All I ever needed to know in life I learned from....
This post is only for Ally McBeal fans, which means you gwtwscarlett! Though I think it could be funny for non-fans as well, seeing as how random everything will sound.
I've always loved these "All I ever needed to know I learned from ___________" which I think originally comes from that book about having learned it all in kindergarten, ever since I read Buffy-themed lists years ago.
Court cases only ever last one day.
And it is very common for a lawyer to get assigned to a case that very same day it is set to begin.
Don't be too concerned if you're seeing things that aren't there, as long as you (pretty much) know they're not real (sort of). Do, however, get checked out by a doctor immediately if you suddenly turn into a chauvanist pig and have the urge to bleach your hair blonde.
The key to success in life is summoning a theme song for yourself inside your head.
The best way to win ridiculous court cases is to imply ridiculous tactics which help distract and simultaneously undermine the seriousness of the American legal system.
Want to rattle your trial opponent? Squeak your shoes, throw your nose whistle, or pour your water suuuper slooooowly.
Need to win over the jury? Tell a personal, embarrassing story about yourself or your colleague, or, better yet- get them to sing songs from The Music Man with you!
The best way to get out of having just said anything offensive, embarrassing, or awkard is to follow it up with a "bygones!".
Envision famous singers belting out their songs to you, and they will undoubtedly pop in for real at your favorite bar.
27 is almost too old to have kids...beware of dancing babies!
The best way to tell if it's true love is to sniff each others' butts.
Therapists are crazier than their patients. (probably true)
Unisex bathrooms are fabulous places for socializing, gossiping & eavesdropping, working on your dismount, and of course dancing.
You can sue anyone for sexual harrassment for absolutely any reason you can come up with, and there's a 76% chance you'll win.
It is always winter in Boston, it snows 211 days out of the year, and about half of these days are Christmas.
Spouting out cities in New York is a good way to control a stutter.
Life is a musical.
Always button your jacket when you get up to speak: it's a sign of respect.
If you're crying a lot and feeling miserable you must be happy/have had a worthwhile year and you just don't know it.
My own problems are more important than anybody else's... because they're mine.
"The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to." (but I knew this- it's like, my motto)
You can sue God.
Dental hygiene is important.
Wattle can be way sexy.
So can knee-pit.
Okay, gotta go shovel the driveway again before my mother literally kills me.
I've always loved these "All I ever needed to know I learned from ___________" which I think originally comes from that book about having learned it all in kindergarten, ever since I read Buffy-themed lists years ago.
Court cases only ever last one day.
And it is very common for a lawyer to get assigned to a case that very same day it is set to begin.
Don't be too concerned if you're seeing things that aren't there, as long as you (pretty much) know they're not real (sort of). Do, however, get checked out by a doctor immediately if you suddenly turn into a chauvanist pig and have the urge to bleach your hair blonde.
The key to success in life is summoning a theme song for yourself inside your head.
The best way to win ridiculous court cases is to imply ridiculous tactics which help distract and simultaneously undermine the seriousness of the American legal system.
Want to rattle your trial opponent? Squeak your shoes, throw your nose whistle, or pour your water suuuper slooooowly.
Need to win over the jury? Tell a personal, embarrassing story about yourself or your colleague, or, better yet- get them to sing songs from The Music Man with you!
The best way to get out of having just said anything offensive, embarrassing, or awkard is to follow it up with a "bygones!".
Envision famous singers belting out their songs to you, and they will undoubtedly pop in for real at your favorite bar.
27 is almost too old to have kids...beware of dancing babies!
The best way to tell if it's true love is to sniff each others' butts.
Therapists are crazier than their patients. (probably true)
Unisex bathrooms are fabulous places for socializing, gossiping & eavesdropping, working on your dismount, and of course dancing.
You can sue anyone for sexual harrassment for absolutely any reason you can come up with, and there's a 76% chance you'll win.
It is always winter in Boston, it snows 211 days out of the year, and about half of these days are Christmas.
Spouting out cities in New York is a good way to control a stutter.
Life is a musical.
Always button your jacket when you get up to speak: it's a sign of respect.
If you're crying a lot and feeling miserable you must be happy/have had a worthwhile year and you just don't know it.
My own problems are more important than anybody else's... because they're mine.
"The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to." (but I knew this- it's like, my motto)
You can sue God.
Dental hygiene is important.
Wattle can be way sexy.
So can knee-pit.
Okay, gotta go shovel the driveway again before my mother literally kills me.