True Blood Thoughts, episode 4!
So I worked the early shift two days ago, followed by a double shift yesterday after which I went out for an amazing Thai dinner with the girls that went until all hours of the effing morning (but was fabulously worth it!), and then just as I was enjoying sleeping in on my first day off in forever, I was woken up by a Jehovah's Witness knocking on my door at the arse-crack of dawn. So, my original plans to do this post while watching the episode again (so as not to forget hugely important bits and have to edit later) were thwarted, because I decided that it might be better for my mental health if I just put a Simpsons DVD on in the background. I thought maybe it would make me less killy.
First things first: We're renewed for season 6! Not surprising, the show is a huge success. I can never believe how many supposed "fans" in the comms get all pissy about it though, saying the show should end, they hope this is the last season, etc. Fuck that noise. If you're a fan, that means you LIKE the show. Learn it, motherfuckers.
Secondly, apparently there's a rumour going around that Pam will be killed off this season? Surely they would not be that stupid. They kept Lafayette alive at the end of season 1 because the audience adored him (as they should because he is lovely), and Pam is the other fan favourite. I'm really, really hoping this is just meaningless bullcrap, as is most of the stuff posted by some of these people.
But the Thoughts, yes? Yes.
*Starting with Eric and Pam, OMG. OMFG. I'm so glad they're back to loving each other again, but at the same time, WHY did he release her? I'm glad he did it out of love, but if it's to keep her safe, it's the dumbest move ever. At least if she was still bound to him, he could command her to stay out of the danger zone, but just because he released her doesn't mean she doesn't love him anymore. I think she'd still do anything to protect him, even if it means she'd die in the process, and now he can't even stop her.
*The releasing scene almost made me cry. My favourite part was that when Eric told Pam what he wanted to do, she accepted it and she stood up even before he did. Even when her life as she's known it for the past 100 years was on the verge of being turned upside down, Pam was still strong, and for that, she is forever my queen.
*What was that insult Pam called Ginger as she entered Fangtasia? I couldn't make it out properly. Something-bucket. It sounded filthy. Pam is a legend. And also a bitch - Ginger has been nothing but lovely to her.
*Pam's little speech to Eric about bygones and bi-girls was awesome and hilarious, but it still hurt to watch Pam being all desperate and scrambly like that. I totally get WHY she was all desperate and scrambly, but yeah.
*Bill and Eric are still bros, which is awesome. I also love Bill and Tara getting some screentime together. Tara doing the whole hand-on-her-hip sassy thing when she talked about Pam putting the Maker's Mark (tm bradeatspeeps) on her made me LOL. Tara is still Tara, you guys.
*Awww, Bill and Jessica. I loved that whole thing. Especially the "OMG ur friends drugs suck, LOL" bit. Because hee, Bill is a cool vampire Dad now. I might have almost teared up almost a little kind of when he cuddled her and said he'd done well.
*Pam and Tara are pretty much set to be my favourite vampire duo ever. Trufax. Because, see, "three days old and she has an eating disorder, why me" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I laughed so fucking hard when she was all "I'll say it!" to make Tara eat. As for the "humans are yours to savour" thing, I think Pam was just trying to get Tara on board with being a vampire. She doesn't strike me as a Sanguinista - it always seemed to me like Pam thought mainstreaming was a little bit ridiculous, but meh, each to their own. She just took what Eric said about being a maker to heart, and she doesn't want her new baby to try to live on True Blood alone. If she'd really wanted Tara to treat humans like take-out dinners, she'd have forced her to hunt, or even kill a person, not brought her a donor.
*Tara's interaction with the donor cracked my shit up. "I was going to say nice, but ... okay". I also loved her setting Bill straight on the whole Sookie thing.
*Speaking of Sookie, I love her to death, but WHY has she never done this before now? Her life has been one hunderd percent pure tragedy since season 1 and only now does she break open the booze? I love that she's strong enough to deal with her shit, but honestly. It's not as if getting blind drunk and shagging the hot werewolf wasn't an option before now. I'd have looked into it roughly two seasons ago.
