You guys. You guys, seriously. Our show, it is back, but only for this one last itty bitty season with these ten teensy weensy little episodes :( And OMG! OMG, I watched it a couple of hours ago, and now I want to re-watch it and do the thoughts, but OMG. I never actually finished doing the Thoughts for last season, but eh, whaddayagonnado. I'm not one of those OCD people who completes things. I get emotionally involved after being without my imaginary vampire friends for the best part of a year, then by about episode 3 I learn to deal and become one with reality once again. So, no promises for seeing out all of this season here either, but hey, let's just see how we go.
*Previouslies. OMG, previously. We know. I was sprinkling parmesan on my bolognese at this point, because I've been watching this stuff for years.
*Uh-oh. Opening credits aren't even on the screen yet, but here is the clusterfuck. Hep V positive vamps are fucking up this little mixer pretty damn good. Alcide wolfs at one's throat. Jason tries to help a uselessly frozen Jane Bodehouse. That's going great except not really because they're each grabbed by a vamp. Violet stakes the one holding Jason, so that's nice. Some nice vamp is trying to get Holly and Arlene to safety, but she's staked by a nasty vamp, so Holly and Arlene are not so much safe as taken. Sam herds people inside. Tara tries to get Lettie-Mae to move, but she's shocked and useless too. There's so many frozen people here I'm surprised "Let It Go" hasn't started playing. Some big bald scary is monstering Tara who is administering a rather impressive throw down. Rosie and Kevin try to escape in the police cruiser, but here's some vamp to drag Kevin out of it and leave Rosie to do a Ginger scream. Nice pipes, love. That old dude whose name I can't remember tries to get Nicole to safety, but they're both taken, which pisses Sam off in no small amount. He dogifies and gives chase. I shamelessly wonder if he'd move this fast for a tennis ball or the postman. I am awful. Some shrill whistle calls all the scary infected vamps away. Most people are quietly traumatised. Lettie-Mae is wailing. Everyone walks to her and ...OMG. She's covered in red goo. THAT RED GOO WAS TARA! I CANNOT. I CANNOT EVEN. THEY KILLED A MAJOR CHARACTER BEFORE THE STRIPPER ASS AND KLAN KIDS EVEN GRACED THE SCREEN. I'm with Lettie-Mae - they killed my baby Tara *tears*.
*Credits. I'm chewing my knuckles right now.
*Jason calls Andy and gives him a head's up. Andy hears that Holly and Arlene are gone, so he wants to go and help. Adalyn is to stay put and not let Jessica in. Jessica is lovely and helpful and tells Andy to go and not worry. She'll take care of the babyfae. Andy is a bit mean and seems to enjoy telling her that Tara is dead. Jess cries.
*Sookie stands there in shock, unable to block out anyone's brainhate. Lala is already hitting the top shelf stuff, and man, can we really blame him? Some pseudo-politician suit is pretty pissed off that the whole thing went this far, and how it's clearly all Sookie's fault. If we're meant to know who he is, I'm drawing a blank here. Willa is trying to help Lettie-Mae who is kind of injured, but Lettie-Mae DNW.
*Andy, Jason, Bill, etc talk tactics. Suit guy sees Sam un-dog. He is creeped. Lettie-Mae agrees to sip on some Willa. Andy DNW Bill to go with, but Bill sort of has to go with.
*Alcide thinks some stuff that makes Sookie mad. It's not really heinous, but I can see where she's at. She wanders off solo because of that ass of hers and it's dumbness.
*The guy who is now James who is not the guy who was James last season calls Jess to touch base. Jess is not hungry and will not be eating now, because she has a teenfae to protect. James is not happy, but whatevs.
*Suit guy calls Sam out on his dogness. Sam is all, yep, I'm a part time pup, but lets have that talk later, because of the bloodbath we're currently standing in. Guy backs away looking freaked. Sam and Bill tell the vamp/human pairs to go home and stay safe. Humans are to meet at church in the morning. Bill tasks James with taking a slightly shaky Lafayette home. That sweet gay vamp who glamoured Terry last year is going to take Sam home.
