Feature Blog Entry
[Wrote this for the young adult eNewsletter at Redeemer. Thought y'all might want to rant about it, too...]
You know how at the beginning of a movie, after all the ads and previews and “trivia,” there’s a frame that says “Feature Presentation”? As though you came for any other reason. Sure, most of us enjoy watching previews, but calling the movie you paid $10 to see the “Feature” as though the other elements tacked onto the beginning have equal or only slightly lesser status is bogus. Are they trying to make the movie seem better than it is? Are the ads that much more exciting because they, too, are “Presentations” and not just attempts at up-selling?
Movies aren’t the only thing getting this false up-sell. I bought new socks the other week for the Navajoland Pilgrimage and discovered (after I’d ripped into them, of course) that they had a Ziploc closure. A Ziploc closure, for goodness’ sake! Are they likely to go bad if I don’t keep the air out? And check out the packaging for the new flashlight I bought for the same trip. It’s a small, lantern-like flashlight that turns on and off. That’s what it does, that’s what I bought it for. Yet one of the bulleted selling points is that it has a “Space Saving Handle” that “nests against cap for convenient storage.” Because if that handle didn’t fold down, it just wouldn’t fit into my suitcase and I’d have to leave it at home. Thank goodness someone thought to have that printed on the packaging to warn unsuspecting consumers.
“Whoa, Alice-what’s with the sarcasm?” A feature could just be descriptive: this is what this thing is like, here are its attributes. That’s not how it’s used, thought. We look at a product and say, “What’s this thing gonna do for me? Make it sound better than it is so I’ll give you my money. Give me all the info up front so I won’t be disappointed or surprised.” Guess what, folks? Life’s not like that. Your flashlight will sometimes not work. The Feature Presentation you’ve gone to see is frequently not worth it, though just as frequently better than you thought. Your socks will get dirty when you wear them.
Your hands will get dirty if you live with passion, not expecting to be catered to, but plunging in. Don’t believe the hype. And remember that God’s promise is as good as it sounds.
You know how at the beginning of a movie, after all the ads and previews and “trivia,” there’s a frame that says “Feature Presentation”? As though you came for any other reason. Sure, most of us enjoy watching previews, but calling the movie you paid $10 to see the “Feature” as though the other elements tacked onto the beginning have equal or only slightly lesser status is bogus. Are they trying to make the movie seem better than it is? Are the ads that much more exciting because they, too, are “Presentations” and not just attempts at up-selling?
Movies aren’t the only thing getting this false up-sell. I bought new socks the other week for the Navajoland Pilgrimage and discovered (after I’d ripped into them, of course) that they had a Ziploc closure. A Ziploc closure, for goodness’ sake! Are they likely to go bad if I don’t keep the air out? And check out the packaging for the new flashlight I bought for the same trip. It’s a small, lantern-like flashlight that turns on and off. That’s what it does, that’s what I bought it for. Yet one of the bulleted selling points is that it has a “Space Saving Handle” that “nests against cap for convenient storage.” Because if that handle didn’t fold down, it just wouldn’t fit into my suitcase and I’d have to leave it at home. Thank goodness someone thought to have that printed on the packaging to warn unsuspecting consumers.
“Whoa, Alice-what’s with the sarcasm?” A feature could just be descriptive: this is what this thing is like, here are its attributes. That’s not how it’s used, thought. We look at a product and say, “What’s this thing gonna do for me? Make it sound better than it is so I’ll give you my money. Give me all the info up front so I won’t be disappointed or surprised.” Guess what, folks? Life’s not like that. Your flashlight will sometimes not work. The Feature Presentation you’ve gone to see is frequently not worth it, though just as frequently better than you thought. Your socks will get dirty when you wear them.
Your hands will get dirty if you live with passion, not expecting to be catered to, but plunging in. Don’t believe the hype. And remember that God’s promise is as good as it sounds.