*You guys, Sookie got soused and couch-danced to "Do You Like Pina Coladas". She was right, she can't carry a tune in a bucket. AND FOR THIS I LOVE HER.
*I sort of expected more from Holly, but at the same time, I can see why they played it that way. I mean, she was on ground zero for eighty percent of last seasons fucketry, so she'd have to understand that Sookie wouldn't have turned Tara if she thought she had another choice. Then again, Sookie is used to hearing ass-nasty shit in her mind from the rest of the town rednecks, it would take a healthy dose of judgement from a supposed friend to really fuck with her head. And I think that even in her near-breaking point state, she'd realise that Lafayette is just as emotionally destroyed as her, so she'd realise that his bitchery wasn't to be taken personally.
*Speaking of Lala, I'm so mad at his blue-faced-Jesus-demon right now. I, like Sookie, drive a dorky little car, and it harmed my soul in like, eight different ways to see her ride wrapped around a tree.
*OMG ALCIDE. I hate the Pelts. I mean, yeah, he was lying to them, but they didn't know that. And he was sitting there, crying in front of them and telling them how he loved their daughter. I wanted to hug him, and not just because of how fabulous his hair looked in that scene. I think he was telling the truth, he really did love Debbie - not the V-addicted, Sookie-shooting, Marcus-fucking aspects of her personality, but some of that early-season-four-nice-Debbie stuff was real. Alcide is a good guy- he showed that in episode two when he was way less angry than he could have been with Martha. Marcus was an asshole, but he was still Martha's son, and as pissed as he rightfully was with the entire situation, Alcide just couldn't bring himself to make her day even worse by being an asshole himself. BUT I STILL HATE THE PELTS. Alcide was crying.
*Jason went to Club Fae with Andy, but lulz at Kevin who wasn't invited. He can party some, y'all.
*Fairy fabulousity in a nightclub of punk cabaret burlesque sequined leggy hotties. And Hadley in a silly little hat. So wait, Jason is supernatural too? I mean, probably not, but maybe?
*How does the Judge fit into all this? If he's a fairy too, I'm going to go ahead and beg Alan Ball and homies to NOT give us a scene in which the judge is wearing flowy, chintzy white clothing and nipple glitter..
*Andy is Bill's great-great-great-great-great-(is that enough greats?)-grandson, is that why the fairies want to keep an eye on him? Because I don't really need to see him in nipple glitter either. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I TOTALLY DO.
*Oh, and I didn't realise this until I watched it for the third time, but Fuck You Andy. He cheated on Holly with Mirella, who, btw, is nowhere near as hot as she was last season. She's just tacky, and Holly is totes adorbz.
*LOLing forever at Bill and Eric outside Sookie's house watching her get it on with Alcide. Eric honestly seems like he couldn't give a fuck anymore, but Bill obviously still has several fucks to give.
*The authority are such a hot mess. Meloni was Meloni-ing around with his computer, watching Nora Torture streaming live, and is just like O HAI when Salome turns up, lol. Nora regained a bit of her awesomesauce when she told Meloni to fuck off and do his Meloni-ing somewhere else. Still not sure what falling into Salome's arms achieved - like, I get that she sold out the kid vampire (btw, loved Sharon-Osbourne-vamp needling him - "a child could do it, lol"/*glare*), but how does that really change anything? And why does she all of a sudden give a flying fuck about Bill?
*Bahahahahahahaha "I knew the guy who wrote it, he was high the whole time". I love Dieter Psychovampire. He's this season's Franklin Mott to me.
*Okay, I love Bill and I love Eric, don't get me wrong. But Alcide is hotter than both of them combined, so why did Sookie wait until now to hit it? He's huge, he's warm, she could hang with him in daylight. No contest.
