More about my stupid ex-friend
I know this is immature, to keep ranting about it like this. But what on earth is LJ for if not to expose the world to your childish venting? So bear with me, this may just be the last one I need.
First things first though - I found out a few minutes ago via facebook that Marta's stepsister Annie (same age as us, was part of our friendship group at school, then kind of drifted apart from us but we still love her - except for Marta, who had a huge fight with her about 5 years ago [how surprising!]) is now engaged. I'm a little sad/jealous - not because of her fiance, or even of getting married, particularly. As I mentioned in an earlier rant (see below), I'm not really the biggest fan of marriage, not sure I'm even the marriage type, etc. I also have political reasons to be against it - I'm bisexual, so I'm not sure I'm okay with the government allowing me to legally be with the person I love - AS LONG AS IT'S A MAN, OMG. And even if I was in a relationship with a man, I don't know that I could support a system which is so homophobic. So it's not that she's getting married that's eating at me, per se, it's more of an everybody-is-moving-on-with-their-lives-but-me-woe moment. So I may be extra bitchy today as a result of that mood (though I'm sure it's a temporary one).
So. Marta. Ever since our initial blow-up, she's been using the "block" function on facebook to make her point. She is, in fact, fifteen. She must be, because no adult would behave like that. See, she doesn't have a closed profile, because of her single mother's foundation - she wants people to be able to find it/read about it, etc. I don't have a closed profile either, because I'm not naive enough to think it achieves anything - you don't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want the whole world to be able to read. Period. So when Marta and Shelly had their fight, Marta blocked her - not because there was anything on her facebook she didn't want Shelly to read, because it would have been easy enough for Shelly to see Marta's page via another facebook account, and not because Shelly was harrassing her, because Shelly is a grown-up and doesn't do things like that. The block was just Marta's way of making a point - "I don't like you anymore". Her immaturity, let me show you it. She did the same to me, but then she unblocked me a few days later - I'm not sure why, there are a few possible reasons:
1. She realised I hadn't blocked her, so she didn't want it to seem like she was the petty one.
2. She was feeling vaguely contrite and was hoping we could talk, but was too gutless to actually speak to me, so she hoped unblocking me would be an olive branch.
3. Something screwed up with facebook's privacy settings.
But the plot, she thickens. A few weeks ago, Helen, Shelly and I had a joint party (Shelly was back in town for a few days to see her old friends, Helen and I were both about to leave for the forseeable future and wanted to have a farewell celebration). Naturally, Shelly and I didn't want to invite Marta, but we both told Helen that we didn't want her to feel like she couldn't invite Marta, after all it was her party too, and Shelly and I are adults who are capable of being civil for one evening. Helen said she was sick to death of Marta and her attitude, she wanted to enjoy the night with her friends and not have to worry about someone spoiling it with thier childish little temper tantrums. As such, she didn't invite Marta.
We all had an amazing night. We all posted things to the effect of "Omg yay last nite kicked ass thanks for coming you guys!" the next day. Marta obviously saw it, got pissed that she hadn't been invited (yes, she really is arrogant enough that she'd expect an invite even after the way she spoke to me), and reblocked me. She also blocked Helen. We all laughed at her infancy.
However! A couple of days ago, she'd unblocked me yet again. So now I'm curious ... what's her angle here? I don't get it. I mean, if I wanted to stalk her page, I could - and I occasionally do. Just last night I asked my dad if I could log into his page to look at Marta's, he laughed and told me to go for it. I know the password to both my parents accounts, and could use them anytime I wanted to look at Marta's page. And before anyone gets on their high horse, no, I don't make a habit of invading my parent's privacy - neither of them are that into facebook, so they rarely use their accounts. In fact, they had me set the accounts up for them, which is why I know the passwords. They often ask me to handle anything to do with thier privacy settings because they don't understand it. If I asked them for permission to use thier accounts, they'd be fine with it, and besides, I'd never look at their messages or add them to groups or anything.
"But Patch!" I hear you cry, "isn't stalking Marta's page just as immature as what she's doing?" Well, yeah, in some ways I guess it is. But why the hell shouldn't I? I know for a fact she stalks my page - when I was still friends with her, she'd use my account all the time to stalk Annie. She's on facebook constantly, and she's an expert at using it to spy on people. Because she has a kid now and is home all the time, she's always, and I mean always logged in. I know Marta, and I can guarantee she's on my page on a daily basis.
So now, I use it to my advantage. My profile is open and I haven't blocked her, so I post things that I know will make her squirm, but she can't call me on it without admitting to what she's done, and admitting she's been looking at my page even though our friendship is over. Because I'm one of the only people who knows about her infidelity, I've been having a field day with Tiger Woods/Jesse James/David Boreanaz - I post links to the news stories and comment with things like "WTF is with all the cheaing?!". Others see my links and agree. I know she's reading that, and that she knows what all these people would think of her if they knew what she was really like. I should qualify that though: I'm not putting the celebrities in the same sordid little boat as Marta. I mean, cheating is wrong, and there's no excuse, that I'm standing firm on. But I'd never come right out and say "OMG, TIger, Jesse and David are the scum of the earth" because I don't know them, I don't know the situation, there are a lot of factors that could have been twisted by the media. Their marriages are their business, and even though I don't agree with betraying people, they have the right to go about thier lives without scrutiny from complete strangers like me.
Marta, however, does not have that right. I know her very well, I know the situation, and I know how many people could get hurt as a result. She deserves to look over her shoulder. Especially as she's been arrogant enough to post things about how much she misses and loves her husband. When I see a post like that, I write a passive-aggressive little post about hating hypocrites. I'm not sure if she's figured it out yet.
