the end is near
Funny, finding myself back on the internet just as most of my f-list leaves.
Real life has been less than kind to me and mine lately, but eh, I’m not the only one, and I don’t have the worst of it, so who am I to complain, right?
Spent the last few weeks beefing up my portfolio and diving into a massive amount of research for my senior film, yay pre-production. It has taken way a lot of internet time I was hoping to gain back after last semester. But I figure, if I want to do something I gotta throw everything I have into it, even if it means I only update this thing once every hundred years or so.
Other than my massive writers block I’m super excited to get started, I’m even learning some new animation programs. By this time next year I’ll have my own hand made Saturday morning cartoon! I swear I’m not an eight year old.
but all and all I my life isn’t all that exciting, I wish I had a new story to tell once and a while, but it seems I’ve become more suited to collecting the stories of others than having my own. I really need to go out and have some crazy adventure. Instead recently I’ve been catching up on my Harry Potter. I’ve read through to HBP, going to finish sometime early tomorrow. It is one tradition I’m going to miss.
It’s really almost surreal, that 7 is coming in the blink of an eye. It’s gotten me thinking a lot about what HP and its fandom really mean to me.
I was inspired to do this by emmagrant01 whose post yesterday really struck a chord, and made me sort of look back and try to understand why I’m feeling the way I am right now about the next few days.
I was 14 when I first read Harry, and at the time I didn’t want to. It was right after the first big HP boom when there was awkward merchandise everywhere. But then Latin class happened. Two of my friends started telling me I loved Voldemort, and other random things along those lines. I had no clue what they were talking about. It took a few weeks but I finally got sick of being so confused and begrudgingly asked to borrow a copy. Took me two weeks to become a rabid fangirl.
And for the first time I felt something, the sort of camaraderie that comes only with fandom. Everything else I liked had just been me and maybe a few other people up to that point. With Harry it was a community, and I befriended people I never thought I would at the time, but couldn’t imagine what life would be like without them now.
Harry got me through some of my own weird teenage angst. I especially remember when our Latin teacher was replaced buy a man who seemed to suck the joy out of everything. My favorite class became something I dreaded every day. By the time the year was over I was pissed, felt like I had been cheated out of something I loved, and then, just when I needed it up popped OotP, and Umbridge. The resemblance was uncanny, and it took my friends and I two days to decide they were related, and let me turn those frustrations and bitter feelings into something good, something fun. There was also the excitement of sitting by the window waiting for the next book to come. And I won’t even go into the fannish dreams (Snape is my uncle?)
My very first day at Purchase I met princesskariboo. It took us 15 minutes to bond over slash (she tells that story better than I do) and maybe an hour before we were Harry Potter buddies. Now, back in Buffalo we had one computer for five people so I never really realized the extent of fandom outside of the occasional fansite I stumbled upon. I figured it was just my friends and I talking and doodling and fooling around, along with a few odd people who were as weird as my group was. princesskariboo along with evilimp ushered me into the wonderful world of fanfic. Oh, and H/D. I had my first experience waiting for that next chapter in a novel length fic with Kara, and Becka read me Snape/Lucius smut as a bedtime story. And the poor dears have had to listen to my Percy is amazing rant more times than they can probably stand.
Some of my most loved memories come from fandom. Like a 20 minute conversation on a bus about the GoF movie with a complete stranger who has a robe in her bag; afterwords explaining to your classmate you had no clue who they were and no, you were not old friends (I still look for her every time I get on the bus)
And there was the day I got a frantic phone call from Kara I could barely make out saying emmagrant01 was coming to NY and wanted to meet with fandom folks for dinner; followed shortly by said dinner. Now, I’m not exactly the most outgoing person, in fact I’m really socially awkward and shy. People are more of a Kara and Becka thing. But even though we mostly hid in our little corner I didn’t feel all that awkward or out of place. I still get that warm fuzzy family feeling when I think about it.
And I can’t forget my two happy visits with mijan. First time we ended up seeing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; her sister and I made faces at her and Becka from across the theatre for a good solid 10 minutes. She also did what Kara, Becka and I call the sad/evil thing, where she picked up Kara and played out a little scene of her fic ‘Eclipse’ for us that made Becka and I cower in the corner in tears. Second time was not all that long ago when she was moving. Which allowed lots of time for Becka and I to make teary puppy dog eyes and go “fic?” and simply just hang out and talk, and really, nothing in the world is better than just hanging out.
The memories keep going even though I haven’t been the most active participator in fandom, mostly due to a combination of RL issues and shyness. Now I find myself getting over it (the shyness, not the RL, I need that to make monies to eat); the one thing I’ve learned from my few dabbles into active participation is that fandom is the best place in the world to share and grow in pretty much anything, and no matter what your thing there is someone else out there who feels just the same.
It is really just hitting me how long Harry has been a part of my life. 7 years, now 7 books. But you know what? I’m not depressed about it, even if canon is coming to a close Harry is going to be a part of my life for a long, long time to come.
Thanks for humoring me! Now for the few people still online I have some pre-book excitement doodles to share. I don't think I spent more than 15 minutes on any of these, but enjoy?
seems only right to start with Harry
Harry/Draco, I love them so. Especially together... possibly against a wall...
This one is for my sister, who's on her first run through the books right now. My little girl is all grown up (wipes tear from eye)
andgracetoo asked me to draw her a Snape. It isn't the best, but eh, it is the first time I've tried to draw the man in about three years.
no one but Zacharias Smith is good enough for coloring
little creepy Won-Won
yet another reason I'd make a terrible Mary-Sue
Crabbe
my fave Slytherins
Lockheart being shiny
Moody being creepy
Tonks!
Kingsley and Tonks, I'm very attached to the idea of those two together.
more Kingsley n Tonks
new OTP?
ok, I was thinking back to all the beasts of the wizarding world, and remembered one was described as a sort of blanket monster that smothered to death or something along those lines, and well, this image is always the first that comes to mind. Not how I'd want to go is all I'm saying.
Draco. Naked. Kind of creepy skinny. Does it really matter what he is doing?
I swear this started as a normal drawing.
Luna. I adore her.
and last but not least Percy! and Oliver is in there too. Really, did anyone really think I could make it through a Harry Potter art post without at least one Percy?
I would like to echo the sentiments of many others, giving a thank you to fandom because you are always there when I feel like I'm going mad, when I desperately need a smile, or even just when I'm bored between classes. Fandom, I love you, you all mean the world to me.
(ah! between the time I started uploading stuff and now there has been all sorts of posts about the recent LJ going ons that have started to pop up. I'm not sure what is going to happen, especially with so many people away from their journals avoiding spoilers and the likes, but I guess I'm off to set up GJ and JF accounts just in case. oh internet drama, it has been too long.)