stop and think a while.

[passthefever]

lately my faith has been something running through my head. usually i wouldn't care, and throw god/my own faith aside. it was no importance to me. i have been raised catholic, and growing up i realized that i didn't like everything about it, but in some ways church was sacred and beautiful. if you've been to catholic mass its pretty much the same thing every week but there is something special about it, everyone there is there to pray for something in their lives. i really dont know, my faith has been something i've been gaining back. i don't go to church, but im realizing that god has been playing a active role within myself. i realize that before i go to bed, repeatively i've been asking god for happiness. but is happiness something god can grant me? i can't even answer that, because i have been feeling the same lately. but having my faith is making me think that there is something out there, god, or what not can not find the answer to my happiness. i'm my own happiness. i am my own strength. i am my own wisdom. i am my cause of depression and sadness. i am the cause of my life. i make decisions. i make the effort to make happiness. god doesn't just put it in my hands. i feel that god is guiding me to something better, but he is making obstacles for me to conquer and become some kind of better person in life. i want to be a better person. i want to stop living life like i dont care, that nothing is important. i feel that because of me doing that i was digging myself into this hole i would never get out of.
i really do not know if anyone read this, or if anyone cares, but i think if everyone has a little faith, gods gonna help you through your hard times.

goodnight, Erica