I know it's a little bit mean and spiteful, but anyone who speaks to me like she did deserves punishment. So there it is.
First things first though - I found out a few minutes ago via facebook that Marta's stepsister Annie (same age as us, was part of our friendship group at school, then kind of drifted apart from us but we still love her - except for Marta, who had a huge fight with her about 5 years ago [how surprising!]) is now engaged. I'm a little sad/jealous - not because of her fiance, or even of getting married, particularly. As I mentioned in an earlier rant (see below), I'm not really the biggest fan of marriage, not sure I'm even the marriage type, etc. I also have political reasons to be against it - I'm bisexual, so I'm not sure I'm okay with the government allowing me to legally be with the person I love - AS LONG AS IT'S A MAN, OMG. And even if I was in a relationship with a man, I don't know that I could support a system which is so homophobic. So it's not that she's getting married that's eating at me, per se, it's more of an everybody-is-moving-on-with-their-lives-but-me-woe moment. So I may be extra bitchy today as a result of that mood (though I'm sure it's a temporary one).
So. Marta. Ever since our initial blow-up, she's been using the "block" function on facebook to make her point. She is, in fact, fifteen. She must be, because no adult would behave like that. See, she doesn't have a closed profile, because of her single mother's foundation - she wants people to be able to find it/read about it, etc. I don't have a closed profile either, because I'm not naive enough to think it achieves anything - you don't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want the whole world to be able to read. Period. So when Marta and Shelly had their fight, Marta blocked her - not because there was anything on her facebook she didn't want Shelly to read, because it would have been easy enough for Shelly to see Marta's page via another facebook account, and not because Shelly was harrassing her, because Shelly is a grown-up and doesn't do things like that. The block was just Marta's way of making a point - "I don't like you anymore". Her immaturity, let me show you it. She did the same to me, but then she unblocked me a few days later - I'm not sure why, there are a few possible reasons:
1. She realised I hadn't blocked her, so she didn't want it to seem like she was the petty one.
2. She was feeling vaguely contrite and was hoping we could talk, but was too gutless to actually speak to me, so she hoped unblocking me would be an olive branch.
3. Something screwed up with facebook's privacy settings.
But the plot, she thickens. A few weeks ago, Helen, Shelly and I had a joint party (Shelly was back in town for a few days to see her old friends, Helen and I were both about to leave for the forseeable future and wanted to have a farewell celebration). Naturally, Shelly and I didn't want to invite Marta, but we both told Helen that we didn't want her to feel like she couldn't invite Marta, after all it was her party too, and Shelly and I are adults who are capable of being civil for one evening. Helen said she was sick to death of Marta and her attitude, she wanted to enjoy the night with her friends and not have to worry about someone spoiling it with thier childish little temper tantrums. As such, she didn't invite Marta.
We all had an amazing night. We all posted things to the effect of "Omg yay last nite kicked ass thanks for coming you guys!" the next day. Marta obviously saw it, got pissed that she hadn't been invited (yes, she really is arrogant enough that she'd expect an invite even after the way she spoke to me), and reblocked me. She also blocked Helen. We all laughed at her infancy.
However! A couple of days ago, she'd unblocked me yet again. So now I'm curious ... what's her angle here? I don't get it. I mean, if I wanted to stalk her page, I could - and I occasionally do. Just last night I asked my dad if I could log into his page to look at Marta's, he laughed and told me to go for it. I know the password to both my parents accounts, and could use them anytime I wanted to look at Marta's page. And before anyone gets on their high horse, no, I don't make a habit of invading my parent's privacy - neither of them are that into facebook, so they rarely use their accounts. In fact, they had me set the accounts up for them, which is why I know the passwords. They often ask me to handle anything to do with thier privacy settings because they don't understand it. If I asked them for permission to use thier accounts, they'd be fine with it, and besides, I'd never look at their messages or add them to groups or anything.
"But Patch!" I hear you cry, "isn't stalking Marta's page just as immature as what she's doing?" Well, yeah, in some ways I guess it is. But why the hell shouldn't I? I know for a fact she stalks my page - when I was still friends with her, she'd use my account all the time to stalk Annie. She's on facebook constantly, and she's an expert at using it to spy on people. Because she has a kid now and is home all the time, she's always, and I mean always logged in. I know Marta, and I can guarantee she's on my page on a daily basis.
So now, I use it to my advantage. My profile is open and I haven't blocked her, so I post things that I know will make her squirm, but she can't call me on it without admitting to what she's done, and admitting she's been looking at my page even though our friendship is over. Because I'm one of the only people who knows about her infidelity, I've been having a field day with Tiger Woods/Jesse James/David Boreanaz - I post links to the news stories and comment with things like "WTF is with all the cheaing?!". Others see my links and agree. I know she's reading that, and that she knows what all these people would think of her if they knew what she was really like. I should qualify that though: I'm not putting the celebrities in the same sordid little boat as Marta. I mean, cheating is wrong, and there's no excuse, that I'm standing firm on. But I'd never come right out and say "OMG, TIger, Jesse and David are the scum of the earth" because I don't know them, I don't know the situation, there are a lot of factors that could have been twisted by the media. Their marriages are their business, and even though I don't agree with betraying people, they have the right to go about thier lives without scrutiny from complete strangers like me.
Marta, however, does not have that right. I know her very well, I know the situation, and I know how many people could get hurt as a result. She deserves to look over her shoulder. Especially as she's been arrogant enough to post things about how much she misses and loves her husband. When I see a post like that, I write a passive-aggressive little post about hating hypocrites. I'm not sure if she's figured it out yet.
I know it's a little bit mean and spiteful, but anyone who speaks to me like she did deserves punishment. So there it is.