*Terry is off on his PTSD roadtrip with his creepy wartime buddy and suddenly it's very Generation Kill up in this bitch. I like that Terry kibitzed at least a little about getting their drink on up in the prayer tower, because Terry has a bit more awesome in him than most people. I also really liked that this episode kind of showed us that military =/= cold blooded killer. Terry was fucking gutted, yo.
*Arlene, I love you. "Barack and Hilary are asking for you". Hee, she's a classic.
*Speaking of Suzanne and Emory, WTF is up with all that shit? I'm guessing this is the work of a pissed off were-pack. Luna and the Emmapup didn't make an appearance this week, so I'm not sure where we're going with this.
*Jessica rules all as the pwn-er of the Bon Temps sherriff's department.
*Have I forgotten anything massive? I don't think so ... no Newlin this week, little to no wolfish involvement, icky sex teacher failed to make an appearance. I think I'm done.
*Re: next week's promo, OMG HOYT. He wants Tara to nom on him, which is clearly whats going to provoke the bar-brawl mentioned in the spoilers (clearly Jessica is going to get her jealous on and whale on Tara. Pam will protect her babyvamp and break up the girlfight). The thing is, even when Tara was human, one of her toenail clippings would contain more fabulous than Hoyt's entire Hoyt-filled existence. She is so out of his league, I hope her and Jessica can still be buds.
*I re-watched a season 1 episode, and there's some stuff I don't buy (I mean, besides the vampires-are-real schtick). Lettie-Mae and Maxine would know each other - their kids were BFFs with the Stackhouses, and even what with Lettie-Mae's all-you-can-drink life philosophy and her general neglectful way of doing things, they'd have run into each other. it's a small town, for fuck's sake.
*Also, the fact that Lettie-Mae drinks like a celebu-tart on a good behaviour bond would not be a shock to Sam. Again, small town. Gossip travels, and even though the Stackhouses were/are too decent, and too loyal to Tara, to spread less-than-complimentary information, doesn't mean the rest of the town is. Sam runs the local bar, and even though Lettie-Mae likes to get her drink on in the privacy of her own squalor, they'd have crossed paths. Also, she mentioned that she'd been in the lock-up a few times. Even if Kenya had more common sense than to break police confidentiality regulations and tell the world about the crazy drunk lady she locked up last night, all it would take is for Bud to mention it to his wife or something, and shit like that would get around.
First things first: We're renewed for season 6! Not surprising, the show is a huge success. I can never believe how many supposed "fans" in the comms get all pissy about it though, saying the show should end, they hope this is the last season, etc. Fuck that noise. If you're a fan, that means you LIKE the show. Learn it, motherfuckers.
Secondly, apparently there's a rumour going around that Pam will be killed off this season? Surely they would not be that stupid. They kept Lafayette alive at the end of season 1 because the audience adored him (as they should because he is lovely), and Pam is the other fan favourite. I'm really, really hoping this is just meaningless bullcrap, as is most of the stuff posted by some of these people.
But the Thoughts, yes? Yes.
*Starting with Eric and Pam, OMG. OMFG. I'm so glad they're back to loving each other again, but at the same time, WHY did he release her? I'm glad he did it out of love, but if it's to keep her safe, it's the dumbest move ever. At least if she was still bound to him, he could command her to stay out of the danger zone, but just because he released her doesn't mean she doesn't love him anymore. I think she'd still do anything to protect him, even if it means she'd die in the process, and now he can't even stop her.
*The releasing scene almost made me cry. My favourite part was that when Eric told Pam what he wanted to do, she accepted it and she stood up even before he did. Even when her life as she's known it for the past 100 years was on the verge of being turned upside down, Pam was still strong, and for that, she is forever my queen.
*What was that insult Pam called Ginger as she entered Fangtasia? I couldn't make it out properly. Something-bucket. It sounded filthy. Pam is a legend. And also a bitch - Ginger has been nothing but lovely to her.
*Pam's little speech to Eric about bygones and bi-girls was awesome and hilarious, but it still hurt to watch Pam being all desperate and scrambly like that. I totally get WHY she was all desperate and scrambly, but yeah.
