why preyest thou upon the poets heart?
so whats new, you may be wondering. very much. i probably had the most hectic week trying to figure out what this holiday is all about. christmas just didnt really come for me this year. sure it happened, but theres a certain part of you that has to embrace it, for it to actually occure. no part of me was ready for it. no part of me enjoyed it. opening gifts just wasnt the same this year. i guess maybe theres just a point in your life where the thrill disappears. i dont like how im called unappriciative when i dont rejoice over what people gave me for christmas. i really didnt like what i got. i didnt ask for it, so why should i appriciate it. there wasnt even thought put into the gifts they gave. whats the point of giving if you dont think about it? speaking of which, ive never felt so underestimated or left out in my life. i hate how people glorify others faults. they make it seem like they deserve the world because of what they lack in personality or behavior. it really pisses me off. the post-xmas wasnt much better. i feel everything slipping away from me. i cant control it. and i still havent accepted that. fuck this. i'll just do what im supposed to for the rest of the week, then get plastered again on friday night.