(no subject)
I'm on call again this weekend. I felt almost excited for it. It's a good reason to make no demands of myself/time - surrendering all to the whim and instability of King County's finest mentally ill. I really like this part of my job, and that feels odd.
I had a great day today. I didn't sleep a lot last night, but Atta convinced me (and then I convinced him) to go out and play tennis a bit. It felt so great. My only exercise (other than occasional frisbee) for the past 6 weeks has been once-per-week football. It took some effort to get up and out the door, but man - I felt great all day. I've been semi-sore and tired for the past.... 6 weeks. What a coincidence, yes? I've felt, now that I've sort of broken out of it, kind of horrible. We hit the ball, then threw a football around, then went and had coffee. Came home, a little madden. I had only drank water (about 32 oz) before the tennis and coffee, and I didn't feel tired, weak or hungry. I finally ate a fiber/granola bar at about 4. Oh - and I ate one mini-donut at Fuel. Then I showered and went to Fed Way to meet my parents, in town on a trucking adventure (6k miles in 2 weeks. WTF?) for a delicious seafood dinner overlooking Puget Sound and Vashon Island.
It was great to see them, even though they're looking older and older. My mom's face looks sort of puffy and her eyes are getting... closed/squinty. My dad's face is more and more wrinkled and my grandpa's lines and gray are forming. We actually agreed on politics (the whole system's fucked). I think I may go see them again tomorrow night. Although, while discussing my nephew , who's the youngest of his family - like me, and his 19 yr old lack of goal making/pursuing behavior - my parents joined in comparing him to me. No - not when 19. To NOW. They told me how his only goal is to 'have fun' and looked at me w/ a coy 'sound familiar' look in their eyes and implied leaning-over-to-poke-with-elbow. Um, parents? I'm one of only two of your six children to have 'had fun' through multiple years of college/grad school to attain a professional degree, and pursue a career making use of that degree. The other person attended 5 yrs less than I did. So what if I haven't chosen to have a $2k mortgage, a $500 car payment and settling into domestic boredom before the age of 23 as is standard for most folks around their parts. (well - I sort of tried parts of that, but quickly found it didn't fit.) I suppose I'll forever be tagged w/ 'Oh that A.G - so silllly' that I've been used to since the earliest memories.
How can those with whom I find the most belonging have so little understanding of me as a human?
After coming home from being w/ my parents I proceeded to do the notes for my work calls today whilst listening to some actual CDs. I have done very little quality music listening (or reading, incidentally) for far too long. It felt very nice. Then it started raining after the 2nd disc, so now I'm listening to that. Just as nice.
I seem to have given up exercise in trade for drinking more. (until today). Twice in the last 7 days I've drank way too much. Nothing bad happened other than feeling super off on the day after. I don't really get hungover, which is nice. Still - I can't say I wasn't a little concerned the second time. I was walking home the other night, and must have been feeling extra special because I started jumping while walking, like as high as I could... taking jumping steps. My balance wasn't what it should be and I fell. Banged my elbow a bit (already swelled after a sharp corner last week) and my knee (already swelled from football incident previously documented). It was no big deal, but I've never fallen from drinking. (is passing out falling? I don't think so - since I've always chosen the time and place of said action.)
Yesterday after work I went w/ a friend/coworker to see these toobs in Volunteer Park. They were as cool as expected... kind of surreal and magical feeling. It was annoying to see 5-6 kids between 3 and 12 running amongst them, jumping over them and otherwise putting them at risk. I like that they were in there interacting w/ them, but the lack of parental guidance/oversight was disturbing. The artist had to clear them out more than once after they shifted from wonderment to hyper. She allowed them as long they weren't doing anything that could damage the toobs, but that didn't last long.
Now I'm tired. I hope I get to sleep through the night, but whatever... I've got all day tomorrow to nap between pages. I may go throw some frisbee though.
hughferriss ,
chaosmassive ... Where my boyz?
I had a great day today. I didn't sleep a lot last night, but Atta convinced me (and then I convinced him) to go out and play tennis a bit. It felt so great. My only exercise (other than occasional frisbee) for the past 6 weeks has been once-per-week football. It took some effort to get up and out the door, but man - I felt great all day. I've been semi-sore and tired for the past.... 6 weeks. What a coincidence, yes? I've felt, now that I've sort of broken out of it, kind of horrible. We hit the ball, then threw a football around, then went and had coffee. Came home, a little madden. I had only drank water (about 32 oz) before the tennis and coffee, and I didn't feel tired, weak or hungry. I finally ate a fiber/granola bar at about 4. Oh - and I ate one mini-donut at Fuel. Then I showered and went to Fed Way to meet my parents, in town on a trucking adventure (6k miles in 2 weeks. WTF?) for a delicious seafood dinner overlooking Puget Sound and Vashon Island.
It was great to see them, even though they're looking older and older. My mom's face looks sort of puffy and her eyes are getting... closed/squinty. My dad's face is more and more wrinkled and my grandpa's lines and gray are forming. We actually agreed on politics (the whole system's fucked). I think I may go see them again tomorrow night. Although, while discussing my nephew , who's the youngest of his family - like me, and his 19 yr old lack of goal making/pursuing behavior - my parents joined in comparing him to me. No - not when 19. To NOW. They told me how his only goal is to 'have fun' and looked at me w/ a coy 'sound familiar' look in their eyes and implied leaning-over-to-poke-with-elbow. Um, parents? I'm one of only two of your six children to have 'had fun' through multiple years of college/grad school to attain a professional degree, and pursue a career making use of that degree. The other person attended 5 yrs less than I did. So what if I haven't chosen to have a $2k mortgage, a $500 car payment and settling into domestic boredom before the age of 23 as is standard for most folks around their parts. (well - I sort of tried parts of that, but quickly found it didn't fit.) I suppose I'll forever be tagged w/ 'Oh that A.G - so silllly' that I've been used to since the earliest memories.
How can those with whom I find the most belonging have so little understanding of me as a human?
After coming home from being w/ my parents I proceeded to do the notes for my work calls today whilst listening to some actual CDs. I have done very little quality music listening (or reading, incidentally) for far too long. It felt very nice. Then it started raining after the 2nd disc, so now I'm listening to that. Just as nice.
I seem to have given up exercise in trade for drinking more. (until today). Twice in the last 7 days I've drank way too much. Nothing bad happened other than feeling super off on the day after. I don't really get hungover, which is nice. Still - I can't say I wasn't a little concerned the second time. I was walking home the other night, and must have been feeling extra special because I started jumping while walking, like as high as I could... taking jumping steps. My balance wasn't what it should be and I fell. Banged my elbow a bit (already swelled after a sharp corner last week) and my knee (already swelled from football incident previously documented). It was no big deal, but I've never fallen from drinking. (is passing out falling? I don't think so - since I've always chosen the time and place of said action.)
Yesterday after work I went w/ a friend/coworker to see these toobs in Volunteer Park. They were as cool as expected... kind of surreal and magical feeling. It was annoying to see 5-6 kids between 3 and 12 running amongst them, jumping over them and otherwise putting them at risk. I like that they were in there interacting w/ them, but the lack of parental guidance/oversight was disturbing. The artist had to clear them out more than once after they shifted from wonderment to hyper. She allowed them as long they weren't doing anything that could damage the toobs, but that didn't last long.
Now I'm tired. I hope I get to sleep through the night, but whatever... I've got all day tomorrow to nap between pages. I may go throw some frisbee though.
hughferriss ,
chaosmassive ... Where my boyz?