i wish I could have plastic wrap in my closet
ohh, pheww! this picspam took me so much of my time! But anyways, I needed to do it cuz this show is like a little precious jewelry for me♥
1.01 Pie-lette
Emerson: Are you in love with her? 'Cause it's that level of stupid.
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Narrator: As he stared at her, he reached around his back and held his own hand, pretending he was holding hers. And at that very moment, she was pretending to be holding his
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Chuck: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Emerson: Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem
1.02 Dummy
Chuck: You love secrets. You wanna marry secrets and have little half-secret, half-human babies.
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Emerson: Rhubarb.
Olive: What's that mean?
Emerson: PI secret code for 'get me a damn slice of rhubarb.'
Olive: This isn't Pies r Us, Pie City ... this is a bells on the door, pies-baking, mom and pop place. We chit chat here. Chit!
Emerson: Chat!
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Chuck: Isn't that what a PI is supposed to do, investigate? Isn't that the fun part?
Emerson: The fun part is counting my money in the bubble bath.
1.03 The fun in funeral
Chuck: Remember, mind over matter will make Pooh unfatter.
Emerson: I might be stucked, but I can still reach my gun
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Salesman: It's homeopathic.
Olive: Meaning it only relates to gay people?
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Chuck: You're like Winnie the Pooh. Gimme your paws, Pooh.
1.04 Pigeon
Chuck: We're like everyone else in the world.
Ned: Except I still can't catch you.
Emerson: We're taking two cars next time.
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Vivian: A bird with gossip. How exciting.
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Emerson: Just because there's vodka in my freezer doesn't mean I need to drink it. Wait... yes it does.
1.05 Girth
Chuck: (to Ned) How do you know there's not a ghost somewhere right now telling his ghost friend, "You don't really think there's a guy who can touch dead people back to life, do you?"
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Olive: Ned hates Halloween, you know. Makes him moodier than a pumpkin full of PMS.
1.06 Bitches
Emerson: "Someone in love is like a gangsta. They be like, 'Oh baby, you bleeding. How did that happen?' while they're hiding the razor in their weave."
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Ned: I had a sexy dream about Olive last night and I'm sure it was influenced by a reality-based kiss. By the road. You know...
Emerson: There is no way for this conversation to be anything but awkward for me.
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Chuck: (to Ned) I'm going to hug Digby and pretend that he's you.
1.07 Smell of success
Olive: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian: How fascinating.
Lily: And a bargain, too.
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Emerson: Ho...hell no!
1.08 Bitter sweets
Emerson: Oh no, see, this is how it all ends. Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don't make no sense. And by the time your head realizes. Hey, this weird guy makes no sense, your guts are all over the window.
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1.09 Corpsicle
Coroner: My niece gave me this sweater.
Emerson: That thing is uglier than a chipmunk's ass.
Ned: He means the sweater, not your niece.
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Emerson: We are giant, enormous idiots. And don't you say "gi-normous" because that ain't a word
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