(no subject)
Well my heart just about jumped out of my chest. Didn't know I'd still have the reaction. :/ I really wish I could be stronger and be over it. She feels like an ex I can't get over. I guess when you get that close to somebody though for so long, it's hard not to miss them and the good times we had.
I don't miss the partying and all the crazy drunken nights. I miss the calling each other throughout the day just to talk about life. The trips to go shopping. Getting ready together. Watching shows together. Just being friends. I know we will both always love each other and I really do think that if we called the other one and needed something,we would both be there for each other. But unfortunately I don't think we'll ever be able to be real friends again. Our lives are so different now. We don't hang out with any of the same people. My fiance isn't her biggest fan, but he understands how much she meant to me and still does. He was so supportive today when I told him about her contacting me. Even though I know he wasn't happy that she had, he didn't voice his opinion too much on it, just told me to be careful.
I just wish it wouldn't bother me as much as it does. I sometimes think about the video I made her for when she moved and the notebook we had. We had a lot of good times. But then I have to remind myself that we had a lot of not so good times. I have to remind myself that she didn't always treat me so great. In fact, she was pretty rotten to me quite a few times. She chose other people over me all the time and ultimately she gave up our friendship because of that. When everyone else was there by my side in hard times to support me, she was nowhere to be found. Now, in the happiest time of my life, she's nowhere to be found either.
I just have to learn to move on from it and focus on the people that continue to be in my life and be amazing friends to me. I love them all so much and I'm so grateful for them. I love that I have such a supportive fiance, and amazing and supportive best friends.
As Mat said to me earlier about it, "This world is soooo random."
I don't miss the partying and all the crazy drunken nights. I miss the calling each other throughout the day just to talk about life. The trips to go shopping. Getting ready together. Watching shows together. Just being friends. I know we will both always love each other and I really do think that if we called the other one and needed something,we would both be there for each other. But unfortunately I don't think we'll ever be able to be real friends again. Our lives are so different now. We don't hang out with any of the same people. My fiance isn't her biggest fan, but he understands how much she meant to me and still does. He was so supportive today when I told him about her contacting me. Even though I know he wasn't happy that she had, he didn't voice his opinion too much on it, just told me to be careful.
I just wish it wouldn't bother me as much as it does. I sometimes think about the video I made her for when she moved and the notebook we had. We had a lot of good times. But then I have to remind myself that we had a lot of not so good times. I have to remind myself that she didn't always treat me so great. In fact, she was pretty rotten to me quite a few times. She chose other people over me all the time and ultimately she gave up our friendship because of that. When everyone else was there by my side in hard times to support me, she was nowhere to be found. Now, in the happiest time of my life, she's nowhere to be found either.
I just have to learn to move on from it and focus on the people that continue to be in my life and be amazing friends to me. I love them all so much and I'm so grateful for them. I love that I have such a supportive fiance, and amazing and supportive best friends.
As Mat said to me earlier about it, "This world is soooo random."