*Bill and Eric are still bros, which is awesome. I also love Bill and Tara getting some screentime together. Tara doing the whole hand-on-her-hip sassy thing when she talked about Pam putting the Maker's Mark (tm bradeatspeeps) on her made me LOL. Tara is still Tara, you guys.
*Awww, Bill and Jessica. I loved that whole thing. Especially the "OMG ur friends drugs suck, LOL" bit. Because hee, Bill is a cool vampire Dad now. I might have almost teared up almost a little kind of when he cuddled her and said he'd done well.
*Pam and Tara are pretty much set to be my favourite vampire duo ever. Trufax. Because, see, "three days old and she has an eating disorder, why me" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I laughed so fucking hard when she was all "I'll say it!" to make Tara eat. As for the "humans are yours to savour" thing, I think Pam was just trying to get Tara on board with being a vampire. She doesn't strike me as a Sanguinista - it always seemed to me like Pam thought mainstreaming was a little bit ridiculous, but meh, each to their own. She just took what Eric said about being a maker to heart, and she doesn't want her new baby to try to live on True Blood alone. If she'd really wanted Tara to treat humans like take-out dinners, she'd have forced her to hunt, or even kill a person, not brought her a donor.
*Tara's interaction with the donor cracked my shit up. "I was going to say nice, but ... okay". I also loved her setting Bill straight on the whole Sookie thing.
*Speaking of Sookie, I love her to death, but WHY has she never done this before now? Her life has been one hunderd percent pure tragedy since season 1 and only now does she break open the booze? I love that she's strong enough to deal with her shit, but honestly. It's not as if getting blind drunk and shagging the hot werewolf wasn't an option before now. I'd have looked into it roughly two seasons ago.
*You guys, Sookie got soused and couch-danced to "Do You Like Pina Coladas". She was right, she can't carry a tune in a bucket. AND FOR THIS I LOVE HER.
*I sort of expected more from Holly, but at the same time, I can see why they played it that way. I mean, she was on ground zero for eighty percent of last seasons fucketry, so she'd have to understand that Sookie wouldn't have turned Tara if she thought she had another choice. Then again, Sookie is used to hearing ass-nasty shit in her mind from the rest of the town rednecks, it would take a healthy dose of judgement from a supposed friend to really fuck with her head. And I think that even in her near-breaking point state, she'd realise that Lafayette is just as emotionally destroyed as her, so she'd realise that his bitchery wasn't to be taken personally.
*Speaking of Lala, I'm so mad at his blue-faced-Jesus-demon right now. I, like Sookie, drive a dorky little car, and it harmed my soul in like, eight different ways to see her ride wrapped around a tree.
*OMG ALCIDE. I hate the Pelts. I mean, yeah, he was lying to them, but they didn't know that. And he was sitting there, crying in front of them and telling them how he loved their daughter. I wanted to hug him, and not just because of how fabulous his hair looked in that scene. I think he was telling the truth, he really did love Debbie - not the V-addicted, Sookie-shooting, Marcus-fucking aspects of her personality, but some of that early-season-four-nice-Debbie stuff was real. Alcide is a good guy- he showed that in episode two when he was way less angry than he could have been with Martha. Marcus was an asshole, but he was still Martha's son, and as pissed as he rightfully was with the entire situation, Alcide just couldn't bring himself to make her day even worse by being an asshole himself. BUT I STILL HATE THE PELTS. Alcide was crying.
*Jason went to Club Fae with Andy, but lulz at Kevin who wasn't invited. He can party some, y'all.
*Fairy fabulousity in a nightclub of punk cabaret burlesque sequined leggy hotties. And Hadley in a silly little hat. So wait, Jason is supernatural too? I mean, probably not, but maybe?
*How does the Judge fit into all this? If he's a fairy too, I'm going to go ahead and beg Alan Ball and homies to NOT give us a scene in which the judge is wearing flowy, chintzy white clothing and nipple glitter..