*Alcide calls Sookie, who is too butthurt to answer. She throws her phone away instead, because that always helps. Especially when you then fall over a dead chick in the woods and can't even 911 that shit.
*We're in Marrakesh, Morocco. Some souk/underground fight club/something. Pam is playing a snarky game of Russian Roulette with Some Arabic Douche Vamp. They're standing in large bowls, presumably to catch the splatter. He's goading her with details of just how many times she's survived this. Pam does not have but a single fuck to give. I'm thinking she already felt Tara die. The spectators are betting on a winner. Some Arabic Douche Vamp thinks Allah loves him. Pam says god hates her. SADV thinks Pam needs to be make peace with god, or somesuch shit like that. Pam is a scriptwriters wet dream as she tells SADV that his god and her god can rent a motel room and have a circle jerk for all she cares, she'll be in hell having a three-way with the devil. I'm already wondering who the third invite goes out to. He says something about the love in Pam's heart or whatever, then promptly loses his 28th game of Russian Roulette. The punters are unhappy. The bowl of slush is carried away. Pam asks someone where her maker is - so this is the motivation.
*Adalyn creeps at the window. Jess don't need to be smellin' that. They're sort of leveling with each other here - they both have nightmares, so that's soul-crushing. Adalyn asks Jess, what if she can't help killing her? And you know what, fair question. It's kind of one or the other isn't it? Either she genuinely couldn't help the attack on the four fairy girls, and therefore wouldn't be able to stop herself killing Adalyn - or she's got the self-control to NOT kill Adalyn, and therefore should have used it to not kill the other three. But then again - there were four of them, she was stressed, starving, not focussed, etc. It's kind of heartbreaking to watch, because Jessica so badly doesn't want to hurt anyone. She never did. Adalyn says she should hate Jessica, but she doesn't. Jess cries again. Adalyn changes the subject to boys, and they dish a little bit about James and Wade. They become almost!besties, but here's that big bald scary. Adalyn is JESSICA'S.
*Sookie and Alcide fight about her walking home alone and him thinking blame at her. And her reading his thoughts. She knows it's not fair, but it is just so badly not her fault. Poor girl is so exhausted and so close to breaking point. Alcide is fairly understanding, so I guess we're not mad at him.
*Jason and Violet are in the car. He reminisces about Tara as a little girl. He's sad. There are already people at this place they're supposed to be checking out. It's Suit! And some other people I'm sure we don't know. These people don't trust the Bill/Sam Safe Vamp Plan (tm) to help them. They're going vigilante. Jason is doing an okay job at handling this whole thing, but Violet is crazy hostile and psychotic and annoying both him and me. The randos leave. Jason WTFs Violet.
*James takes Lafayette home. Lafayette is happy to give him blood, but he will be getting horrendously drunk and stoned first, plzkthx. James is more than okay with that, and participates in a couple of bong hits himself. He's a 60s boy, so I'm guessing he knows what he's doing here, but can vamps even get high? Like, on people drugs? Isn't that kind of like how a dog can't catch a people cold? Lafayette confirms that James is Jessica's boy, and comments that Jessica is cool. He's numb about Tara - he grieved for her the first time she died. I have to say, I expected more feels from him. I was also hoping they'd be reconciled this year. Oh wells. James waxes lyrical about all his friends dying in Nam. He was a conscientious objecter because he was a flower power peacenik. Lala would have been too if he'd been there, and I can totally see that. James talks about his friend who was a REALLY good friend, cue Lala eyebrow raise. His friends' dad beat him senseless for being queerish, so some vamp mercy-turned him. This James is a bit prettier than last year's James, so see the Prediction section for more on that. Lala offers up his wrist and probably his ass in a couple of episodes.
*Jason is all pissed at Violet, and I have to say, I'm disappointed in this scene. I was hoping we'd see a grown-up Jason this time around, who would be all "you know what, play your stupid little cock-tease sex games all you want, but do NOT interfere in my job", which would have earned my respect. I'm in law enforcement too, so I know what it's like when people overstep the damn mark. But he's more focussed on the blueness of his balls. It turns out that all Violet wanted was to be forcibly dominated, so she lets him bang her on the hood of the police cruiser. To be honest, after that abstinence Violet imposed on him I'm kind of suprised he didn't nut then and there, but he managed quite a few thrusts. Props for stamina. Her tits aren't bad, but I can see her ribs and I'm not real into that. Stackhouse's arse is still quite nice.
