This life feels like a game with missing rules
It's weird but one of the fandom's I love so much... I don't actually love as much as I thought I did.
I still love the band, their music and them so much, but I just have no motivation to write about them anymore, I mean, I can't even read the fic anymore... It's really weird because I know I've let down a load of people on my flist because I don't read there anymore, and I can't make myself write there either. It's not a lack of ideas thing, it's just that I can't emotionally invest myself in the characters anymore. I'm leaving the fandom anonymous because I know there will be so much wank if I name it, and really I cannot deal with that shit.
My other fandoms are still alive and well which is what makes this the kicker, because guh, I'm usually freakishly loyal to fandoms but this... idk I guess that the slight elitism of it makes me cringe, because I was a fucking awful writer early on, and if my first fandoms hadn't been so encouraging I would never have improved, so it really fucking gets to me to hear/see the bitching about writers below the 'standard'.
I haven't left any of the comms, mostly because other members/mods will notice and I'll get the shit kicked out of me for it, and because I'm still slightly hopeful I may get back into the mindset of writing about them. (Even though I know it's a lost cause, I can spot a dying fandom a million miles away) And if anyone comments going "ohh is it... fandom" I am going to tell you to fuck off. Plain and slimple.
So, in short; woe.