Two things
1) I think I'm pretty genuinely ill. I can't stop shaking, I'm boiling hot (very unusual for me), I fall asleep instantly (also very unusual), I even fell asleep while watching the Touring Cars (I can't even begin to express how upsetting that was. Motorsport is everything to me and I never never sleep during it. Especially not the BTCC. So now I feel all shit and freaked out because of that). I've hardly stopped eating and yet I feel so hungry it hurts, freaky bruises have cropped up on my legs and arms for no reason. I'm fairly clumsy but I hardly ever bruise. I'm going to have to go to the doctors even though I don't really want to. Because of the whole polycystic ovaries thing I know exactly what they'll say. "You need to be on the pill." No I don't, kindly fuck off and, you know, HELP. That might be nice for a change.
2) Real life is pretty shit at the moment (apart from my health) and I'm hiding away from the world a lot. a lot of feeling like utter shit at the moment comes from no-shows and rejects of my most recent round of job applications. It’s pretty obvious I am totally unemployable at this point. And now I'm too embarrassed/angry/upset to go to cafes and shops I love because I got turned down. Which is pathetic but just the way my mind works
2) Real life is pretty shit at the moment (apart from my health) and I'm hiding away from the world a lot. a lot of feeling like utter shit at the moment comes from no-shows and rejects of my most recent round of job applications. It’s pretty obvious I am totally unemployable at this point. And now I'm too embarrassed/angry/upset to go to cafes and shops I love because I got turned down. Which is pathetic but just the way my mind works