*Big Bald Scary is taunting Jessica and threatening to eat Adalyn. Jessica is keeping him at bay, and wants Adalyn to have some of her blood so she can find/protect her. Adalyn is momentarily grossed but acquieses quickly.
*Lettie-Mae is high on too much Willa blood (she only had a little bit, but Willa is young and therefore has cray-cray blood and Lettie-Mae has a pretty low substance tolerance now after cold-turkeying for so long). Reverend Daniels convinces her to sleep. He and Willa bond a little - he's quite sweet really. Willa is scared now that she's flying solo - her roomie Tara dead and Pam/Eric AWOL. Reverend Daniels will let her stay in the light-tight basement of the church for as long as she likes. Seeing how nice he is, it's sort of a pity Tara never really got to know him - she could have done with a nice stepdaddy like that.
*Pam is still at this underground bar type place. She wants to talk to some dude. She hands him a slip of paper, he laughs. She hands him a big ass wad of cash, and he calls his six year old over. The poor little love looks scared - apparently the only clean blood in North Africa is children's blood. Pam has just lost her own baby, she will not be having with hurting someone elses. She has to snark about it though, so she brushes off the guy's comments about her obvious need for a feed and asks where in the blue eff her maker is. He hands over a map, she says it can't be right. He insists that it is, and that it's up to her what she does with it.
*Sookie gets her baps out and curls up with a shirtless, sleeping Alcide. If I had the opportunity to be naked in the proximity of that man, I'd probably do the very same. They apologise and do each other. Damn, there's something about him, he just looks warm, y'know?
*Bill and Andy arrive at some warehouse type deal. There's blood and ookiness everywhere, which Bill says is a Hep V nest. They stumble upon some upside down hanging corpses. Andy gags on the smell. At first I thought one of the bodies was Arlene, but it isn't. Andy pukes. Ruh-roh, Suit and his buddies are in the next room. We have an argument similar to the one we just had with Jason and Violet. Suit is going to be a problem this year, I can see that. Bill tells them to let Andy go, they can keep him as a hostage. They agree. Andy pulls a full-on badass move and says a bunch of cool lines, and he is such a motherfucking action hero this year. He talks about wanting to kill Bill (hee) and points a gun at him. At first I thought it was just a ploy to get them out of this, but y'know what, he's really thinking about it for a second there. He doesn't though, and intimidates one of Suit's little buddies out of wanting to kill them. Renegade humans run away again on Andy's say so.
*Fangtasia. Hep V vamps are chewing on some dude. Arlene, Holly, Kevin, Nicole and Jane Bodehouse are chained up to the torture wheel in the basement and are all so painfully terrified that I'm not sure I have enough hugs to simultaneously share around. Holly is trying to hold the shit of everybody together. Some killy little emo vamp comes downstairs to pick his next meal. He doesn't like the smell of Arlene, so he turns on poor little Kevin and starts chowing into his arteries right there on the basement stairs while the women scream in sheer terror. This is not fun for anybody involved.
*Bill tries to be the bigger man and thank Andy for saving his ass. Andy says he did it because he needs Bill's help, not because they're good. They will never be good. I can see where he's coming from - even though Bill is back on our team now, Andy is all nice and pissed off about his other three fairyteens. I think we can let him have this one.
*Bill flashes back to saying goodbye to his human family on the porch of his house. Not quite sure what we're doing here.
*Jessica and the scary guy are both starting to simmer a bit. Adalyn is worried and tells Jessica to go home. Jessica is all dammit fae, do not be inviting me in. Adalyn "trusts" Jessica, which gingervamp thinks might be going full retard. Adalyn goes full retard and invites Jessica in. Jess does an involuntary throat-grab-artery-inhale kind of thing while Adalyn looks pants-pissingly scared, then catches herself and backs off. Have to say, the whole thing looked a teensy bit barely-legal too, and now that littlefae has had vamp blood, I'm wondering if there'll be dream sequences of immense awkwardness. Adalyn points Jessica upstairs to the attic. Scary bursts into flames outside. Jessica wins this round.
