blaine watched as the pale surface collided with the flame and he finally understood. In the short seconds his heart hammered in fear against his chest and he contemplated his options. He could try to grab for the lighter, but that could turn horribly wrong. So he did the only thing his mind could come up with
. He turned on the lights. Everett´s eyes met his, his expression one of pain, but he smiled nonetheless. Blaine felt like throwing up as he realized that the fire was still pressed against Everett´s lower arm, before he finally put out the flame. The places where the flame had touched were alarmingly red. Even a few spots of black on the edges were visible. Tears sprung to his eyes and he quickly turned out the music.
“Something up?” Everett asked, trying to sound casual. But even though he had done this to himself, he still seemed to feel the pain just as strong.
“Are you insane? What were you doing? I…I…”
Blaine’s voice was loud and feelings seemed to jumble inside of him, making him cry. This was not the first time Everett had done something insane. His whole life was insane. Still, standing here, looking at the brother, everyone said he resembled, he had never felt this secluded and far from knowing him. Everett’s undamaged hand cradled the left arm, clutching at his wrist as if he could drown the pain this way. His hair looked filthy, he hadn´t shaved for a few days and as the room reeked of alcohol, he suspected, Everett would smell as well.
“Exactly what it looks like Blainey.” Everett then said, sounding tired. And Blaine wondered if his body was just lacking sleep or if it was life he was tired of. He hoped it was the first guess. Meanwhile he had completely forgotten about Kurt, but as soon as he remembered he pulled out his phone.
“I´m sorry, It´s urgent…I will call you tomorrow okay?”
“What is-?” Was all he heard before he ended the call and walked over to his twin.
He crouched in front of him, as did adults whenever they talked to children. His legs felt wobbly and unable to support his weight, but they didn´t give in.
“Everett, tell me what´s wrong. We will try to fix it.” Blaine found himself saying.
His mind was blank and he knew he sounded like his own mom, whenever she had tried to soothe them when they had ripped of their teddy’s head or something.
“Who was that on the phone?” Everett asked, avoiding the matter. He glared at Blaine, when he gripped his knees under the ripped jeans.
“That doesn´t matter. You matter right now. Was this…the first time?”
“Was it Kurt? Did he ask about me?”
Blaine sighed, lowering his head. He couldn´t bear to look in the eyes that usually were so void of feelings, except for when it came to Kurt. Everyone with eyes in their heads could see that Everett was in love with Kurt. And he didn´t deny it. At least when he was alone with Blaine. The reason he never tried to approach him, even avoided him on purpose was he didn´t deem himself good enough. In moments like this Blaine understood why.
Everett was his brother and he knew that he would care for his partner, shower him with love even though he seemed like a dangerous guy. On the other hand he knew of the dark parts of Everett’s life, now spread in front of him in form of a nasty burn and he didn´t want Kurt to be sucked into his mess. Even though Everett tried to bury his feelings, he never could, while Blaine was better at that. At least he tried to get over Kurt. Both brothers in love with the same person would end up both of them hurt, so he had made an attempt to back off. Not a selfless one, he admitted, but a try. Still, he doubted Everett was the right one for Kurt, brother or not.
“Yeah he did, but what should I have told him? He has burned himself, wait a minute then I let you talk to him? What do you expect me to tell him? You know he worries way too much.” Blaine lied.
It was easy to lie when it was to make his brother happy. Without looking up, he knew that Everett was slowly returning to his true self.
“Thank you.”
“You need to tell me what is wrong. I want to help you!”
A warm hand began to play with his hair, something Everett always knew would calm him. The tears started to subside, even though he knew he shouldn´t be the one who was soothes. Everett was.
“Shh. Stop crying Blaine. I´m fine. It was just a stupid experiment and I learned my lesson. Fire hurts way too much.” His brother said, chuckling lightly.
Blaine knew it was fake. He also recognized the sentence. It was something Kurt liked to repeat, because he knew Everett liked to play with fire and he disapproved.
“Promise me!”
Without mentioning what, both knew what Blaine wanted to hear. And even if it wasn´t sincere, he felt calmer when Everett said it.
“I won´t do that again.”
He never kept the promise.