Jul 03, 2007 14:20
I'm hanging in, though trying bloody hard to shake this depression...i know i can be happy....ugh...i just can't figure out what exactly is bothering me....
I don't think returning to New England at the moment is likely...it may be possible, and my father said he'd do anything he could to help, but...that's only one thing getting me down....and it's not going anywhere, i'll return sometime....While i feel welcomed back there, i feel as if i'm pushed towards personal growth out here..forced to face the world, reality, and myself...though i also feel like i didn't finish healing, and I greatly miss the comfort and love I felt back there...
So i guess i feel very fragile, a small creature falling out of a warm nest to fend for myself before i can fly.
At the end of each day i manage to make myself feel a bit better, though by the time i wake up the next day this heaviness is wrapped around me again.... I feel old, and my health is worsening again....however i did make an apointment for the 12th at a clinic.
I just wanna be wrapped up in a blanket and sung to right now. I know it'll all be okay, but there's still the present feelings to cope with...mew mew...difficult to be light hearted and happy kitty at the moment, i just need to level out and find myself again.