*Reverend Daniels tries to calm his remaining parishoners. That little girl Sookie met last season is there and waves to her. Sookie tries to put a hand on Lettie-Mae's shoulder. Lettie-Mae is furious and tells Sookie she's not welcome in the church. Everyone else (including fat sweaty Maxine Fortenberry) thinks the same thing. Sookie calls them out on it and says that like it or not, she's the vamp expert around here, and she wants to help them all.
Credits.
**PREDICTIONS & QUESTIONS AND WTF-ERY**
*This whole idea that Tara might not be FOR SRS dead. Like, maybe not ... but probably. I mean, I think she is, because Pam was all "everything I love goes away, woe is me", and really she can only mean Tara. I know, Eric, but see, it's my understanding that vamps can only feel their progeny dying, not their maker - and besides, Eric released Pam, so they don't have that vamp-brain-connection thingy anymore anyway. I think that's why she's cracked the sads so good and hard. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to give her all the hugs, but I'm still leaning on the side of past tense Tara. The only thing that leaves me in doubt is the lack of seeing the actual death and whatnot. Is Lettie-Mae a good enough actress to pull a fast one on that? I doubt it ... and besides, what would her motivation be? Nope. Last season, they can do what they want here. She dead. I sad.
*Edit: Just read an interview with Rutina Wesley. Tara is dead. It's not a fakeout. Have to say, I'm not overly happy. I mean, I agree that not everyone could make it until the end, and in the final season, everyone is fair game. But to just get rid of her with no wrapping up of her character at all feels a bit cold and stilted. I mean, her and Pam were a thing. We never really saw her properly fix everything with Sookie. And OMG, Lafayette - I'm really hoping she comes back as a ghost and talks to him whilst he's doing his medium thing because that's the only way I'll be coping with this sudden, Tara-less existence. I'm okay with her dying - it will bring everyone together and was a good catalyst for the start of the season, kind of like a "fuck slow introductions, we're jumping in and making things happen right away" kind of thing. But it just feels too brushed aside for my liking. Terry got a big fancy funeral with most of Bon Temps in attendance. Even goddamn Hoyt got more of a send off. But Tara dies and everyone's just like "Oh. Well ... damn". Nope. Not okay. I can see what they were going for, but it just comes across as a bit lazy and not doing the character justice.
*Jess and Adalyn becoming besties - called it. Totally fucking called it. Had the fic half written in my brain all hiatus. If Andy goes up to the attic and kills Jessica in her sleep though, I will be Done with all things Bellefleur.
*Based on that preview of Lafayette saying he wants some happiness too, I'm seeing a mildly cheaty thing going on between him and James, ie, Jessica's James. Lafayette would probably feel bad about screwing Jessica over - and I'm thinking Jessica would decide that she deserves it, because after her fae-slaying, she's not good enough for James anyway. Apparently the dude who played James last year wanted out of his contract because he "didn't like the direction the character goes in this season". That sounds to me like code for "I don't want to do boysex on screen", which, dude, way to knock back a cherry gig. Do actors just not want to work these days? Enjoy catalogue modelling and waiting tables at Bubba Gumps dude. EDIT: Called. It. --->
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/89272374.html *Suit is our nemesis this season, yes?
*WTF caused that whistle that made the Hep V vamps back off? Is there a leader? Is he/she/it our nemesis instead?
*Other deaths predicted: Maxine. Either Sam or Nicole. Bill, but not until the last episode. Or, Alcide, and Sookie will be turned by Bill. Andy? IDK.
*I'm all nicely spoiled now, so I know we're getting Eric back, so that's nice. If Tara is well and truly gone and I don't get to see her and Lafayette patch up their relationship, I at least want Pam and Eric back on track. That's my pick for their ending actually - they leave for some far off corner of the world to do it all over again, in that platonic-but-not bffs-with-benefits thing they probably had going on for the better part of a century. What an amazing end that would be for Eric - yes, he had a little dalliance with a pretty fairy, but at the end of the day, all he and Pam need is each other. Forever.
Oh, show. Here we are again.