the distance between us
nichkhun/wooyoung
pg
angst; au
1115w.
[in sum]: nichkhun is a star and wooyoung's best friend. wooyoung just dreams of being nichkhun's equal someday.
prompt:
i'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart.
written for
kpopvalentines. original is
here the distance between us
it's hard for wooyoung to believe he knows the man splayed across the advertisement poster of ice cream. there's a refreshing smile on his face and his eyes show true sincerity. as if he's saying, "eat this ice cream and become as happy and handsome as me!"
if only that were true.
nichkhun, otherwise known as the cf king, is every girls' ideal type, every guy's role model, a gentleman to the end, but one that knows how to have fun. he is also wooyoung's best friend and has been since the third grade.
"sometimes", wooyoung thinks, "it's not fun being the other guy."
still, wooyoung remains truly happy for nichkhun. he deserves all the fame and popularity because he can handle it. nichkhun's the nicest guy wooyoung's ever known. the best kind of friend that somehow makes it to wooyoung's neighborhood dance competition in the midst of his busy schedule.
"you really don't have to come" wooyoung remembers telling nichkhun nervously.
there will likely be an uproar at the community center where the dance contest takes place. there will likely be a mob of fans by the time nichkhun tries to make his quick getaway. wooyoung will probably feel a little bit emptier by the time nichkhun leaves. it just works that way. nichkhun's small generosities usually leave wooyoung feeling like nichkhun's taken a part of wooyoung with him.
+
after wooyoung's done staring at nichkhun's poster, he shrugs his backpack onto his shoulder.
"time to warm up" he murmurs to himself.
he's almost at the community center when he gets the text message.
"i'll be a little late. but i'll be there in time for your performance!"
nichkhun adds a little smiley face and three hearts to his message. wooyoung scoffs and quickly stuffs the phone inside his backpack like it doesn't really mean anything. but there's a healthy glow to his cheeks. and he whistles as he walks into the gymnasium.
his other team mates are there. though they're not performing as a team, they greet each other with high fives and shoulder clasps. and they encourage each other. wooyoung feels sturdy with support. there are his dancing buddies here, with him. and then, there's nichkhun.
+
"now, remember, the judges are all choreographers who've had experience in dance. but there's also going to be recruiters in the stands."
wooyoung gulps.
"recruiters?" wooyoung thinks. "wasn't this supposed to be a community center dance contest?"
"awesome!" says wooyoung's friend, chansung. "does that mean we can get scouted into a dance company?"
the event director arches a brow at him.
"not just for dance companies. there are scouts from entertainment companies too. you could even debut as a dance star, an actor, or perhaps a singer too if you can cut it."
there's an awed silence and wooyoung feel his palms getting sweaty. he knows he can place in the top five of this competition. if he does his best, he could even win this thing. and if he was favored in the eyes of the recruiters...
wooyoung imagines himself on par with nichkhun. if wooyoung was a star, maybe nichkhun wouldn't feel so...far away.
the even director claps his hands together.
"now, attention everyone. here's the performance order..."
+
wooyoung's fifth in a line-up of twenty five. he's not in the very beginning, but nichkhun's said he's running late.
though nichkhun is always busy and always surrounded by a crowd of admirers, he's never missed one of wooyoung's performances. wooyoung wonders if it's his own selfishness or his own pride that reassures him, but wooyoung doesn't question the fact that nichkhun will be there to see his performance.
it's a little secret that wooyoung keeps harbored in his heart. but he believes that when nichkhun watches him, wooyoung can shine the brightest. nichkhun is wooyoung's own private good luck charm.
+
junho, who's stage presence is amazing, goes third. wooyoung cheers him on from back stage. but aside from the butterflies in his stomach from watching junho's amazing dance skills, there's a feeling of dread in wooyoung's throat when he doesn't see nichkhun's face in the crowd.
if nichkhun had slipped in, wooyoung would have known. nichkhun doesn't travel quietly no matter how hard he tries.
wooyoung checks his phone, though it's unorthodox for him to look at any kind of distraction before a performance. there are no missed calls. there are no texts.
"where are you?" wooyoung wonders in his head.
the emcee announces contestant number four. junho comes back and is shining with sweat and the brilliance of his smile.
"good luck" junho whispers to wooyoung. but wooyoung doesn't know how to arrange a smile on his face.
there's no nichkhun and wooyoung's five minutes away from a performance.
+
"what's wrong?" asks junsu, another dancing buddy of wooyoung's.
junsu is number nineteen. he still has a ways to go.
"you look pale" says taecyeon, junsu's friend. "do you want me to get someone?"
wooyoung shakes his head vehemently. he's never missed a dance performance because of the jitters. he won't do it now.
"i'm fine" wooyoung tells them. "besides, i'm up next."
"wooyoung. man, if i could i'd change numbers with you but..."
wooyoung shakes his head. "it's okay. don't worry about me."
he manages to give them a smile.
"it's alright" he tells himself. "nichkhun's not going to be there for everything. you've got to stop depending on him so much."
it was never a given that nichkhun should come to wooyoung's competitions. everything had been a mere act of friendship, of generosity.
"a show of publicity" says a nasty part of wooyoung's subconscious. but wooyoung shakes it off.
"and now for contestant number five" the emcee announces.
it's wooyoung's turn. nichkhun or not, he needed to dance.
+
wooyoung keeps telling himself to focus on the music, to focus on dancing. but half of his mind is wandering, looking through the crowd to search for a familiar face.
there's nothing.
and at the end, when the music stops, wooyoung feels his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach to be burned by all the acid. his throat is dry. he knows it's a sub par performance. he remembers the presence of the scouts belatedly. and he feels the gap between nichkhun and him growing larger and larger.
it's practically an abyss.
and so, when wooyoung turns to walk off-stage, he ignores the screams of the fans outside the building. he ignores the fact that the whispers of the crowd get louder. he ignores nichkhun when he finally bursts through the doors.
he doesn't look back and simply wonders.
"if i'm a stitch away from making it, you're the scar that keeps me falling apart."