*Andy is Bill's great-great-great-great-great-(is that enough greats?)-grandson, is that why the fairies want to keep an eye on him? Because I don't really need to see him in nipple glitter either. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I TOTALLY DO.
*Oh, and I didn't realise this until I watched it for the third time, but Fuck You Andy. He cheated on Holly with Mirella, who, btw, is nowhere near as hot as she was last season. She's just tacky, and Holly is totes adorbz.
*LOLing forever at Bill and Eric outside Sookie's house watching her get it on with Alcide. Eric honestly seems like he couldn't give a fuck anymore, but Bill obviously still has several fucks to give.
*The authority are such a hot mess. Meloni was Meloni-ing around with his computer, watching Nora Torture streaming live, and is just like O HAI when Salome turns up, lol. Nora regained a bit of her awesomesauce when she told Meloni to fuck off and do his Meloni-ing somewhere else. Still not sure what falling into Salome's arms achieved - like, I get that she sold out the kid vampire (btw, loved Sharon-Osbourne-vamp needling him - "a child could do it, lol"/*glare*), but how does that really change anything? And why does she all of a sudden give a flying fuck about Bill?
*Bahahahahahahaha "I knew the guy who wrote it, he was high the whole time". I love Dieter Psychovampire. He's this season's Franklin Mott to me.
*Okay, I love Bill and I love Eric, don't get me wrong. But Alcide is hotter than both of them combined, so why did Sookie wait until now to hit it? He's huge, he's warm, she could hang with him in daylight. No contest.
*Terry is off on his PTSD roadtrip with his creepy wartime buddy and suddenly it's very Generation Kill up in this bitch. I like that Terry kibitzed at least a little about getting their drink on up in the prayer tower, because Terry has a bit more awesome in him than most people. I also really liked that this episode kind of showed us that military =/= cold blooded killer. Terry was fucking gutted, yo.
*Arlene, I love you. "Barack and Hilary are asking for you". Hee, she's a classic.
*Speaking of Suzanne and Emory, WTF is up with all that shit? I'm guessing this is the work of a pissed off were-pack. Luna and the Emmapup didn't make an appearance this week, so I'm not sure where we're going with this.
*Jessica rules all as the pwn-er of the Bon Temps sherriff's department.
*Have I forgotten anything massive? I don't think so ... no Newlin this week, little to no wolfish involvement, icky sex teacher failed to make an appearance. I think I'm done.
*Re: next week's promo, OMG HOYT. He wants Tara to nom on him, which is clearly whats going to provoke the bar-brawl mentioned in the spoilers (clearly Jessica is going to get her jealous on and whale on Tara. Pam will protect her babyvamp and break up the girlfight). The thing is, even when Tara was human, one of her toenail clippings would contain more fabulous than Hoyt's entire Hoyt-filled existence. She is so out of his league, I hope her and Jessica can still be buds.
*I re-watched a season 1 episode, and there's some stuff I don't buy (I mean, besides the vampires-are-real schtick). Lettie-Mae and Maxine would know each other - their kids were BFFs with the Stackhouses, and even what with Lettie-Mae's all-you-can-drink life philosophy and her general neglectful way of doing things, they'd have run into each other. it's a small town, for fuck's sake.
*Also, the fact that Lettie-Mae drinks like a celebu-tart on a good behaviour bond would not be a shock to Sam. Again, small town. Gossip travels, and even though the Stackhouses were/are too decent, and too loyal to Tara, to spread less-than-complimentary information, doesn't mean the rest of the town is. Sam runs the local bar, and even though Lettie-Mae likes to get her drink on in the privacy of her own squalor, they'd have crossed paths. Also, she mentioned that she'd been in the lock-up a few times. Even if Kenya had more common sense than to break police confidentiality regulations and tell the world about the crazy drunk lady she locked up last night, all it would take is for Bud to mention it to his wife or something, and shit like that would get around.